msk
First time poster here. I wish things turned out differently and I didn't have to register, but after reading through other posts and how supportive this forum is, I am glad that I found this place.

Winston was our four-year-old lovebird. She was my wife's (then girlfriend's) idea to get. I was the one who picked her up, though. She was the only one left in her flock, and we thought that abandonment might have shaped her personality. She took a while to warm up to us. She was scared of fingers for the longest time. She favored me and tried to chase away my wife when we got too affectionate. We were told Winston was a male (hence the name), but after two years, she began laying eggs and we realized that wasn't the case! She had already gotten used to her name, so she kept being Winston. Over time, she let me hold her in my hands. She perched on our shoulders, grooming herself and us. She slept on our shoulders, knowing she was safe. At the very end, she even started to let my wife hold her.

On Monday, I got the horrifying phone call from my wife. I was in a different city for work, and had been living there for several months. I had plans to move back home soon, and had immediate plans to go home in 48 hours for the July 4 holiday. On the phone, my wife was beside herself. She had tried to prevent Winston from flying into a large trunk and making a nest. It was something Winston liked to do in drawers, boxes, and other hiding spaces. My wife thought she could hold Winston back and slam the heavy trunk lid, but Winston flew for the opening and was crushed to death.

Obviously, I feel angry. I feel like something was stolen from me. I'm not necessarily angry at my wife--even though I feel she was careless and I will always remember what she did. It's just terrible to know that a two-second lapse in judgment took away my best friend. In a way, I was dreading this day. We wanted Winston to be happy, which meant we let her out of her cage frequently. We didn't clip her wings, so she was free to fly. I was plenty nervous about her getting injured in a cabinet or flying into the oven or escaping through a crack, and I did everything I could to watch her. I know my wife thought she did too; but I'm not shocked that it happened on her watch.

In her words to me, she forgot that Winston was so fragile. I get it. We treated her so much like a person--more intelligent than an average pet--that we thought she could look out for herself. But to me, she was always a baby and the fact that I couldn't protect her is devastating.

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Memories_of_Marmalade

Dear MSK,

I am so sorry to learn of the loss of Winston. She certainly was a true beauty and you can clearly see the "awareness" she had in her eyes. And she appears happy in the photo you shared with us. Thank you for sharing her and your story and for adopting her when you did. You can easily see how much you loved, adored, cherished & enjoyed her presence in your life.

Unfortunately "Freak accidents" happen all the time in life, as you well know. Sadly, many who post here and share their stories here on this forum, have also experienced such mind-numbing and often shocking tragedies. It is truly one of the worse kinds of grief you can experience. Again, I am so, so sorry you are having to endure what you going through.

I had to put my beloved cat "Marmalade" to sleep 7 weeks ago yesterday. I began taking care of him 4.2 years ago as a stray / feral cat, 850 miles away in the high desert country of New Mexico, and brought him back with me to Los Angeles, Ca. I formally adopted him and he stayed indoors with me (other than on occasion going outdoors with me escorting him) around 2.6 years ago. He was my best friend, my son, my brother, my amigo, my comrade in arms and my ONLY remaining family. He was the light in my life.

The entire time I knew him he was chronically ill and I worried about him. But I also worried about his safety ALL THE TIME. The constant potential of him being injured, including critically, the ENTIRE time we were together. As tough as cats and dogs can be, like birds, they ARE FRAGILE. Marmalade easily used up his 9 Lives twice times over! Including directly in front of me and I also critically injured him by accident twice. It happens in life. Unavoidable accidents. They just come out of nowhere. : /

Hopefully, as you recover, the memories you will mostly recall will only be your fondest and happiest ones of your beloved Winston.

Kind regards,
James
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Jan_H
I am so sorry for you and your wife and your little buddy Winston. It was a tragic accident and I am sure you and your wife feel awful. I know you gave Winston a great and loving home. I think it is wonderful that you did not clip her wings and allowed her to fly. I've never had a bird and I know people do it to keep them safe, but I hate seeing a bird in a little cage with clipped wings unable to fly. Birds fly and you allowed Winston to enjoy flight. You gave her a home and showed her kindness when she was the last bird chosen. She learned to trust you and that makes the relationship that much more special.

My condolences,
Jan
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Doxiemom
Sincere condolences to you both on the loss of your sweet Winston. I can’t imagine how difficult this must be for you both. I lost my boy six weeks ago and although I am better I have some real moments of grief ( like today for some reason when I remembered how much he loved chopped apple pieces ). The sadness comes from nowhere , it will take time to heal but in spirit he will always be with you❤️
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Jcunnane
Hi MSK,

I’m so sorry for the loss of your beloved Winston. I love the pink in beak. Her colors are beautiful.

Like everyone is saying freak accidents happen and I can understand your anger with your wife but I’m sure she feels awful. I had an experience with my baby boy, Bubby (ginger tabby cat) who go sick in 2014 from a careless mistake my husband made. Bubby and his sister Lola are indoor kitties. My husband decided to take Bubby outside one day and let him walk around. It was cold and snowy and the snow was melting. Bubby walked in a puddle. He had mud on his paws so we got him inside and washed them off in the tub. He hated the tub. Well sadly we didn’t get all the mud and he got a parasite that made him have non regenerative anemia. His red blood count should have been between 35-55. He was at 11 after we rushed him to the animal hospital from our primary vet. He required a double blood transfusion, countless tests and procedures then finally the scope in his belly found the parasite. I was so angry at my husband for taking him outside and letting him walk around. I still have a bit of anger but I had to put that aside.

Sadly Bubby lost his endless battle on June 13th from chronic kidney disease/renal failure. He also had bladder stone surgery in 2017. He was my warrior amongst so many other things. He was my son, my love, my comfort, my hero. I can keep going.

So I get it. It’s horrible and it was a freak accident. Like you said we think of this animals as humans. But in the end they’re animals. They don’t live nearly as long as us and we domesticate them. I’m not sure if Bubby would have survived in the wild with his bad kidneys. At least we know we gave them good loving lives for the time we had them. Bubby would have been 10 this July. I feel robbed. I feel like he was robbed. I feel like Lola, his littermate, was robbed. But in the end what happened happened. He was sent to me for a reason like Winston was sent to you. To show us unconditional love.

I and others welcome you here even though none of us want to be here. We feel your pain. We know the grief and sadness. We’re here for you.

Sending you tons of hugs,
Jackie

Bubby's (Milo) Mommy - Always & Forever My Little Man 💜

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GREGG
so sorry about Winston. god bless ya'll.rip winston
WILLIAM G. LAWSON
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JJHolmes
That is a beautiful bird and she has a cheery little face. I am so sorry for the devastating loss of your Winston. It had to have been quite traumatic for your wife to witness the accident and know in a split second it was bad judgment on her part, as well as the bird's. Accidents happen. The bird had a part in this accident, also. I hope your wife isn't being too hard on herself. Hope you aren't hard on her, either. I'm sure you are both going through all the emotions and feelings that such a loss brings about. It takes time to grieve a loss. Give each other support, and record the memories each of you have of your precious Winston. The day will come when you can read those memories and smile together. Until then, stick around and grieve with all of us here as we give each other support.
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redgirlraven
I know what is to be away for work and have the person you share your life with not be as careful with your beloved pet as you would have been.  I suffer with this guilt as well for leaving my pet.  Please try and forgive yourself so you can forgive your wife.
AR
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