Just after thanksgiving last year and two days before my birthday we lost our beloved Maine coon mix Chi. He was thirteen and in great health apart from the incredibly aggressive and painful cancer in his jaw. We found out in October and less than six weeks later the tumor had gotten so big that we had to put him to sleep. We had him since he was a kitten and he really was my best friend. When he died I was just going into finals and couldn’t even properly grieve. I felt guilty for not catching it in time - I could tell something was wrong with him he was lethargic and he developed sneezing and drooling out of nowhere. I kept taking him in to the vet and they found nothing on his bloodwork ans they tried benedryl claiming he could have developed allergies. When the tumor showed up we hoped that he just had an infected tooth, but when hey did his dental they confirmed it was cancer. The worst part is that he was totally healthy other than that. The cancer was completely localized but because it was in his jaw they couldn’t operate and they said this type didn’t respond to chemo or radiation. It wa heartbreaking because through the whole thing he still was so sweet and cuddly, he even kept eating up until the very last day something the vet said wouldn’t happen. I feel guilty not only about him being sick and my not being able to do anything to help him but also because once I knew he was sick it hurt so much to look at him for a while that I didn’t spend all the time that I could have with him. Of course I know that he knew I loved him and we still had quality time together but sometimes it was just too much. It’s been almost a year now and when I think about him for more than a minute I still burst into tears. I still feel terrible inconsolable pain whenever I think about him. I talk to him to let him know that not a day goes by that I don’t miss him and think about him, and that I still love him so much. I know that we will be reunited again someday but I don’t know what to do until then. My life and my heart feel so empty without him. I lost my best friend and I don’t know what to do. I’ve been up all night crying. When will it get easier?
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Awww poor Chi. Cancer is awful and I'm sure you made Chi comfortable in his last days. It is strange how we just think they will be here forever isn't it? And even though you may not think you spent enough time with him, he knew how much you loved him. You did the best you could. Everyone on here is grieving a loss of their pet-there is no timetable. So if you cry, that's okay. A hole has been left in our hearts that may never be filled. 

Perhaps you can speak to a grief counselor or purchase some books on losing a pet. I think they may be helpful. It would also be nice if we knew that they'd be waiting for us. I'm just holding on hope to that. 
Best wishes

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I know what you mean, we found out Simba had cancer on the Monday and when I looked at him I just saw my boy who was ill and going to probably leave us, which brought on a torrent if grief. I hated that I was crying in front of him all the time I didn't want him to feel my pain but I was well and truly overwhelmed. He is gone 6weeks 3am this morning.
Did you get any other pets?
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