MOConnor
Hello,

Am I the only one who has dreamed about their little ones even a long time after their passing?  I don't mean daydreams and waking fantasies...I speak of true dreams that occur during sleep.  It has happened to me twice that I can remember...once was sort of funny, the other was a nightmare I wish I could forget.
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Susie_Squillions
Absolutely! I've had dreams about some of my angels years after saying farewell.  Some are just dreams, and some are dream visits. The visits feel more natural and real and they always leave me feeling comforted for a day or so after having them. The dreams don't alter my emotions the following day the way visits do.  I believe that nightmares are purely psychological tools to help us resolve or deal with the villains of emotions like guilt and doubt. They are absolutely normal.

Do you want to share the dreams you have had?  If you do, this is a safe place to do it. We all "get it."

xoxoxo


My heart is battered and bruised, but I will not let it break. It holds such precious cargo, I must protect it now. (Susie Squillions)

"Memories of loved ones are like songs in our soul." Margaret Wakeley

T.J.'S RESIDENCY:
http://RainbowsBridge.com/residents/TJ006/Resident.htm

BUDDY GUY AYRES~LYNCH'S RESIDENCY:
http://www.rainbowsbridge.com/residents/Buddy128/resident.HTM

KING BING THE GOD CAT'S RESIDENCY:
http://rainbowsbridge.com/residents/BINGO009/Resident.htm

In one of the stars, I shall be living.
In one of them, I shall be laughing.
And so it will be as if all the stars were laughing when you look at the sky at night.
~ The Little Prince, Antoine de Saint-Exupery
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MOConnor
Hello,

The one that bothers me most actually occurred over a year ago...but I still remember it visibly.  Somehow I was back in Virginia and Maria was alive again, despite the fact that she would be far into her teens at the time.  It was night, a dark night with no moon.  I had gone outside to check on her and play with her, despite the fact that it's pretty hard to see a black rabbit on a pitch-dark night.  I remember I turned my back or went to another part of the backyard for a few moments when I heard a horrible scream that defies description.  A high-pitched, shrill call of fear and agony.  I about left my insides behind me in my attempt to get back to the hutch where I'd left Maria and what I saw there...

Somehow Maria had gotten a hind leg twisted in the wire mesh of the "open" portion of the hutch and it was broken.  I could tell because a bit of moonlight showed itself...enough for me to see clearly.  The blood was dark because of the lighting so it looked black.  But I could see the pale, blinding whiteness of the bones of Maria's lower leg...glistening in a most sickening manner in the night. 

She was looking at me with her expressive eyes, begging me to help her...and I couldn't.  I'm no vet and I didn't any means of ending her suffering (e.g. a hammer) to hand...so all I could do was stand there and hear her scream again and again...

I woke up shaking, in a cold sweat, and not entirely sure for a few moments if I was awake or asleep.
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Susie_Squillions
Oh, MO:

What a terrible dream.  I am pretty sure it was an expression of the terror of wondering if you could have done more for her; of feeling responsible an helpless simultaneously.  I think we've all felt that at one point or another, whether sleeping or awake.  I hope you'll be able to resolve that dream; take the message and then let it go.  Just release it into the cosmos.

I had terribly graphic dreams of danger even before T.J. was diagnosed. I always woke from those in a sweat, afraid to go back to sleep.  They're just awful, I know.

I hope that writing about it and getting some feedback will help you in some way.

xoxoxo


My heart is battered and bruised, but I will not let it break. It holds such precious cargo, I must protect it now. (Susie Squillions)

"Memories of loved ones are like songs in our soul." Margaret Wakeley

T.J.'S RESIDENCY:
http://RainbowsBridge.com/residents/TJ006/Resident.htm

BUDDY GUY AYRES~LYNCH'S RESIDENCY:
http://www.rainbowsbridge.com/residents/Buddy128/resident.HTM

KING BING THE GOD CAT'S RESIDENCY:
http://rainbowsbridge.com/residents/BINGO009/Resident.htm

In one of the stars, I shall be living.
In one of them, I shall be laughing.
And so it will be as if all the stars were laughing when you look at the sky at night.
~ The Little Prince, Antoine de Saint-Exupery
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MOConnor
Hello,

I am not sure what message that nightmare holds...Maria died very suddenly, while being treated for a minor illness.  Of course at the time nobody seemed to know that Amoxycillin is deadly for bunnies so the treatment for her bladder infection only helped to kill her.  Unlike Jellybean's passing Maria's was a thunderbolt from a clear blue sky...with Jellybean at least I knew at the time that hope was gone and it was time to end her grief and suffering.

Finding Maria dead in her hutch was the first time I ever encountered death at a really personal level.  I'd been to a few funerals sure but not for anybody I was close to and there was no dead body to see or touch. 

