Pls dont judge. My baby is dying and suffering at this very moment.

I just got back home from overseas work 2 months ago and from the original 4 dogs we had in the house, we now have an additional one, Tui-tui, who doesnt recognize me yet.
Since I arrived, i was focused on getting the attention of tuitui so he’ll learn to trust me. I didn’t notice that one of my dogs has been desperate for my attention too, we call her Baby.

Just a short backstory, Baby hasn’t showered for years, along with 3 other dogs except our labrador who has always been easy to deal with. My parents had been busy with our little shop for their living and both cannot control the dogs as much as i do. Not one of the dogs were spayed or neutered so most of the time it’s chaos. I’ve got two males and three females. Since the 3 girls started fighting, we’ve always separated them gave them a shifting pattern of freedom from their cages so they can play outside alternately. And because my dad has been very cautious to not trigger their fear/anger as he was already bitten 2x, he never provoked them with a shower unless im around. Still, we love our dogs its just that we’re not well-off financially to set aside money for our dogs’ special needs.

Since i came back, i’ve played and cuddles with all of my dogs but not too much with Baby as she stinks. And because of this, i was so adamant to change their bath habits. I’ve bathed baby every other day as she had mange and bald spots on her body. But unlike the rest of them, I didn’t get to cuddle baby as much as she always smells foul, to which i attribute to her mange and lack of grooming.
I’ve said to her on several occasions that Im not going to play with her coz she stinks and im not going to miss her because she smells terribly.

Little did i know that the smell was coming from a vaginal discharge which i only noticed 2 months later. I have never given her attention and so by the time we noticed, she already had severe pyometra. Surgery was the only option. As I said, we’re not financially capable. We do have extra money at the time, but the memory of being cash-strapped was very fresh and we didn’t want to “waste” money for surgery nor putting her down. It’s not really a waste but we reallt need the money to pay for rent, bills, food, and debt.

And so currently, Baby is dying and suffering and struggling. We’ve been to the vets and while i was there, i thought i decided to give medications a go as she’s still eating and seems to be fighting. And just a day later, she’s started to refuse food and is in terrible shape.

Over the last couple of days i’ve been guilt-ridden when i could have spent that money we used for her meds towards her putting to sleep. She’s in all lot of pain right now and her stomach is starting to swell. We’ve stopped all her antiinfectives today and been only giving her pain meds but I doubt its of any use. My dad’s been assisting her when she wants to crawl towards her litter place in the garden while I keep her comfortable as much as I could.

We are currently struggling now as a family, especially me, who during the last few weeks, have neglected her over the others. I know she’s dying and struggling and I am doing nothing to ease it.

I’ve spent all day with her today and told her how sorry I was for being unfair to her which wasn’t her fault. I just wish she doesn’t have to struggle for too long. I only hope God give her a quick and painless death. I’m so sorry my Baby. We really really love you. You’ve been such a good girl. You will be MISSED.
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My Dear caibaby,

I’m sorry your Baby is so very ill. It’s good that she knows you love her but she has obviously been suffering terribly for weeks if not months as I also heard you mention ‘mange’. It is not okay to do nothing.

I do understand that financially you can’t help her and I’m sorry for that but you need to immediately reach out to someone who can. You would need to let them know you will “surrender her” but if she is going to die anyway then it’s the best thing to do at this point.

Try googling “dog rescues” in your area. Just call and explain the situation. I believe that most vets would have put to sleep (or even try and try and help her) if you surrender her there as well.

So: try googling Rescue dogs groups in your area, if you have no luck call vets’ offices and explain that your dog is very ill and suffering but you are not in a position financially to look after her or even pay to have her put to sleep but because you love her so much you are willing to surrender her if they will just help her - even if that means having her put to sleep.

Please act quickly! This little dog, Baby has only you to help her and sadly she could suffer a lot more before she dies. It needs to be about what’s best for her now although it will be heartbreaking for you I understand but at least you won’t have to live with the memory of her suffering and taking a long time to die.
It would really be the most loving thing you could do for your beloved Baby. You are not being judged at all my dear. It’s very obvious how much you love her but you are simply unable to look after her. Please “act as quickly as possible” and post an update.
God bless!!!
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redgirlraven had a hotline you can call if you want to talk to someone.  They ar there to help you through this process. they are for the pet parents of very sick or terminal pets. When I was grieving I used both sites, this one and daybyday
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