Hi all,

As many of you know I lost my "once in a lifetime cat" Cody on January 12th. I LOVE all my cats but Cody wanted to be around me 24/7 and loved kisses and rubs at all times--he never had a attitude!!--so thats why I say he was my once in a lifetime cat.

We have been thinking about getting another cat but have a few concerns that maybe you all can help address:

1.) I do not want Cody to be mad at me or feel betrayed...I still have guilt over his death and would hate for him to be in heaven and be upset that I got another cat...but I know he is looking down on me right now and hates that I am so upset.

2.) I have a current cat Kaci (8 years old, female). I am not sure if it would be good for her to have another cat or not. She was adopted as a kitten as a friend for Cody when Cody was 4 years old and my cat Claudia who was Cody's best friend passed away. Cody and Kaci were never attached at the hip--they did not sleep in the same bed like Cody and Claudia did---but they got along really well until a couple years ago. Cody kept going to the vet for enemas due to his constipation and him and Kaci started to drift apart. She was never mean and attacked him but she started to get an attitude sometimes when he was around, other times she would be fine.... Unfortunatly Kaci can not tell me what she wants..she has never been the only cat so not sure if she wants to be or not.

3.) If we get another cat we would get a younger male cat as I hear thats whats best for an older female. However, Kaci is declawed. All my cats were always declawed as back in the day this was part of the spay and neuter package. Would the new cat having claws and Kaci not be an issue? Hopefully since he would be young he has not developed very aggressive behaviors yet. Adopting a declawed cat now is near impossible as there are very very few in shelters that are declawed and the ones that are are Kaci's age or older since now-a-days they do not declaw.

4.) When did it become SO hard to adopt a cat? A few of the shelters websites say that you have to fill out a long form with references and also they want your landlords phone number. I do not mind giving references but my complex charges $50 per month per cat. For some reason they always thought I had one cat and I never fixed it and I've been here 5 years so I do not want the adoption company calling asking them if I can have another cat in the apartment and then I have to pay $100 per month in cat rent. I am all for paying what is needed for my cat (I have paid $3,000+ for Cody's vet costs the last few years when he got sick) but the way my complex charges in ridiculous and I think a per month pet fee is unnecessary as I put a nonrefundable cat deposit down when I moved in anyway (which is normal). So case in point I do not want them calling my complex. I am not trying to be unreasonable but unfortunatly these apartment complex's are out to take your money!!

Any advice would be great. 
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I'm going through this right now.  A part of me wants to adopt a couple of kittens to bring life back into our house.  There's four of us here but it still feels empty.  I don't want to disrespect and anger Delenn.  One of my best friends is Chinese and he's been a huge help.  Chinese lore says a minimum of 49 days needs to pass because in that 49 days, the spirit of a loved one can come back, and does.  So I've been going back and forth.
Stephen "Riceman" Myers
"The greatest tribute one can give a loved one is to share their life and stories with others."

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I lost my once in a lifetime 3 yr old ginger boy Ollie on feb 2oth and adopted Bella on Mar 8th. I felt a bit of guilt at first but now I'm so happy I have her . It's different for everyone so just go with your heart x
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Riceman- Thank you. That is interesting. It has been well over 49 days without my boy. The 12th will mark 3 months :( .... I have not had any type of "supernatural" or "hard to explain" experiences like others on this forum have. I wish my boy would let me know he is okay and has found our family in heaven.

Sasha- I feel guilty and also I want to make the best decision for Kaci and do not know what that is. We are going to hopefully look at a cat today but the adoption process is so hard these days. I have read from reviews that so many people have been turned away for insane reasons. 
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