Our 10 year old German Shepherd, Jasmine, died this morning.  She was blind and mostly deaf, but had been doing pretty well until yesterday, when she seemed to be not feeling like her usual self, but nothing dramatic.  This morning, she could not walk on her back legs, was incontinent, and when I got her to the vet, she had a fever of 105.  The vet thought she had a tumor, sepsis, and/or embolism to the spine, and felt it was best to stop her suffering and let her go, so I did.  She was shivering and breathing hard, and seemed to be in so much distress, and I couldn't let her suffer.  I held her on my lap and told her what a good girl she was, and that I loved her.  She went very easily and quickly.

We adopted Jasmine from our shelter, just two weeks before Zoe.  She was around 4 years old, maybe older, and was so scared and skinny.  She flinched every time we petted her, and lost her mind with joy when we fed her, so we figured she had not been treated that well, maybe even hit.  We gave her lots of love and attention, and she blossomed, gaining weight, and eventually accepting hugs and kisses, and allowing us to pet her all over.

We found that she had chronic otitis, was very hard of hearing, and took her to an ENT vet for care.  We also found out that she loved to play frisbee, and would do so for hours at a time.  It was a thing of beauty to see her run, leap in the air, and make a spectacular catch.  We called her "thunder paws."  One day about 2 1/2 years ago, I took her out in the yard and threw the frisbee, and she didn't run.  I tossed it to her face, and it bounced right off her.  I immediately took her to the vet and Jasmine was 100% blind.  She had a rare condition called Sudden Acute Retinal Degeneration.  It was difficult for her to adjust to being blind, but we did everything we could to help her.  Eventually, she returned to going for walks, and we figured out a way to play soccer with her.    

About a year later, one of her ears developed complications from the chronic otitis and she had to have surgery to remove her middle ear area, so she was completely deaf on that side.  
She could still hear a little on the other, and would jump up when I would lean over and say, Jasmine, you want to go OUT?!

I will miss my sweet girl so much, but she went through so many challenges that we did not want her to suffer one minute longer in this life.  It's just a real kick to the head to lose two dogs in less than two weeks and I am just reeling.  I almost feel like I have pissed off something in the universe to have to lose two wonderful girls in such a short time.  

I will create Jasmine's memorial soon and hope you all can visit both her and Zoe.  I will never forget either one of them, loved them so much, and will miss them every day. Jasmine.jpg 
Carole, Mom to Zoe, who crossed the bridge on 7/5/18, Jasmine, who crossed on 7/14/18, and Layla, on 12/1/18, all will forever be in my heart, and ongoing mom to Roxie.
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Dear Carole,
I am so, so sorry for the loss of your beautiful Jasmine, such a beautiful photo of her, a sweet face with such beautiful markings.
I can't even begin to imagine the pain and shock you must be in, to lose Jasmine while your heart is still so broken over the loss of your Zoe only 9 days earlier, to suffer two losses of such beautiful and valued members of your family in such a short time, I am so sorry you are having to go through such a thing.
Sending positive, healing thoughts your way, may the love and light that is your Zoe and Jasmine always be felt so deeply in your heart, bringing with their love, the peace and healing you so deserve.
Sincerely, Don & Vera

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Carole, that is just devastating.  Your poor heart must be in shreds to lose them so close together. I can't even imagine all your pain.

I wish you every comfort, though realizing at first it is very hard to find any relief whatsoever. 

My heart goes out to you and I wish you much peace and healing in the coming days. I hope it helps a bit to come here and write and to know you're not alone.
-Missing Marissa deeply
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Carole, you have my heartfelt condolences. Jasmine is so beautiful, and you two loved one another dearly.

It seems that you know that the pain in your heart has rescued Jasmine from feeling any more pain herself, and now, she is resting in true peace.

Honestly, I admire and respect you for the love, patience, nurturing, and over all depth of care you gave Jasmine and your other beloved dog, Zoe. I read your memorial to Zoe and while I have cried reading many stories, I was flooded with tears reading about the life you shared. I will leave you a note there, but wanted to do so here as well. It's been a while since my little love, Twirlie, died of pancreatic cancer, but I still drop by the forum, and once in a while, I post, and this is one of those times. You must be such a kind, gentle soul, a perfect match for Jasmine and Zoe, in every way. You were their dog whisperer.

To you, I give my heart today. There are people out here in this vast world who care, and I want you to know that I am one.
Grace xo

"Now that the time has come
 Soon gone is the day,
 There upon some distant shore
 You will hear me say,
 Long as the day in the summer time
 Deep as the wine-dark sea,
 I'll keep your heart with mine
 Till you come to me"  (LM)

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Don & Vera, Catie, and Grace, thanks so much for your kind words.  Reading your words, Grace, I realized that I had thought that all I had done for Zoe and Jasmine were failures because of the end results.  I now know I need to understand that every effort, every vet visit, every training, every medication, every hug and kiss, EVERYTHING was a positive thing.  It was all done with love, no matter how it ended.  I did truly love my girls and everything was worth the efforts I gave.  Even yesterday at the vet, when I got Jasmine there, my mindset was to do anything to keep her alive.  As I sat with her in the room, and understood how sick she was, even though I was not ready to live without her, I knew that I would be doing it for me, not for her.  She needed to go, and I had to be self less, and let her go.  It was the same with Zoe, holding on to her much longer than I probably should have, at the expense of others, and her own happiness.  I'm doing a lot of reflection today as I grieve for my girls, and I am so grateful to have Roxie and Layla with me for comfort.  I am thankful to have had Zoe and Jasmine as long as I did, and will treasure the memories of the good times.
Carole, Mom to Zoe, who crossed the bridge on 7/5/18, Jasmine, who crossed on 7/14/18, and Layla, on 12/1/18, all will forever be in my heart, and ongoing mom to Roxie.
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