Lisa1975
I can't believe next week will be four months since Diablo passed away.  Driving home tonight from work I just started bawling my eyes out and talking to him.  I still feel like I failed him and still question my decisions.  I would give up everything to have him back with me and hold him in my arms.  I want to smell him, feel his fur and give him kisses.  I want to feel happy again.  Every place I go (except work) has a memory of him.  And I want to remember him.  Its just hard to think of him and not cry.  I haven't taken my other dog Shadow to any of our normal places.  I feel it will be too hard as Diablo loved our park and the dog park and I feel guilty taking her there without him.  Its not fair to her. 
I have a puppy who has been home for a month, his name is Wally.  I see a lot of Diablo in him.  I do love him, but feel guilty about it.  And I catch myself thinking if I could only have Diablo back.  And I look into Wallys sweet puppy face and he doesn't deserve to be compared to Diablo. 
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LGB_74
Hi. I feel exactly the same as you..4 months next week since i lost my lovely golden retriever - charlie. Everything you have written is  exactly how i feel. I posted today on the bereavement forum and nobody has replied to my post. I saw that you also posted and nobody had replied to you...so I just wanted to say - you are not alone, i feel your pain and its really tough isnt it? A real struggle - I feel ok one minute and in tears/very low the next. 
LGB
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Ell99
Big hugs to both of you. This post got my attention as I'm also 4 months. Lgb I'm sorry that no one has commented on your post sometimes it takes a day or so for people to comment and I also notice some posts get many views but no comments. My post has 4 replies and that has been after a week so sometimes it takes a while. I did post once and got no replies so yeh I'm not sure why that happens. I haven't been on here for a few days but wanted both of you to know my heart breaks for you as I know the pain and emptiness you feel. Big hugs. Elle.
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Lisa1975
Thank you guys so much for your comments.  And I am so sorry for both of your losses.  I was talking to someone and said I don't think I remember being this bad even when my parents passed.  I was then reminded that these little babies depend on you for everything so it can be harder.  Ihave a house full of paws (5 cats and two dogs) but yet still feels so empty without my baby boy
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