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just_lost
Jcunnane wrote:
His little belly was shaved but he was so happy he did the "Upside Down Pineapple Cake Pose" 😉


Midget's belly was shaved when she got fixed, and it's still bald after almost three years!  Poor little cat 😃
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Memories_of_Marmalade

Hi just_lost,

When Marmalade's belly was shaved for his Ultrasound, when he got home he was like "You've got to be kidding."

Poor guy. He did not like being shaved. The entire left side of his head was shaved for his ear canal surgery and he had a row of stitches that went all the way down the entire side of his head. He looked like a punk rock Frankenstein's Monster. Then they shaved his right arm for his IV for his dental surgery and he did not like that either. 
My brave, courageous boy. : *** I
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Jcunnane
just_lost wrote:


Midget's belly was shaved when she got fixed, and it's still bald after almost three years!  Poor little cat 😃


Oh no!!! It just never grew back? Poor Midget!

Poor Bubby has been shaved I think like 3 times on his sides and belly for ultrasounds then completely shaved for his bladder surgery. His incision was about 6 inches. It was pretty intense. He had his little legs shaved too for the IVs during his 3 stats at the hospital. The photos are still on my phone and I hate looking at them. After his bladder surgery we had to give him meds every 2-3 hours round the clock for I forget how long! At the time, I was freelancing so it worked out that I could be home with him. We gated off a spare bedroom, removed all the furniture and put the mattress on the floor. With his newspaper pellet filled litterbox, he and I camped out in there for 5 weeks. My husband would sleep in there at night so I could be with Lola. We were all exhausted and losing our minds but we got through it. It’s hard to believe he didn’t even make it two years after that. He had that surgery on his 8th birthday 😕 he was such a trooper. When he came home from his surgery and overnight stay, he laid in the mattress and did the “upside down pineapple cake” pose. He was so happy to be home. My warrior...my hero 🧡

Bubby's (Milo) Mommy - Always & Forever My Little Man 💜

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JinglesMom
Jcunnane wrote:


Pamela,

Where would I be with you and James? A dream of Bubby...a sign! DUH! The fog is thick. I can't believe I didn't think about it until you two mentioned it. It was so very real. He had the same shaved belly he had when he had his bladder stone surgery with the same incision. Although it wasn't bladder stones in my dream. I'm not really sure what it was though. It was a blockage of some sort but maybe in his heart? Here's the really strange part. Jonathan Scott of the Property Brothers on HGTV was the doctor. SO WEIRD! He wasn't on TV before I went to bed although I was watching HGTV. I may or may not watch a lot of it ;) I love interior design.

I'm so glad you were happy he came to visit me as it warmed your heart. That's so sweet of you. It made me very happy as well. My sleep ironically has been better since. Still waking up slightly but not up for hours. I don't need to try and bore myself back to sleep. I think, like you said, he knew the perfect timing to say hi! I've been having some very rough days as I said and I think he knew I needed him even if it was in a different way. I miss him so much. Work has been very crazy with just chaos that doesn't have to be and he would be my calmness through it all. Feeling so overwhelmed.

Our daughter, Avery, has a pacifier with a stuffed kitty on the end of it. They're called wubbanubs. The kitty is an orange tabby like Bubby. She's had it ever since she was born because she had very bad silent acid reflux and a cow's milk protein intolerance and it is/was and has been the only thing that has calmed her instantaneously. If she's crying we hand it to her and the crying stops just like that. If we give it to her, she has a huge smile on her face. We call it her Bubby. I love that she has found the same calmness that my Bubby has given me with her Bubby 🧡

I love this...Deux Ames, Un Coeur. I've never heard of it before so therefore I had to look it up but it's so true. Thank you so much for sharing that with me.

I hope you are doing well. You're so helpful to all of us here I often wonder how you are feeling. I know not having your three little ones must be difficult. Have you had any signs lately from them?

Sending you tons of hugs!
Jackie



Jackie,
It is so good to hear from you, and your kind words always seem to lift my spirits so much. I have always heard that "dream visits" are somewhat different than regular dreams because they feel so real, and there is just a different quality to them. That is interesting how Jonathon Scott was the doctor, and that in your dream, Bubby had the same shaved belly he had in a previous surgery for bladder stones. It is strange how our subconscious mind will put little bits and pieces together, and they will show up in the world between sleep and waking, sometimes with no rhyme or reason. I truly believe that your sweet boy did find his way back to you to let you know he was just fine, what a comfort that must have been. I am so happy to hear that you have been sleeping better, as sleep is so important to reenergize ourselves when we are dealing with the roller coaster emotions of grief. 

