BristolMum
Hi everyone,

I used this forum a lot a couple of years ago when I lost two dogs to cancer and one cat to a traffic accident…all within the space of about 14 months. Awful times, but everyone on here was so supportive.
On 7th Sept our gorgeous ginger Maine Coon Tank was also hit by a car. He managed to get himself home by some super cat effort, cried out horribly at the back door and then collapsed. He was my son's cat, only 8 years old and the most wonderful friend to my son. We rushed him to the vets only to get the dreaded phone call about two hours later…he had died. 
It was like having my guts and my heart ripped out all at once, and seeing our son so devastated on top has been dreadful.
Tank was the most loving, gentle, fierce, generous friend. Incredibly connected to me and my son, in particular. 
Ten days on and I feel worse than ever. The usual thing has happened - friends believe I am wallowing in my grief and should be 'over it'. I still wake up feeling sick, panicky. My son is doing better, although he says he is coping by not thinking or talking about Tank - I'm not sure this is healthy.
I am posting a photo of Tank as a kitten. I simply can't accept he is gone. He survived city life for 6 years  and then we moved to the countryside, to a quiet cul de sac and he gets hit by a car………life is cruel.
Thanks, to anyone who reads this. I just can't kick these feelings of panic and sickness, not sure what they are about. 
Also dealing with two foster children who, through no fault of their own, have no empathy and didn't care or show emotion when we told them about Tank's death.

tankjump.jpg 
J W
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Bellamum
I am so, so sorry that you have had to say goodbye to your beautiful Tank.  I know the overwhelming heartbreak that you are feeling.  You have lost a member of your family and you should not "just get over it". People who make those comments have not been as fortunate as we have.  They have not built a bond that is so deep.  We are the lucky ones. We have been privileged and blessed.
I love the action photo.  Tank is so cute.  Post some more photos when you are up to it.  I love seeing all of the dearly loved companions who are at Rainbow Bridge with my dear beagle, Bella and I know that it was comforting for me to share photos of Bella.  I felt like I was paying tribute to her.  
I agree, this site is wonderful.  People are so kind and supportive.  I am so glad I found it 5 months ago.  It has helped me cope. I come on each day to feel supported and to offer any support that I can.  
Treasure your memories in your heart...they are yours and no one can take them away from you.  I hope that soon you can remember Tank with more smiles than tears.
I wish you peace and healing.
Karen
(Bella, Charli and Buddy's very lucky mum)

My gorgeous girl, Bella  26/07/2004 - 03/04/2014
"You were once by our side, but you will be forever in our hearts. Until we meet again baby girl."
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Jinxandmatildas_mom
Just an adorable picture, I too lost my 2 kitties within the past 6 weeks, this site is helping me get thru the worst time of my life and comfort can be found here
Kathy
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mymilo
How did you deal with your loss, I just loss my puppy Milo he too git hit by a car. I cannot seem to shake this awful sadness. I can't eat I can't sleep.
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BristolMum
Hi everyone,

Thanks for your messages and kindness. To all of you, I am sorry you are going through this agony too.
Karen,  so sorry you have lost Bella. I hope you are right and some time soon there are more smiles in my life and less tears. I know you are right about that bond, and I have been able to recognise this in the past, but right now all I feel is panic and sickness, and this enormous, overwhelming grief. After 5 months I am hoping you can tell me you are having some brighter days. 
Kathy I am so sorry for your double loss…….I can imagine what you are going through. The mornings are the worst for me - getting up, remembering why I feel sick and then knowing that Tank won't be at the back door waiting for me….horrible.
MyMilo - Again, I am so sorry you have lost your puppy, and in the same way. I can't get over the fact that we live on such a quiet little cul de sac in a small village and yet Tank got hit by a car somehow. It doesn't make sense to me. He should have had years ahead of him - he was only 8 years old, in his prime.
I just worry a lot about my son and how he is dealing with the loss, and our surviving cat Austin, who was so  close to Tank in even way. 
Life just feels awful at the moment, but thanks again for your messages.
J W
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Katel
My deepest sympathies at the horrible loss of Tank, I can imagine how beautiful he was .   Do you feel like posting more pictures?   You are not wallowing in your grief, it is as real as a a physical  illness in my opinion and devastating.  Don't even bother with people who say get over it as they are not respecting you, or your grief.  Grief must take as long as it will, there is no time limit.
I have lost three beloveds fur babies in the past 2 years -   Charlotte only four months ago, and am now faced with the unbearable thought of losing my other little dog to inoperable cancer. the main comfort I get is from coming here and getting the support of some wonderful people.  they all understand here. It honestly keeps me going .
Sending you prayers and hugs

Kate 

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Charliesmommy
I'm so sorry for your loss. :(

What an awesome shot of Tank!  I love it.

I agree with the others.  This place has been great and in the two weeks that I have been here, I have found the other members to be very supportive. 

Thinking of you and your son.

hugs,
Tammy
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BristolMum
Thanks everyone,

I am feeling slightly calmer this afternoon, don't know why. Maybe its the support of lovely people on here :)
I do worry about our surviving cat, Austin - he is spending his days watching the back door, waiting, not eating much. My heart breaks again every time I see him looking out at the garden, all hopeful. 

Kate - we lost our two dogs to cancer within a year of each other, so I feel for you. Awful times, and there's nothing anyone can do. It's just so overwhelming, especially when you are dealing with more than one loss. It seemed so unfair at the time, although when I think about it now, they were both older dogs , and I think the second one died of a broken heart at the loss of the first. All these deep connections - they're so wonderful and then so painful.

Tammy - thanks, he was a stunning cat. I love the fact that he was fierce one second and a gentle baby the next. I put so much love into that little furry body, and now it's just gone, in the blink of an eye. 

Sending you all lots of hugs and warm thoughts, thank you again,

Jane 
J W
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Jimbo106

I'm very sorry about Tank. I remember back when Maisie passed, and was sorry then you had to join us. :(

Love Tank's baby picture! Is Austin also a Maine Coon?

Glad you're feeling better this afternoon, but I'm sure you remember that grief does not have a time limit and sometimes sneaks back up on us.

Hugs to you and your son.

Jim

 

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BristolMum
Hi Jim,

Thank you so much for your lovely message, it's great to hear from you again. 
Austin is a very ordinary tabby cat - ordinary to look at, but extraordinary in character (as they all are). He is an absolute dude, completely laid back but also fiercely independent. I love him to bits but he doesn't give the amazing cuddles which Tank gave - every night. 
Well, they're all so special to me and that's why I get so devastated each time I lose one. My husband thinks there is something wrong with me, he says it isn't normal. I don't know how else to be, and coming on here reassures me I am not alone in the connection I have with my animals.
I would love to hear your news - which furry friends are haring your home these days? Hope life is treating you well.
I will pass on the hugs to my son - he is coping really well - he made a memorial to Tank to put in his favourite spot in the garden, and he seems able to accept the loss in a way that is beyond me.

Very warmest wishes,

Jane 
J W
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