I lost my best friend Bailey yesterday. I have had him since I was three years old and I’m now 18. I don’t remember life without him and I’m really struggling coming to terms with the fact he’s gone. I keep on replaying when he died in my head. I woke up yesterday morning (he was fine the day before) and he just couldn’t get up. He couldn’t move and couldn’t walk so me and my family made the difficult decision to have him put to sleep because he couldn’t live the life he wanted to anymore. When he got put to sleep he was staring into my eyes and continued to do this until he took his last breath. I can’t stop thinking that he was looking at me confused at to why I was doing that to him or if he was thanking me for stopping his pain and being his best friend for 15 years. My heart is honestly broken and I have no idea how to deal with this if anyone has any tips on how to cope with the pain I am feeling right now please let me know.
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Putting a pet down is the hardest. You question “did I put him/her down to soon” “could it have waited one more day”. ”why didn’t i know they were sick”. I know putting the pet down was the human thing to do. But I still blame my self and probably will for a very long time. It’s hard because she acted fine Saturday morning and by Tuesday she was gone. It helps me knowing that I was with her and I’m glade she didn’t pass by herself. But that day will be remembered for my life. Being there with her was the hardest thing I can imagine. It’s been 4 weeks and I still cry everyday. Let yourself cry. 

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Bailey just wanted one more look at you.

All that he saw when he looked at you was love, care, compassion & affection.

I'm so sorry for your and your family's loss.

Kind regards & my sincerest condolences,
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I am so sorry for your loss of Bailey. He knew you were there and that would have meant the world to him. Take care xox
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Hi Nicole. My name is Sydney and I am 20 years old. Today my parents and I had to put down our 13 year old dog named Toby who has been a brother to me growing up. We got him when I was in elementary school and we both grew up together. I also watched the process and Toby was looking at me the whole time, even after the injections. Has the image of this gotten any easier to handle for you? It is plastered in my mind and I don't think it will ever fade. Seeing him laying there is forever ingrained in my head. I feel helpless just like you and have no hope for the future. You are not alone and I would love to talk to you more.
sydney meade
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Condolences on your loss.You have described the exactly same image that i am trying to erase from my brain of my boy laying there in the vets with me holding his lifeless body when 10 mins earlier he was prob just wondering why am I here?Did he think just for a check up or did he know his end was coming but I’m thinking the latter as he did not seem to want to go in and for this I feel I have deceived him and I’m ultimately responsible for ending his life whether he wanted to live or not but I sincerely hope he forgives me as as the guilt is overriding everything else positive about his life.

Love Runningman xx
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Thanks for everyone’s replies I’m trying so hard to deal with all of this but I’m finding it so hard. Sydney I’m so sorry to hear about your dog😩I know exactly how you feel and it really is the hardest thing ever! I am still constantly replaying that day at the vets in my head remembering how the life in his eyes just faded away whilst he was looking at me. I believe that Bailey is still with me and my family I just don’t think we can see him anymore and I hope he is waiting for us on the other side. It’s not gotten easier for me yet I’m afraid Sydney my head and mind is a mess and hurts and I really hope it gets easier for me and you. Runningman I am in the exact same position as you are, thinking about him being carried into me alive and playful and leaving gone and floppy. That last thing Bailey did before he died was lick my lips twice and stare into my eyes. I know how much he loved me and I know he knows how much I loved him. I kept thinking he was looking at me thinking why was I doing this to him, but really I think he was thanking me for giving him the best life and loving him with all my heart.
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