NormaT
We are lucky to have a holiday home and this is the first time we've been here since Spike went over Rainbow Bridge nearly 6 weeks ago. The pain is stabbing at me because everything that reminds me of him is here too - everything is replicated. His caravan bed I've had to put out of sight. His toys, his food / water bowls are here on the floor and I can't bring myself to move them. We've been out for walks but there's no escaping the usual walks we'd do with Spike. Yesterday we were out and I found myself instinctively looking behind to see where he was. Usually sniffing some special spot or finding some rancid food! All the "this is the first time since" moments are again overwhelming. I just miss him so much. When I'm looking at his pictures I know exactly how his hair feels when rubbing his belly. I can almost smell him and just want to cuddle him again. Everybody around here seems to have a dog. I want to make a fuss of them but I'm frightened of rejection. Is that stupid? I look at their owners and I'm jealous but I also find myself thinking you do not know the despair you will endure when you loose them. Oh Spike. Who would have guessed how loved you would be. You touched me in ways I didn't realise were possible. For that I am thankful.
All my love,
Mam
xxx
Norma 
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Sadiesmom061308
NormaT,
I know exactly what you mean. Everything reminds us of our babies. I was just writing on another post how I got an email to tell me to get Sadies yearly license. We will never forget them as we loved them so much. We will see them in everything we do I believe for a long time to come. It is a testament to our devotion to them and their devotion to us. Sending you hugs and peace
Tammy
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Bailey15
Hi Norma,
I totally understand where you are coming from..... I haven't been for a walk down our street since Bailey died in November. It got cold right after and I was glad. So I've been using the treadmill instead! I went with my husband twice in the evening but we ended up talking with neighbors. However, I walked to the end of the driveway to pick up some flyers one day after parking my car and it was actually painful - I looked at the first shrub bed where Bailey always wanted to mark the "donkey tail - shrub" and I could I just imagine him right there. I feel so badly for you reading your post - that pain is excruciating!
I have also had those same feelings with friends' dogs. It might be worth trying to pat another dog - it may help you a little bit to feel that again.
Spike sounds so very special and I know you loved him so much! I'm sure he knew it too. They give so much back to us: that unconditional love and loyalty, and just plain fun! So hard to lose those things when you lose your "oh so special friend"!
I'm really sorry for that you are going through Norma! I hope it becomes a bit easier but I know that takes time.
Thinking of you and hoping you will start to feel better.
Hugs!
MJ
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NormaT
Thanks Tammy and MJ,

It means so much to be able to share these things with people who understand. We're going out to the beach soon and there's bound to be loads of dogs there. If I'm lucky Spike will "arrange" for an inquisitive dog to come over to us. I've just had a thought - when we were out with Spike sometimes random people who didn't have dogs would suddenly produce treats. I wonder if they were missing someone special and needed those feelings only fur babies can give?

Norma
Norma 
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Chrissy
Hi NormaT.  Ditto we have gone through the same thing this bank holiday, and it causes all the hurt to return a million fold. I also took Dukes ashes with me so that he got the trip to the seaside that he always loved. I had every intention of scattering half his ashes on the sand dunes where he loved to play but just couldnt do it, so he returned home with us, perhaps next time I will feel that the time is right to leave that part of him that loved his hols by the sea. Thinking of you and hoping that our next trips will be slightly less emotional although I think there will always be that little thing that happens that bring all those same emotions back again X 
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