winstonsmom12
I had 2 very disturbing dreams last night.  They were both related.  One had Bulldogs in it.  But that was the only good part of the dream. About 15 minutes ago I went to check my mail, and a neighbor (who I often spoke to) was walking her little dog, at the same time I used to walk Winston.  She rushed up to me and said" did something bad happen?" I broke into tears and told her what happened.  She hugged me and told me how sorry she was. She had to put 2 dogs down. One of her dogs had Cushings Disease.  Vet had to come to her home. I am in the computer room now, and winstons box is sitting in the place he always laid when I was in here.  When i go into the living room, I place his box right up against the table my TV sits on where he always laid.  He is on my night table when I go to bed. makes me feel a little better to have him with me around the house. I feel my family has deserted me :(.  WHY can't they understand? My youngest daughter Never calls, and my oldest seems very annoyed when i call her.  I'm very lonely here by myself. At least I had Winston for company.  In a way I still do.  But it's just not the same.  I LOVE YOU MY BIG BOY XOXOXO MOMMY
 
Susan
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JerseyNonna
susan, ya i know what you mean about our children seeming to not call much or not seem to keep in touch after we lived our lives making sure they had all they needed plus a lot of what they wanted (or thought they needed).  i'm so sorry to hear your children have left you alone and i suppose it makes me feel in the same boat.  my daughter lives an hour and a half from where we lived together (i'm obviously still there) and i try to get up to see her and my grandson at least once a month since it is a further drive than i'm supposed to with my back as it is.  before roxie's passing she really didn't come down to visit (oh wait, she was here mother's day at least, lol) but since it seems to me that she has called more and visited more than I've gotten there.  life for the kids these days must be more hectic than it was when we were raising them cause i remember trying to get down to cape may to see my dad as much as i could especially when he got older year round since nobody living at the shore only wants family visiting during the summer.  there are so many of you here that i wished lived near me.  perhaps try to invite the kids over and just sit down and talk with them about how you feel.  maybe like i said they are just so busy with their immediate lives that everything else not directly in front of them blurs around the edges and it's not that they don't care but rather that they just don't realize how much they've withdrawn from you.  ya, my daughter gets testy sometimes when i call but it's always because lil man (who will be 3 in may) is testing that last nerve of her's and i understand and i just tell her that i called to talk with her not hear her sarcasm...heck these days if i want to hear sarcasm on a grand scale i can just talk to myself, lol.  i am so glad that Winston is back home with you at least.  in no time you will be hearing him around you and possibly seeing a shadow at his height going round a corner or out of a room/into a room and no hon you won't be crazy or seeing things.  our loved companions would never ever leave us alone without checking in on us (after all, they still are bound to us by that golden cord and the love we share together which can't ever be broken).  many many hugs to you susan and please try to take care of yourself even though i know that is easier said than done. 
JerseyNonna
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