You came to me eight years ago on a beautiful sky blue Mother's Day. You were a dear little bundle of brown and white fur, with the cutest big ears you eventually grew into, and such a sweet sparkle in your eyes, what an adorable little kitten you were. I knew as soon as I saw you that I was yours and you were mine, and when I reached out to you and held you, you seemed to just melt right into my arms, it was as though you knew you were home. You were born on a boat and spent your first several weeks on that boat, perhaps that is why whenever I would turn on a faucet, you would come running to dip your little paw underneath, you were so comfortable around the water, my little sailor kitty.
When we first went to your doctor, I was stunned and saddened to learn that you had a serious heart problem, and that you most likely would not make it even two more weeks. I remember coming home from work each day and calling out your name, so very scared that one day you would not come, but you always did, and,it seemed as though you were getting bigger and stronger with every passing day, Your doctors were so incredibly surprised several months later to see that you were now completely healed, and you were the picture of health, oh yes, you were my little miracle. I can't help but feel that you knew how very much you were loved, and you fought so very hard to stay here with me just a little bit longer, and every single day we shared with each other was a wonderful gift.
We had such fun together you and I, you used to love to lay on the windowsill and watch the snowflakes fall, and you would often reach out that dear little paw to me and put it on my shoulder, you always wanted to be connected to me. Even when we would go to the clinic, you would reach that little paw of yours out of the carrier just so I could hold it, and it made both of us feel so much better.You used to love to wait for me to come home from work so I could scoop you up in my arms and tell you how very much I had missed you, and how very happy I was to be home with you again. You and your brother Jingles were so close, and very often I would find you two cuddled up together in the evenings sound asleep.
In early February, I noticed that all of a sudden you were having trouble eating and even walking, so I rushed you to your doctor and found out that this was not a heart problem, but a neurological issue, and the prognosis was not good, still I did not give up and neither did you. I tried so very hard to save you, and you tried so very hard to stay here with me, you fought the good fight my sweet boy, but you were hurting so badly, that I had to make the hardest decision I have ever made in my entire life ... I had to love you enough to let you go.
Our last moments together will never leave me, when I held you in my arms and kissed your little head, and I told you through my tears to wait for me just on the other side of the rainbow, and in our last seconds together, I saw in your eyes a glint of recognition, you knew I was right there with you, holding you and loving you, until our very last goodbye. Not a day goes by that I don't think about you my dear Jasper, and I miss you more than words could ever say. Jingles misses you too, very often I will find him sitting and just staring at the front door, I think he is still waiting for you to come back home.
Thank you my sweet boy for coming into my life and finding me, and I want to let you know that I would not trade one single moment of our precious years together, the beautiful joy and happiness of knowing you and loving you so far surpasses the deep pain and sadness of losing you. Thank you my precious Jasper for the legacy you left, without you I would not be who I am today, and without you I could not be who I am tomorrow.
On February 3rd, it will be two years since I held you in my arms for the very last time, and my life and world changed in such a profound way. Please know that even though I may not be able to reach out and touch you, you are always by my side, and forever in my heart, and remember that someone down here loves you so very very much, and will never ever forget you and all of the sweetness and love you left behind. Reach that dear little paw of yours out and feel all the love I am sending you clear across the rainbow my special little boy, and I will reach my hand up to the sky, hold onto all of that love my sweet baby until I get there. I will keep you safely tucked away in my heart until the wonderful day when our eyes meet, and we run to each other, and I pick you up in my arms and never ever let you go again ... momma loves you forever and a day.