My husband and I go dancing on Wednesday’s and Fridays for free dance lessons. This is something we had just started doing. He wants to learn country dancing. For me is been hard to go back to doing fun things. My baby girl passed on Wednesday 8-8-2018. Then Friday came and my husband wanted to go so I agreed. He has dealt with loss before and he tries to cheer me up. I was sad and didn’t enjoy much. (I share this part before) that was when as we stepped outside I saw the cloud in the shape of a puppy and then lightning and thunder and I felt Sassy there telling me she was with me and that she was fine. She used to bark at thunder and chase it. She always wanted to go outside and bark like crazy. I had always been afraid of thunder and I felt like she was taking care of me when she chased the thunder away. My days have continued to be a rollercoaster of emotions and filled with pain. Another week Wednesday besides it being a week since her passing I had some medical issues and we did it go dancing. Yesterday( Friday ) I couldn’t dance yet because of medical reasons but I know my husband enjoys it so I asked him if he wanted to go and he said yes. I would just sit and watch. I stopped by my moms house before going to the dance hall and I found a penny on the driveway as I was leaving. I remember someone here posting about pennies from Heaven. I remember how Sassy would get so excited to go to my mom’s house. We got to the dance hall and I sat and watch ( hubby danced) We were there a while and I had my purse in the table which I never left to go nowhere except once to the ladies room. Almost as we were leaving I put my hand on the table and on a penny. I know that penny wasn’t there before I even asked my husband did you put some change on the table and left a penny? He said no and he agreed that there were no coins on the table before. I like to think my mamacita, my Sassy girl was letting me know she is ok and that I’ll be ok. I have felt guilty going out there and feel like I should not be enjoying life without her. Sorry for the long post and maybe it makes no sense but I am trying to deal with this pain that is so big. I am still dealing with guilty thoughts of I should have loved my Sassy more, should have know she was sick. I have have guilt, regrets and pain.
I love you mamacita I alway will.
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If you can go out there and have even an ounce of calm, a bit of joy or a moments distraction do it! I think that’s wonderful! Our mind and body aren’t built to withstand this enormous grief and all the Tagalongs like stupid guilt that hang on for a ride. Part of why sleep, our long lost friend for many, is so vital for a mind and body, we need the breaks.
I’m happy for your signs and that they are also giving you comfort don’t ever think you’re carrying on to much. It’s vital to have somewhere to express yourself and be understood, I hope your weekend is as bright as can be,,,,,
Lynn, Tankie’s mom, forever
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I agree with Tankie, don't ever think you're going on for too long or rambling. We all love to hear stories and signs and just writing and getting it out there is so helpful. ❤
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Our hearts need a break  and our minds need a rest.  Your mamacita is leaving signs of her love for you, and telling you that she is ok.  I am so sorry for your loss, we all understand your pain.  (((Hugs)))
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