I understand the feelings that go with that trip back to the vet to get the ashes and paw print. I didn't want to go back to the vets office again so my husband picked up my Lenny baby's ashes. I was glad that the final trip to the vet was over because I was dreading it.
I am sorry that you are going through that early miserable deep grief over the loss of your beloved Hutchy. I know how much you must miss him. Having his ashes with you is "him" but it is not the same as having your beloved baby when he was alive and active. Ashes can't fill an empty house or make that empty place in your heart go away. All I can say is that you are with people who understand your feelings and that I am very sorry for your loss.