CalumsMommy
Hello,
I am in a terrible state of mind lately with the loss of my sweet baby boy. I am also struggling with some big decisions related to his passing at this time, which is compounding my pain immensely. I have two other doggies, a rabbit, and a teenager especially who I should be finding joy in and with. Sometimes I just cannot. When I
Find rays of joy, I feel guilty for being a bit happier for those few moments.

Is anyone else struggling with this type of thing? Or is anyone able to find the joy in those that surround us still?

I feel like an awful mom times two for not being able to stay in the present with the rest of those who need me, and extra selfish and weird for wishing that my little guy and I could be together now or at the Bridge. I honestly don't care most hours of the day if only could be with him again. My heart would feel whole. The world might look a lot brighter than it does right now. It is just terrible and I'm not one to usually think this way for this long.

I just would like to hear how others are getting through their new reality and if they are able to still find love in where and who they are with :-) I just cannot right now.:-((((

Thank you!
Calum's Mommy Forever <3 
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Camiz
Hi Calumsmom

I am so sorry for your loss and believe me so many times in the past week had that question crossed my mind, is my Zoey just waiting for me on the other side? I just lost her a week ago tonight and the pain is fresh.

I too have a son, a loving husband, 3 cats and 2 little puppies but there is nothing to fill the void that Zoey left behind after being in my life for the past 13 years. I too worry if sweet Zoey is able to fend for herself where she may be now because the younger ones had been her protectors here on earth. She had that kind, gentle soul.

During the times that I talk to my husband about death, he asked me gently, respecting my grief, what about the people and creatures who are still alive? I should still allow myself to enjoy them. I know it will take some time, but we need to take solace and comfort from those around us.

Your pain is as much our pain here in this forum, having loved so deeply and lost, but please do not wish of crossing over the bridge before the right time as I am sure Calum wants you to take care of the siblings left behind. Please let us share the burden with you.

Yours in grief and comfort,
N
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jimmy17
Hi CalumsMommy, I know exactly what you mean. We lost Jim just over 8 weeks ago, and everything just seemed to lose any meaning. Yes, he was 17, and really not unexpected - but he was our baby ( no kids or other animals).  I too worried about how he`s coping, would he be looking for us and feeling lost?  About 4 weeks after losing him, I started accepting the fact he was no longer with us, and thinking that he has now `cast off` his little old body, and is now running free over the Bridge, where I am sure he`s enjoying himself with all our previous pets, and that we will see him again one day.

 I feel grateful for the 17 years we had with him - good years, he was a rescue dog, and I am sure he would thank me and my husband for all the love we gave him, just as we loved him so very much.     You are in no way selfish or weird, you are just grieving - we all do it differently, we all have different timescales, and you WILL get there eventually. Calum would want you to enjoy your family and other animals, and give each of them a little extra love from him. I found ( and still do ), a lot of comfort from being on this wonderful forum - we`re all here for each other - and the sense of solidarity is amazing.

        Sending you peace and hugs, Jackie. x 

 
J Taylor
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DaniC
Hi CalumsMommy,

I'm so terribly sorry for your painful loss.  I experienced the same type of situation back in September when I had to say goodbye to my beautiful Lab/Shepard that had been with me for 9 years.  I simply could not face the pain and the darkness.  Six weeks later, I adopted a 10-year old Dachschund/Beagle mix.  I would not have made it through the grieving process without her.  I'm not sure we ever 'finish' grieving, but it takes on new shapes and perspectives over time.

Someone posted this article yesterday (sorry, can't remember who - dang this thing I call a memory).  I found the information in the article extremely helpful.  So many things that I can relate to. 

I hope this link works!  

http://www.petlosshelp.org/10commonquestions.html

Your little guy looks so cute.  Would you like to tell us about him?  Perhaps some stories from happier times if it would help you to feel a bit better.

Take good care of yourself,
DaniC
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sdgolden
You are not being a bad mommy.  I am going through the same thing too.  I just lost my baby girl but I still have several of her pups (they are 7 years old now) that I am mommy to also.  I know they are hurting too, and my Rock Star just wanders the house looking for his mom.  Sit on the floor with your babies and just love the stuffing out of them is how I am coping right now. 
Susy Golden
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deereay33
I found that pet loss link very good. I struggle hugely with my decision of euthanasia for my very sick lab of 13 who had lymphoma. But i do know i freed him of his misery in doing so.

my grief has made me push my husband away as he feels none of my despair. Jonah was my dog long before i met my husband. He loved him but has instantly moved on, getting annoyed at me and one of my children who feel the loss so profoundly. As a result ive withdrawn from him in every way. Have no idea how to reverse this.
Dee
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