I remember when I first lost my Jingles, how I did not sleep for almost three days in a row. I was running on pure adrenaline, and I think I was scared to go to sleep, because I knew that if I went to sleep, I would have to wake up without him, if that makes any sense. Finally, on the third day, my body just could not take it anymore, and I closed my eyes and slept for a few hours. All throughout the losses of my three little ones though, sleep was so elusive, because it felt as though there was such a heavy weight on my chest, and it was so hard to just breathe. Very often I would fall asleep only to wake up in the wee hours of the morning, and I would just throw in the towel so to speak, and stay up.

That is so sweet about your baby daughter Avery's "Bubby" pacifier, how absolutely precious that the kitty on the end of it is an orange tabby, just like your sweet boy. How special is it that she gets the same peace and calmness from her Bubby as you do from yours. I am sure that she gives you so much joy in this time of sadness. I have six children, three boys and three girls, who are all grown up now, but they have always been my light at the end of the tunnel in every way. They are always there for me in every way whenever I need them, and now I am so blessed with grandchildren. When my Jingles lost his fight that cold, dark night in January, the next morning, my two darling grandchildren did not say a word, but they just wrapped their little arms around me and hugged me so sweetly, and that meant more to me than anything else in the whole world.

I do love those beautiful words Deux Ames, Un Coeur. I took nine years of French in school, so I am somewhat fluent in it, but I never have had a chance to use it, and I do love the language, and when I first heard that saying I thought, that's the one! It just described my relationship with my Jingles, my Jasper, and my Pootie Tang so well. Two Souls, One Heart, truer words were never spoken, and those words seemed absolutely perfect for you and your Bubby, and your very special bond. I have not had any more signs recently from my dear little ones, but what I would give for a dream. I want so badly to hold my Jingles in my arms one more time, how that would warm my heart and give me such peace.

I had one dream about Jasper years ago which so meant the world to me, and I will never ever forget it. It felt so real and the colors were so vivid and so bright. I was walking down a path calling out his name, searching for him, and I was kind of like in a twilight sleep, when you are right in between deep sleep and waking. I could hear myself calling his name out loud Jasper, Jasper, Jasper, and I just knew he was so close, I could feel it with every ounce of my being. Then finally it happened, I saw him! He looked wonderful, so strong, so vibrant, and so healthy, and sparkles of gold and silver light surrounded him, and it was truly mesmerizing. As our eyes met, he did not take his steady gaze off of me as I started walking faster and faster towards him, and I was almost there, and then I reached out my hand to touch him, and I woke up. It was so surreal and it was so amazing, and it was just what I needed, at just the right time to keep on going.

Thank you so much Jackie for your sweet words which help me so much as I face another day without the little loves of my life. I miss them so much, and sometimes it just feels so bad and so wrong that they are not here with me, but then I have to stop and think, the love that I share with them will keep us together for an eternity. That is the same with you and your little man, you may not be able to see him with your eyes, but you will always be able to feel him with your heart. I just wanted to let you know that your words have always helped me more than you will ever know to keep hope and faith alive and well in this so called new normal, without my little ones by my side, and I am so grateful. Wishing you a peaceful evening filled with the light and love of your very special boy, who is always and forever by your side. Thank you for your friendship, sending lots of hugs your way, Pamela


Pamela Lynne Crawford
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just_lost
Jcunnane wrote:
“upside down pineapple cake” pose.


So that's what it's called.  Completely normal for Away and Brutus to sprawl out like that when they sleep.  Hailey only does it occasionally when she's flopped over on her side and reaching out to me as I walk by (speaking of whom, that damn cat will sometimes crawl under dressers, night stands, and beds just waiting for somebody to walk by.  Then she'll slap at their feet.  Crazy animal.)  Midget rarely does that pose, but we have a few pics of her conked out in a chair like that.
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JinglesMom
Just_Lost,
I had never heard of the upside down pineapple cake pose, but that is such a cute and perfect description by Jackie and James about their kitties. Once in awhile my Jingles and Jasper would sleep like that, and then I knew that they were very content and happy, but I don't recall my PT ever laying like that. Sometimes my Jasper would flop down on his back and show me his belly when I would come home from a long day at work. When they do that, that shows that they trust you implicitly. Jasper was my head bunter for sure, he loved to head bunt me and purr away like crazy, he also loved to lay on top of me and snooze away. 

