Knavarra
I know it's only been a day since I lost my Riley unexpectedly from a heart attack but I feel sick inside, empty and can't stop crying. Seeing the image of how we found her dead when we woke up in the morning won't erase from my head. I miss her and just want her back. I keep thinking it's a bad dream and that I will be waking up but it's not. I wanted to see if anyone had any coping ways that helped them cope or make it through 1 day to the next. If I'm not feeling bad enough, I have to watch my poor other cat suffer who was with Riley from the age of 3 months. I hate seeing her suffer too. Shes not eating much, stopped with her wet food and have been hand feeding her cookies to get something in her.Any suggestions to in helping another animal in your household deal with the loss of another animal? Lost beyond words
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PeppermintPatty
I am so sorry for your loss. I wish I had some advice for you. But, unfortunately, I am going through the same thing. Many on here are as well. Sometimes that’s enough for me — to know that while I feel lonely without my babies, I am not alone in these feelings of profound sadness and depression. In fact, I’m beginning to think that they are normal because it’s the price we pay for having loved so deeply. It’s an unconditional love like no other.

My 17 year old kitty seemed to be doing good. But now she has started crying in the middle of the night. She lost her sisters, one in August and one on New Years Day. She had been around them from the time she was a baby kitten. So I know. It’s heartbreaking, coupled with the fact that I am a tear filled mess most of the time. I am just trying to shower her with as much love as possible while my heart breaks.

Riley was a beautiful kitty. I hope my Emilee and Lara welcomed her with open paws when she got to the Bridge. I hope your other little one can bounce back from this because it is a huge loss.

Take care.
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VickyMJ
I am really sorry for your loss of beautiful Riley. The photo of him is gorgeous.

I know how you are feeling, the exact same thing happened to my lovely boy Raisin 3 months ago. Like Riley, he showed no signs of any illness, only for me to find him the next morning downstairs, passed away.

He was only 4, so not as young as Riley, but still too young. I have other cats but he was especially close to his sister Rum, they would sleep together and roll around on the floor play fighting. All I can say is just give loads and loads of love and attention to your other kitty, which I’m sure you are already doing. She is grieving like you, and hopefully with time she will start to recover slowly.

I really feel your pain, the early days especially are just unbearable, I couldn’t function, couldn’t eat or sleep or see anyone for almost 2 weeks, I was just utterly shocked and devastated and I thought I would feel like that forever, but as each day passes the pain becomes a little less raw, it’s certainly not a linear process as one day I would be coping and then the next I would be in tears all day, but gradually you will start to accept Riley isn’t here (not in physical form anyway) and things will start to get a little easier.

I still miss my boy, I always will, and there will always be a part of me missing. Some days I feel so sad and others I’m ok and you will be too. He will always be a part of you and that bond you had with him will never be broken.

Whilst you are feeling so awful, try not to look forward or back, just try and live minute by minute, I found just doing that helped a little in those early days.

I’ll tell my Raisin to look out for Riley and they can play together. I also took comfort in that Raisin didn’t have a long painful illness and although his life was cut way too short, at least it was a very happy one and the same goes for Riley.

Take care and be kind to yourself.

Xx
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September
I am so sorry. Your Riley was so beautiful. My son and his girlfriend have a rag doll, and I love being with her.  We lost our house lop bunny, Timothy, 5 months ago.  He was young too, just 3 years 8 months.  I came home from work to find him passed away on the the kitchen floor. It was also sudden and unexpected. I cannot remember those first hours at all. I have never experienced shock before, but I know that's what it was. 

I never slept at all for days. For the next few days, we just couldn't be at home. We would go out early, back home late. Everything was a blur and we were just functioning on autopilot. We laid him to rest in our garden, and I remember crying and crying that night and wanting my husband to go get him and take him back to the vets the next day so we could have him cremated. I couldn't cope with the thought of him being outside alone.

Basically, I was a crazy mess for the first couple of weeks at least. I have lost family members but I have never felt such grief and guilt. I went back to work 5 days after, which helped a tiny bit because I was with people who understood. They knew how much Timothy meant to me. They never thought of him as "just a rabbit", so I could talk about him, which also helps a lot. I would still have to take myself off sometimes for a good cry. But then there was the going home to the emptiness. And that was unbearable.