Of my two little ones I had thought Maria's death the easier of the two to deal with and to squelch the associated emotions because there was little or no associated guilt over her passing, whereas I have carried a lot of baggage with having Jellybean put to sleep.

MOConnor
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Susie_Squillions
Here's my take on it:

It sounds to me like the dream is telling you everything you said in your reply.  In the dream, Maria died suddenly in her hutch.  It was a dark, black night -- a very foreboding thing which ties in with the unseen condition that caused her death. It was too dark to see that she was in trouble.  You feel responsible (guilt) because you were her person, her caretaker, and you were unable to prevent her death.  You said, "She was looking at me with her expressive eyes, begging me to help her...and I couldn't.  I'm no vet..."  That is how your subconscious processed the feelings of helplessness and panic at the thought of not being able to help Maria at a time when you felt she was in crisis.

The reality in waking life is that you would have done anything within your power to have helped Maria if you had known she needed you, just as you would have in your dream if the resources had been available.  She died so suddenly that everything about it was a terrible shock and that left you with the feelings of helplessness, darkness, panic, fear and sorrow that were expressed in the dream.  In short, everything about her death was a nightmare for you, and as a result, you had a nightmare about it.  Does that make sense?

That's just my opinion, but it's how I would read the dream if I had been the one dreaming it.  I hope this helps you to resolve why you would have had such a disturbing dream.  I can certainly understand why you would have trouble getting it out of your mind. 

Now, what about the funny dream you had?  Did Maria visit you and act like a silly little bun who wanted to play, or did she have a message that she shared with you?  I would love to hear about that one too.  At least recounting it will help to put a smile on your face and mine. :-)

xoxoxo



My heart is battered and bruised, but I will not let it break. It holds such precious cargo, I must protect it now. (Susie Squillions)

"Memories of loved ones are like songs in our soul." Margaret Wakeley

T.J.'S RESIDENCY:
http://RainbowsBridge.com/residents/TJ006/Resident.htm

BUDDY GUY AYRES~LYNCH'S RESIDENCY:
http://www.rainbowsbridge.com/residents/Buddy128/resident.HTM

KING BING THE GOD CAT'S RESIDENCY:
http://rainbowsbridge.com/residents/BINGO009/Resident.htm

In one of the stars, I shall be living.
In one of them, I shall be laughing.
And so it will be as if all the stars were laughing when you look at the sky at night.
~ The Little Prince, Antoine de Saint-Exupery
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MOConnor
Hello there,

Your interpretation makes good sense to me and fits with my repressive personality; the tendancy to bear pain or grief alone. 

The more amusing dream was...well, have you ever seen the old Star Trek episode "The Trouble with Tribbles"?

In the dream I had both Jellybean and Maria again...albiet both very elderly, more silver than black...and a whole host of little baby bunnies.  I don't know if they were the children Jellybean and Maria would have had if I had had them bred (back then there was no talk about spaying rabbits...I guess the surgery was too risky at the time) or if they were just baby bunnies that had come from out of nowhere.  I couldn't keep count of the little ones...there were at least 8-10, probably a dozen or more.  And the name of the game was keeping everybunny in either the outdoor hutch or the outdoor run...which I could never do despite having assistance from a former classmate from my grade school days (why him I don't know, I've never had any feelings for him in any way).  Jellybean and Maria were too old to jump very high but the babies were everywhere...I'd turn my back to get one and two would escape.  I do remember I was able to get a color-coded collar on all of the babies but I was chasing the little rascals, trying to keep them in safe places, until I woke up feeling rather tired.
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Susie_Squillions
Well, that's pretty adorable, isn't it?  It put more than a smile on my face; I'm sitting here chuckling.  The Trouble With Tribbles is a perfect analogy for it!

All I can suggest is that whenever the memory of the bad dream begins to surface, you need to immediately close your eyes and see all those squillions of bunnies hippity-hop-hopping all around you to make you smile again.  Maybe Jellybean and Maria came to visit you to show you their best Bridge friends.  LOL  Do you suppose they could be running a daycare center there?  :-D

xoxoxo


My heart is battered and bruised, but I will not let it break. It holds such precious cargo, I must protect it now. (Susie Squillions)

"Memories of loved ones are like songs in our soul." Margaret Wakeley

T.J.'S RESIDENCY:
http://RainbowsBridge.com/residents/TJ006/Resident.htm

BUDDY GUY AYRES~LYNCH'S RESIDENCY:
http://www.rainbowsbridge.com/residents/Buddy128/resident.HTM

KING BING THE GOD CAT'S RESIDENCY:
http://rainbowsbridge.com/residents/BINGO009/Resident.htm

In one of the stars, I shall be living.
In one of them, I shall be laughing.
And so it will be as if all the stars were laughing when you look at the sky at night.
~ The Little Prince, Antoine de Saint-Exupery
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