Spark

My husband and I have no children so our sweet kitty of 16 years was our baby.  Warm affectionate and smart this loss pain is unbearable. 
   How do you move through this ?  What helps? I cry and I think I see him     Any advise?    I

 

Quote 0 0
Trish777
We are in a similar position - we lost our special angel three days ago.  We don't have any children either and the loss has been devastating.  It gets better as each day goes by but we lost our other 'angel' in August last year so we are now completely alone.  Everywhere we look in the house we see our angel.  I have placed a soft teddy bear where she used to sleep (she usually slept all day) and that has helped me enormously because I am not looking at an empty space and I now say good morning and good night to the bear which is helping me to move on.  We are now looking at getting two more cats as the house seems to empty - it is perhaps a bit too early but I think two more pudditats will fill the emptiness and make our house a home again.  

I hope this helps in your hour of need - its so incredibly hard.  You feel guilty, you sometimes feel you let them down but most of all you feel emptiness and sadness I never thought possible.  Hang in there it does get better.
Quote 0 0
Spark
Thank you!  I’m going to do this. Put something we’re he laid. I always called our cat our angel.    It’s is so much harder than I ever thought.   
Quote 0 0
Pisiciul
Dear Spark and dear Trish777,

I feel your pain. It's like I read my own story somehow. We lost our one and only furry child 2 weeks ago. The house has never been this empty and silent. It's unbearable and the whole pandemic lockdown doesn't help. 

These are the few things that help me everyday. It's not much of a help, but they make a little difference.

It helps me to think my boy is sleeping in the other room, no matter in which room I am at the moment. I just think it's all so silent because he's sleeping. Then it helps me not to see his toys or beds, but I kept only 3 items that he was very fond of, thinking he might need those in case he's still here with me. Then it helps to be here and try to reply to other's messages. Giving advice is actually the way I receive the same advice. I also send him letters on my own topic. Then... it helps to trust my boy that he will come back to me one day, in any form he wants and then I will know it's him. Not now, but later. And mommy will know.

Please stay strong. Hugs.
Pisiciul
Quote 0 0
Spark
Such beautiful advice.  I’m going to use that.  This lockdown makes it worse.  I was thinking. So nice to sit with kitty and watch TV or read.   But ...  thank you.  
Quote 0 0
Trish777
Many years ago (14) I suffered the same thing losing my boy at 17 years old.  Within a week I had obtained two more Siamese cats - one boy and one girl.  I will never forget my first cat and I even have a picture on my key ring but the difference two more cats made to the feel of the house was amazing.  The house feels empty at the moment as there are no puddtats and everywhere I look there are reminders of Meisha.  We feel bereft, the emptiness is the worst thing and of course you miss brushing them, caring for them, even giving them medication at certain times of the day - the hole is massive - sometime soon when this virus thing is all over I am going out there and finding another couple of fur babies to love and cherish as every day is special and my house is not a home unless there is at least one misbehaving furbag in it and I am a slave once more giving my life meaning and fulfilment.  Its worth every ounce of grief and pain just to have them in my life as they bring so much joy and pleasure and unconditional love - bring it on....
Quote 0 0
Spark
Omg I relate. They make a home. Such love and comfort from these babies.   I ,like you, will let a new baby find us. We will hit the shelter and see who wants us.   For now we take a minute at a time.   My goal right now is not to cry constantly.   Thank you 
Quote 0 0
Trish777
It will get better, your grief is raw at the moment but it will ease, in time you will remember the good times you had with your special fur baby and your heart will not feel broken. 
Quote 1 0
Spark
I can’t imagine him being gone.   Like he is someplace else and coming back.  Right now it’s surreal and my insides feel hollow.   Never felt this way about any past pet.  He was so special.  
Quote 1 0
Spark
He was not himself, not well and most likely suffering. Very thin from the lymphoma.    Two vets saw him and said it was time.  I could not be there when he passed too emotional
My husband held him.  I hope I can heal and this lump in my throat goes away.   Right now it’s hell. 
Quote 2 0
Trish777
You will heal in time.  Try not to beat yourself up as I am sure you did what you could, like I did what I could but unfortunately some things are out of our hands.  I lost Max my other cat in August and he had been through an operation and the vet could not save him in the end. It was hell from that moment for a while because I blamed myself and I was riddled with guilt.  You will move on from this believe me.  You have to start distracting your mind from the negative thoughts by doing something - anything to keep your mind occupied. I wish I could be of more help because I know what you are going through.
Quote 1 0
Spark
I know I’ve got to distract myself.  I’m home because of Covid.   Makes it worse.   I honestly think I hear and see him from the corner of my eye. I think ... oh that noise is bubby.    It’s not.   I just hope this pain comes down a notch.   Right now it’s all I think of. And yes beat myself up.  
Quote 1 0
Kelly_1968
Hugs toall of you. Icame here also seeking solice. I lost my baby boy chocolate 1 week ago and im so heartbroken. We were always together . He sat with me , slept with me always was right there. I made the painful choice to say goodbye and now also suffer with regrets. I know he was really sick and his life was not the same but i really miss him. I knew this day would come someday and wow 10 years goes by and hes gone. Hugs to all of you i hope you all find peace and happiness and hope i can only remeber his wonderful soul instead of yearning for his presence.
Pisiciul wrote:
Dear Spark and dear Trish777,

I feel your pain. It's like I read my own story somehow. We lost our one and only furry child 2 weeks ago. The house has never been this empty and silent. It's unbearable and the whole pandemic lockdown doesn't help. 

These are the few things that help me everyday. It's not much of a help, but they make a little difference.

It helps me to think my boy is sleeping in the other room, no matter in which room I am at the moment. I just think it's all so silent because he's sleeping. Then it helps me not to see his toys or beds, but I kept only 3 items that he was very fond of, thinking he might need those in case he's still here with me. Then it helps to be here and try to reply to other's messages. Giving advice is actually the way I receive the same advice. I also send him letters on my own topic. Then... it helps to trust my boy that he will come back to me one day, in any form he wants and then I will know it's him. Not now, but later. And mommy will know.

Please stay strong. Hugs.
Kelly garrett
Quote 0 0