To begin with you will find every day is the same. Riley will fill your every waking thought and you feel like you are walking in a fog. Normal life is going on around you but nothing seems real. Very gradually, and it will be very gradual, there are no set time limits, you will begin to function a little bit better.  I find it helps me to sit out in the garden every morning before work (no matter what the weather is like) and talk to Tim. I close my eyes and think of him and I really feel a connection. It is 'our time'. It helps me then be able to get on with the rest my day as best I can. If you can do something like that, especially with your other kitty being there with you, it might help a little. 

I am not healed. Not in the slightest. Like VickyMJ says, a part of you goes missing forever, so you have to adjust accordingly.  I posted something about the 'the waves of grief', and the words are so true. One day you think you have turned a corner, the next you are back to square one. This isn't unusual at all.  

It will take time for your other little kitty to come to terms with this too, but I have no doubt you will help each other through this.  Probably speak to your vet if you think she is really struggling and not eating properly. 

Thinking of you.  Take care.

Lynda




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"The pain I feel now is the happiness I had before. That's the deal"      C.S. Lewis
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Chinadoll
I'm so sorry for your sudden loss of Riley, it can be devastating, no time to prepare. The first few weeks and months are the hardest, just take it one hour at a time, it will ease up slowly. I can tell you some of the things that helped me. I started a journal, wrote down how I was feeling, wrote to my dear fur angel, wrote down all the happy memories I had, all the fun and silly things they did, I even wrote down the daily routine. I knew that as time would go by I might forget some of these things and so I wanted a way to remember them no matter how much time went by. I talked out loud daily to them, I made a little memorial for them on a shelf in the house, I lit candles on Sunday morning to honor and be with them. I came to this forum for help almost daily, read other people's entries. All of this seemed to help me and I still write entries in my journal a year later, just not every day, and I still light my candles on Sunday, it gives me a little peace. The grief far exceeded anything I imagined and in time I learned to accept it, to understand why it was so difficult. This type of bond is not like anything else we experience, it is unique, it is difficult to express in words but it is real. I pray for peace in the coming times for you, and I do believe we will all be reunited again one day. Riley lives in your heart forever, his spirit is eternal, he is always with you.
Charlie
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Knavarra
Lynda,
Thank you for ur words. I'm sorry to hear about ur Tim. Those rabbits are georgous. I'm glad to know all these feelings I'm feeling are normal and everyone has gone through them or are going through them now. I would like to say after day 2, my crying is done, I can't cry no more tears and got a little appeitate back so I guess that is good. My Gabby, other cat started to eat a little more today too. I guess I'm slowly facing reality now which hurts like heck. It's funny but Sunday is all a blur, only the bad from my husband yelling Riley is dead and me jumping up from bed and seeing her dead. In those moments I too felt like I was going to pass out and had to lay back down for a second to catch my breath. I would love to see a picture of Tim. Thank u for ur comforting words and sharing ur stories and ferlings.
Kim
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Knavarra
Thank u chinadoll for sharing what helped you cope and for sharing ur story. I happened to come across this site Sunday night but glad I did. I find reading everyone else's stories and hearing how they are feeling, and responding back, has comforted me and soothed me in some strange way. I will try a journal and will add pictures to it. I think it will be hard at first because it will make me face reality my Riley is gone and not coming back. I scream everyday in pain saying I just want my Riley back. I know eventually it will get easier to cope.

Kim
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September
Hello Kim

Hope you are continuing to feel a bit better. Don't worry if you have the occasional meltdown day. It happens sometimes. It still happens to me a lot. Here is my little bundle of fluff and you can see why this is breaking my heart. He loved to sleep like this and it shows he felt safe and happy. "Flop and drop" we called it. 

