MaxsMom2
My partner has barely cried for our 14year old Max baby who passed 9 days ago. He has stuffed and repressed his feelings. I can’t speak about Maxs memories or grieve him in his presence without him telling me to stop or him walking away. He goes into his office and hides from me, to avoid my depression and grieving. Max is my son, my baby, I can’t stop my grieving or my depression because of how badly I miss him. I understand people grieve differently but his irritability and anger over repressing his feelings are being taken out on me. The loss of my baby was badly enough, his reaction on top of it makes this loss that much more unbearable. Sorry for rambling. I’ll talk to my therapist tomorrow about all of this. 
Laraine Esposito 
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Memories_of_Marmalade
Dear Laraine,

This is more common that one would think. I am sorry for your Max and your and partner's loss. 

I actually had to eventually stop talking / communicating with everyone I knew about my own beloved's passing. They simply could not process my grief. So I came here to the Rainbow Bridge forum instead to grieve with those who were understanding, compassionate, supportive and gracious. It was a Godsend to me.

I hope you continue to heal-up. We are with you in comradeship and spirit.

Kind regards & my sincerest condolences,
James
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Monroegirl
I'm so sorry to hear that. It's so true that this forum is a wonderful place to express all that you want or need about your baby Max. Take care of yourself.
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MaxsMom2
Thankyou Monnie& Thankyou James. I’m so grateful to have this support and empathy from rainbow bridge. I don’t know that I’ve properly grieved this loss. It’s severely traumatic. I think processing this trauma will be a long road. I haven’t cried in two days after crying non stop for 7 days. I feel guilty going about my day, functioning, leaving the house and enjoying the outdoors.Its survivors guilt that I’m living and he’s gone, he was unfairly taken from me and no matter what I do all I can think is that I want him back. I really can’t picture the rest of my life without his presence, I would give anything to have my son back. There’s a part of me that thinks I’m starting to think he’s boarding at one of his dog sitters long term and that he will be back. I can’t put his beds away or wash them. But I did put the last two blankets that smell like him in huge plastic zip bags so that they don’t loose his smell. Rambling again on here. 
Laraine Esposito 
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Monroegirl
It's so very difficult. I lost my kitty last month and miss her so much. She was like a daughter to me....she was my girl for 20 years. The time we have with them is never long enough. (((Hugs)))
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BorderCollieLover
Laraine:

  I want to extend my sympathies on the loss of your beloved Max. As James has previously said, people not grieving (spouses, family members, friends, co-workers, etc.) after a loss is a fairly common things. As you stated, your partner has not cried or showed any outward emotion in (14) days. When people repress their emotions, it's only a matter of time before these painful thoughts come to the forefront. They have to be expressed in some way, shape or form. I hope that you are able to reach some common ground with your partner and allow him to grieve on his own terms. When he is ready, there will be an outpouring of feelings - with possibly more crying than you are doing now. Personally, I had to give certain people in my life a forgiveness pass when my dog passed last September. These were people who I thought would mourn my loss by calling me, sending an e-mail or sympathy card, etc. Many wouldn't even acknowledge my dog's passing. It hurt - and it hurt bad. I was angry, bitter and confused. I then came to the realization that all this anger would consume me and make things worse. I made the decision to forgive each and every one. Know what happened? It lifted a great burden off my shoulders. I didn't let them off the hook - I let myself off the hook. It did work wonders (took some time but it worked. No quick fix here). I tried to focus on all the wonderful people (there were many) who supported me instead of concentrating on the ones who didn't. I felt better. The healing process was kicked into full gear. It's been (8) months now and I still miss my dog dearly but my emotions have healed. They are balanced now. This took a long time but I know I made the right decision. I hope you can extend a forgiveness pass to your partner. Hopefully, he will come around in time and you two can have an honest, open dialogue about what Max meant to you both. It could be very cathartic. I wish you much luck on your healing journey. 

Warmest regards,
Jim
Jim Miller
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