When I would make the bed, my darling Jingles would hop up and down and do his little dance on the sheets, which would always make me laugh. He was quite the little dancer my tabby boy was. My little pocket kitty Pootie Tang was as quiet as a mouse, I could probably count on one hand when a sound came out of her dear little mouth, so when she did meow, I definitely took notice of it. They were all so different with such distinct personalities, and their little idiosyncrasies are what made them so special and what made us love them even more. Our special little ones, so missed, so loved, and always remembered with a grateful heart.
 
Pamela Lynne Crawford
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Jcunnane
just_lost wrote:


So that's what it's called.  Completely normal for Away and Brutus to sprawl out like that when they sleep.  Hailey only does it occasionally when she's flopped over on her side and reaching out to me as I walk by (speaking of whom, that damn cat will sometimes crawl under dressers, night stands, and beds just waiting for somebody to walk by.  Then she'll slap at their feet.  Crazy animal.)  Midget rarely does that pose, but we have a few pics of her conked out in a chair like that.


Haha yes! James said it and I was like YES! He's so clever with words!

Bubby's (Milo) Mommy - Always & Forever My Little Man 💜

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Memories_of_Marmalade


Ha, ha, ha. It is funny to see others using that expression: "Pineapple Upside Down Cake Pose." My family started to use that expression about 47 years ago when we adopted our first cats and for some reason it stuck!

I used to call Marmalade "Pineapple" and "Cake" sometime when he would strike that pose so much. And as I mentioned, it endeared me to him the first few times I saw him make that pose, when he was a stray cat, as he appeared so, so content and grateful when engaged in that upside down pose.

Here Marmalade was this scrawny, sick, dirty, mite infested, orphan, but he was so, so grateful for a somewhat full belly and a tiny shade tree to lay under in the high desert of New Mexico. He taught me how to be grateful, feel blessed and content and how to live in the moment. My little boy. Gone 8 weeks today. 

James
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Jcunnane
JinglesMom wrote:



Jackie,
It is so good to hear from you, and your kind words always seem to lift my spirits so much. I have always heard that "dream visits" are somewhat different than regular dreams because they feel so real, and there is just a different quality to them. That is interesting how Jonathon Scott was the doctor, and that in your dream, Bubby had the same shaved belly he had in a previous surgery for bladder stones. It is strange how our subconscious mind will put little bits and pieces together, and they will show up in the world between sleep and waking, sometimes with no rhyme or reason. I truly believe that your sweet boy did find his way back to you to let you know he was just fine, what a comfort that must have been. I am so happy to hear that you have been sleeping better, as sleep is so important to reenergize ourselves when we are dealing with the roller coaster emotions of grief. 

I remember when I first lost my Jingles, how I did not sleep for almost three days in a row. I was running on pure adrenaline, and I think I was scared to go to sleep, because I knew that if I went to sleep, I would have to wake up without him, if that makes any sense. Finally, on the third day, my body just could not take it anymore, and I closed my eyes and slept for a few hours. All throughout the losses of my three little ones though, sleep was so elusive, because it felt as though there was such a heavy weight on my chest, and it was so hard to just breathe. Very often I would fall asleep only to wake up in the wee hours of the morning, and I would just throw in the towel so to speak, and stay up.

That is so sweet about your baby daughter Avery's "Bubby" pacifier, how absolutely precious that the kitty on the end of it is an orange tabby, just like your sweet boy. How special is it that she gets the same peace and calmness from her Bubby as you do from yours. I am sure that she gives you so much joy in this time of sadness. I have six children, three boys and three girls, who are all grown up now, but they have always been my light at the end of the tunnel in every way. They are always there for me in every way whenever I need them, and now I am so blessed with grandchildren. When my Jingles lost his fight that cold, dark night in January, the next morning, my two darling grandchildren did not say a word, but they just wrapped their little arms around me and hugged me so sweetly, and that meant more to me than anything else in the whole world.

I do love those beautiful words Deux Ames, Un Coeur. I took nine years of French in school, so I am somewhat fluent in it, but I never have had a chance to use it, and I do love the language, and when I first heard that saying I thought, that's the one! It just described my relationship with my Jingles, my Jasper, and my Pootie Tang so well. Two Souls, One Heart, truer words were never spoken, and those words seemed absolutely perfect for you and your Bubby, and your very special bond. I have not had any more signs recently from my dear little ones, but what I would give for a dream. I want so badly to hold my Jingles in my arms one more time, how that would warm my heart and give me such peace.

