I am so sorry that you are still feeling lost without your baby. I felt the same way you did as I lost my "child" after more than 15 years together.
I actually got to the point where I had to do something or I was going to drive myself into a deep depression. I sought the counsel of my sister, who also lost her dog and loved him very deeply. She talked me through the tough days and was a great comfort. The second thing I did was talk to an animal communicator. She helped me get some questions answered and after speaking to her, I had an overwheming peace of where Chipper was and who was with him. Since then, I have felt much better. Don't get me wrong....I still cry for him sometimes.....but things are better. I will always have a deep love for my baby and I so look forward to seeing him and my loved ones when my day comes. I had a friend come up to me yesterday evening and say that she had a terrible time when she and her husband lost their dog. After 3 weeks, they got another one. Its been almost a month and a half for me......and while I desire to have that kind of relationship again......I'm not ready yet. I'll know when it is time and so will you. Your words to Sydney were beautiful and I know she is sending you lots of love back! I believe Sydney is well and happy.....so very happy. Where she is....there is nothing but pure love and joy. She wants you to be happy again and so do I. I'm sure everyone here at RB will do what we can to help. We are here for you.
Momma's Chipper Boy (9/19/95 - 1/30/11) My heart, my love, my buddy! I miss you and love you so, so much! I can't wait to see you at the bridge! Love, Mommy Lady "Ladybugs" (8/2/03 - 6/5/17) My sweet girl. Thanks for the walks, playtime, sock collection, boo boo kisses and love you gave all of us. We will miss you dearly! Until we meet again...we love you!