All the best
Lynda

Timothy x.jpg
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"The pain I feel now is the happiness I had before. That's the deal"      C.S. Lewis
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lucky11
When you endure pet loss there are no words or comfort to describe how you feel I lost my lucky many years ago even today  I sense he is with me often there are signs sometimes i feel his warmth almost as if he was sitting next to me which he very often did  it made me feel comforted . Time can be a healer you will never forget your beloved pet i will never forget my lucky one day we will meet over the rainbow bridge wait for me my prince we will be together one day you are always in my thoughts today tomorrow and always xx
s robinson
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Knavarra
Lynda,

Thanks. Mornings and nights are hard as she sat with me when i worked out and at night she slept with my kids and in the mornings would wake me up. Ur Tim was quite adorable he looks like one big fluff ball that u could cuddle with. He looks like the size of my Riley. She was 15 pounds the females got to be that big for ragdolls. Did u train him to use a litter box or was he always out in ur room when u tattoo is. Did u ever have the heart to get a new flop and give the love to a new one?
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September
Hello Kim. I know what you mean about the routine. I would have time with him in the morning before work, preparing his veg and stuff and then we would go out in the garden. He was really more like a cat or a dog. He followed me everywhere. Gaining the trust of a bunny takes time, they are prey animals and timid by nature. But Timothy was so domesticated, with such a personality. He had a home in our garage, with a connecting door into the kitchen which we left open so he had the run of that while we were at work. When we were home, he was free to go wherever he wanted. I could never cage him or even put him in a pen. He would use a litter tray exactly like a cat. Even if he was outside, he would still go back inside to use his tray. . And god forbid if it wasn't exactly in the right place! He would get it in his teeth and throw it around. He was such a character and I will never stop missing him.

I know getting another bun would help but I am so scared of having to go through this again. I have never felt such grief. I'm still struggling and it's been over 5 months. I've lost my dad and grandparents and parents in law, but they were old and sick, and we had time to prepare ourselves. With their loss, I was able to find closure and acceptance over a short space of time. I thought that was what grief was. Until we lost Timothy. We sort of got Timothy by 'accident', he belonged to my oldest son and his girlfriend but their work circumstances changed so they couldn't give him the time he needed. We weren't looking for a pet, and certainly not a rabbit. But I can't believe the joy he brought to us and I would not change one single minute of it. I think if we had another bunny, he would find us, rather than us go looking for him. Every morning I hope to find an abandoned bunny on my doorstep! That would be the answer.

My son's rag doll is called Popcorn. She looks a lot like your Riley, same colouring, same size. They have such pretty faces too. We are going to spend a week with her soon while they go on vacation, so that will help me a little, having another bundle of fluff to play with.

I hope the days get easier for you and that Gabby is doing OK. It will take time and you will have good days and bad days. Mine still fluctuate between the two on a daily basis and I've accepted that's how it's going to be for a long time.

You can message me whenever you want if you are having a bad day. I understand.

Take care
Lynda
X

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"The pain I feel now is the happiness I had before. That's the deal"      C.S. Lewis
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xoostation
I wish I knew how to cope. I just lost my 17 year old bestie, and I don't know if I'll ever get over it. I quit my job over it due to the lack of empathy. My life is forever changed. For me, I just sit in her room a lot. Yes she had her own little room, I spoiled her rotten. I talk about the good times. I look at pictures from when she was a pup, and was in her prime. Honestly, take comfort in the other kitty. You guys can grieve together. And take comfort in eachother. She might not be eating because she senses your grief as well.

Maybe volunteer at a shelter or donate to a no kill shelter in her name. 

All I know for sure about grief is that time heals.... And everyone does it in their own way and time.
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Knavarra
Thanks Lydna. I'm just so happy that I found all of u nice people on here and even though nobody knows anyone, I feel u get to know everyone through their stories and the same pain and emotions everyone is feeling
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Trajan50
Hi, Knavarra:  When I lost my Mr. Big, I too had another cat who was clearly lonely it seems.

I waited about 2 weeks and then I adopted another cat so they could be together too.

I would recommend you do the same, it really helped me and BooBoo out big time.

Take care.
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Trajan50
"It will take time for your other little kitty to come to terms with this too, but I have no doubt you will help each other through this.  Probably speak to your vet if you think she is really struggling and not eating properly."

I feel it's best to adopt another kitty of approximately the same age as the surviving kitty.  I think it's important they have kitty companionship.  My 2 cents, anyway.
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