I lost Sammy on 7/31/10. I always knew our timelines were similar. It was your stories of Maddie, and Sammy himself, that moved me to adopt Diana. Diana is a true beauty. She is now 8 months old today. When I lost Sammy, I was totally lost. My spiritual beliefs in being re-united with my boy are strong...but my physical being was not doing well. Diana helped me through that and I seem to be physically on the good side again. You have certainly had your trials and tribulations.
I enjoy sharing Diana photos with you. I truly hope that watching her grow up, and acquiring some of Maddie's traits, helps you as well. You always respond to the photos....in such a wonderful way.
I never intended to adopt again after Sammy. I go into the living room every morning and kiss my hand and touch his box. I never fail to say good morning to my little man. I will do that until the day I re-join him. I still believe that I will be blessed in the hereafter with Sammy, Aja and Diana...what a family that will make for my wife and me.
It's hard to grasp that our loved ones are gone half a year! Keep her close. Just know that even when you adopt again (If you do), that the love for the her will never diminish in any way. Mind you...I love Diana, like I never thought I could love again. The love for her is NOT the love I had for Sam. He is my boy...she is my girl...and oh, how she loves her mommy. I just knew that a female would bond with my wife. There is something very special....and I am so happy for that.
I believe it with all my heart...you will see Maddie again...and when you do, nothing will ever interfere with that again. You have so much love to give, that it is my hope that you will try and adopt at least ONE more time. Do it for you...do it for the puppy that will receive so much love...and do it for Maddie, who will guide you along the way.
You and others have been a great solice for me. I found this place on the Sunday after Sammy passed...and did the Monday vigil. I found the forums a few days later and have been in and out ever since. I often times read posts and cannot find a way to compose myself enough to respond...but I am here and feel for all those who seek answers and peace, here.
As you, I have received signs. Some bigger than others. I just encourage anyone who has read your posts...or mine...that the signs are truly there. Maddie is there. Sammy is there. They appear in small ways. Look for little, subtle hints. Every now and then, as Sammy did at Christmas...he gave my wife a sign, while I was out of time, by walking under the Christmas tree and made the ornaments "tinkle". My wife was elated. She knew immediately, that it was Sammy. He loved Christmas and the joy of opening presents on Christmas morning...so much so that he manifested himself to her!
As Lennon and McCartney wrote: "The Love you take is equal to the Love you make". The look on Maddie's face in many of of her photos is a true measure of that. She shows the love that she received in return.
If you ever find a way to give that love to another...what a blessing that will be! You are a wonderful person with a GREAT heart! May Maddie's warmth and love be with you, always!