I had one dream about Jasper years ago which so meant the world to me, and I will never ever forget it. It felt so real and the colors were so vivid and so bright. I was walking down a path calling out his name, searching for him, and I was kind of like in a twilight sleep, when you are right in between deep sleep and waking. I could hear myself calling his name out loud Jasper, Jasper, Jasper, and I just knew he was so close, I could feel it with every ounce of my being. Then finally it happened, I saw him! He looked wonderful, so strong, so vibrant, and so healthy, and sparkles of gold and silver light surrounded him, and it was truly mesmerizing. As our eyes met, he did not take his steady gaze off of me as I started walking faster and faster towards him, and I was almost there, and then I reached out my hand to touch him, and I woke up. It was so surreal and it was so amazing, and it was just what I needed, at just the right time to keep on going.

Thank you so much Jackie for your sweet words which help me so much as I face another day without the little loves of my life. I miss them so much, and sometimes it just feels so bad and so wrong that they are not here with me, but then I have to stop and think, the love that I share with them will keep us together for an eternity. That is the same with you and your little man, you may not be able to see him with your eyes, but you will always be able to feel him with your heart. I just wanted to let you know that your words have always helped me more than you will ever know to keep hope and faith alive and well in this so called new normal, without my little ones by my side, and I am so grateful. Wishing you a peaceful evening filled with the light and love of your very special boy, who is always and forever by your side. Thank you for your friendship, sending lots of hugs your way, Pamela




Dear Pamela,

Your dream of Jasper is like a movie! I'm sure all you wanted to do was to hold him again and pet his little head. 

Avery has given me comfort and has kept me busy. I really try not to be upset around her so sometimes I'll have to hide behind a wall for a quick moment to center myself again. I feel guilty though for not being as present and happy as I should be with her and Lola. I know in time things will level out but right now it's just so very hard to keep my composure. 

Wow, 6 kids? You are WonderWoman! Avery is our first and probably our last lol! She has been quite the handful...and that's putting it lightly. But how sweet are your grandchildren to just know to give their grandma a hug when she needs it most and not have to say a word. That's beautiful!

Sleeping has not been great again. I was up all night last night. Like you said you wake up in the wee hours of the morning and just throw in the towel. It's not going to happen no matter how hard I try. I hope you receive a dream or sign soon from one of your angels. I know how special they are now and how much they mean. I'm hoping Bubby will send another one soon, when he's ready. 

Today marks 4 weeks since we had to say goodbye. Every time I think about those last couple of hours the tears, the lump in my throat, the tight throat, the constricting chest, it all comes back as if it was day one again...hour one. I'm still can't believe he's not here. It's just not fair. 

I'm so happy that I can lend a helping hand to you. Sometimes I feel so selfish right now and knowing that I am helping you as much as you have helped me, makes me feel better. Today, like the past couple days, I still feel at a loss of words. Maybe that's why I feel selfish. I'm usually helping people and I just feel like I have nothing left to give. It's amazing how this animal, this little soul can make me feel so empty. I've just been staring off into space with a thick fog around me. I put the "fake it to make it" face on all the time and all I really want to do is sit in a corner and cry. But like you said I need to stop and remember that our love will keep us together for eternity. 

Thank you always for your support and sweet thoughtful words 😊

Hugs,
Jackie

Bubby's (Milo) Mommy - Always & Forever My Little Man 💜

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Memories_of_Marmalade

"It's amazing how this animal, this little soul can make me feel so empty. I've just been staring off into space with a thick fog around me. I put the "fake it to make it" face on all the time and all I really want to do is sit in a corner and cry."

Jackie, that is how I feel too. Whenever someone approaches me each day and we are talking "business", I can not think of anything in my head but "Don't you know I am grieving Marmalade?" - "Marmalade is gone" - "Marmalade is no longer here" - "Marmalade is never coming back" - "I'm never going to see my boy again." And yet, I am standing or sitting there talking business with the client or colleague and being totally polished and professional and smiling and they have no idea that I am completely immersed in grief, sorrow & regret. That I am counting the minutes until I can stop talking to them. I am in a FOG like you said.

Yes, "Fake it to you make it." I can't wait for the conversations with others to end, and for them to go away. I'm so relieved when I can just be alone again to try and process what has happened. I am still in complete shock and devastation.
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