Faye11
3 months ago I lost one of my cats. She was the sensible one, she didn't play she would never be dirty she was like a typical lady. Then one day we opened the door to let her out and within 30 seconds she was gone. It was the worst site I have ever seen and I can't get the image or the sound of the cat hitting her out of my head.

I have learned to live without her but I am overcome with anxiety for my remaining cat. We have moved house somewhere safer, I didn't let her out for over a month till we had moved, and even now we are in a safer area I haven't let her out of my site since. My other half is getting fed up as I will spend hours outside trying to keep her with me, I will stay pressed against the window to check she's not in the road, I shake I can't focus on anything and if my partner try's to tear my attention away I get angry where I am so worked up.

I know I can't be like this for the rest of my cats life and I know I have to give her freedom to be a cat but I just can't control my anxiety and panic attacks as soon as she steps foot outside. I'm going to end up loosing my partner over this. What do I do?

I feel like if I gave her some space that something will happen and it would be all my fault for not being with her.
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William
Hi
I'm so sorry for the tragic loss of you cat. I think it's a chance we take anytime we let a pet out loose. Where i live not too many cats roam outside due to cayote. I remember growing up cats and dogs were all out running around.
I don't mean to sound silly but can a cat be put on a leash of some sort? Let it in and out just at intervals? Eventually would it get used to being inside more?

As far as the tragic loss, of course you are anxious. You watched someone you love be taken from you. In time, if your other cat remains safe, hopefully those memories will fade a bit and not be so strong in your mind.
If you continue to have issues with anxiety perhaps you could meet with a counselor for a chat. It can't hurt.

You need to do what you need to do. I would hope your partner loves you enough to understand you are having an emotional time.

I wish you peace and anxiety free days.
Sorry for your loss.
Kim
Kim
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Faye11
Hi

Unfortunately my partner no longer understands. They dealt with me for 3 months at the old house and put up with me not letting her out having constant panic attacks if she went anywhere near the door. but one of the things I promised was that I would be so much better here.

We are at the end of a close and every one of the street seems to have a cat. There's less cars and should be just generally safer. I was sure this would cure all my anxiety but it hasn't.

My partner can't understand when my cat is crying at the door why I don't just let her out. For 5 years we had a cat flap and she was in and out all day and all night and I didn't give a second thought to it. We argue daily about it I dread coming home in the evening and having to let her go out or getting up in the morning and letting her out for the toilet but my partner disagrees to having a litter tray saying I am just making my anxiety worse by giving myself a options to not let her go out.

i used to go to councilling before and I am afraid I have exhausted all types available to me in the past so have no help there.
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William
Hi
It sounds very stressful. Do you know there's a chat room you can go into at nigh? There are people to help and suggest things.
Mayb someone has something to offer you as far as suggestions.
Kim
Kim
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