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Sil

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Reply with quote  #76 
Lrogers424,

I giggled when I read, "Patience is the key when she stops to put EVERYTHING in her mouth....." -  I'd rather not write, the things I have "removed" from Maya's mouth, when she was a puppy...… and now, I'm still "performing-mouth-extracting-objects" from Lea's mouth......... do not want anyone to lose their dinner.  Puppies like human babies explore the world "using" their mouth/teeth...….. and this is a pretty big world.  

But, I really enjoy their puppyhood...… their "antics", their energy, their curiosity and their sweet innocence.  Patience and more patience.  And, it sounds like baby Luna is already helping Mom's heart to mend - with Daisy's help.    
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Lrogers424

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Reply with quote  #77 
Hi Sil,

Your post made me laugh about "mouth extractions".  I remember my kids putting everything in their mouths as babies and I appreciate you confirming that this is a perfectly normal way to explore the world. I am trying to teach Luna the "Drop it" command, but yesterday she had fixated on a pine cone, which apparently is a puppy delicacy (who'd have thought?), and there was quite a battle.  Hard to believe she was the same exemplary girl who, the very same day, trotted beautifully on her leash into the assisted living place my in-laws live in and had to greet everyone she met. 

She experienced her first snow yesterday and was in her glory!  She snuffled and tossed her little self about in sheer delight...I was not as thrilled as it is November for goodness sake and I can wait a few months longer for the white stuff, thank-you-very-much.  But her joy was infectious and I could help but laugh as she leapt into a snow pile and got herself good and stuck.  She was immensely pleased with the adventure and, after we both dried off, I had to agree that it was a successful first snow romp.

I remember how Daisy loved to run in the snow too.  My husband would make her "trails" with the snow blower in the back yard so she could run with out getting stuck in the snow.  We would always lose her as her curly white fur blended seamlessly with the white expanse. But then she would pop up like a rabbit and run like the wind again in the trails! By the time she came in, she was crusted with snow as her curls just seemed to trap it all and she would stand patiently while I "de"snowed her.  She was such a good girl.  I dearly miss her sweet, funny little self. She is forever in my heart and, even as I love Luna, I still can't believe Daisy is gone. Sometimes it just sneaks up on me and feels like a punch in the gut.

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Lori, Daisy's Mom and now Luna's Mom
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Sil

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Reply with quote  #78 
Lori - Daisy's and Luna's Mom,

Thank you for visiting my beloved Sol's thread... for reading "our story".  As I am writing this,  I am giggling so hard.... Luna, with the sweet innocent face,
"putting quite a battle".  Love your detailed description of Luna's first snow adventure.  This is what is all about.... they make us stop and appreciate
all the little things.  For them "Anything" is worth exploring.... and if their puppies.... putting these objects/items into their mouths.  

I know, in our hearts, we miss "the one".  But, why would we not?  Daisy is so loved by you.  Our love for them does not have an expiration date.... is endless. 
I see Sol, in my two fur babies, and I truly believe that, they came into my life because of Sol.  

Luna has started to created her own memories with you.  Your heart will rejoice as she grows and the cycle of unconditional love will begin again.
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catiebee

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Reply with quote  #79 
A bitsy note for you, Lori, to say hello and wish you well in this season. Time flies on and I know your life has changed so much! I hope your heart is healing little by little.  I'm so glad for all the ways Luna is bringing you joy.  So precious to have a young one delighting in snow and in all the new things she's introduced to, like pine cones. lol Even when Mom has to race over to pull it out, before she devours it.  I trust Luna and her antics will continue to fill your heart and hope things continue to get easier with the passing of time. Best wishes for your holidays and hugs to you....
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Catie
-Missing Marissa deeply
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Lrogers424

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Reply with quote  #80 
Hi Catie,

Luna is growing so fast and is already 8 lbs; almost doubled in size from her 8 week 4.6 lb size.  I am amazed at how quickly she is growing and learning before our eyes. She is a sweet and loving girl who finds joy in everything from milk caps to her morning kibble to a leaf blowing along the sidewalk...perfect for chasing!  This week was a bit sad as, when gathering images from 2018 for a new 2019 calendar for our family, I came across Daisy's photos.  Photos taken when we had no idea that those were her last months, weeks and days with us.  It took my breath away and it felt like "before days" when everything was normal.  My heart broke all over again over her devastating loss. Sometimes I still feel her here and every so often Luna will do something that is "so Daisy".  I wonder if Luna can pick up on Daisy's scent in the house?  Luna does fill those empty moments with her unbridled joy and I love her soft cuddly moments too.  We did finally officially announce her arrival on our Christmas card, though it was hard not having Daisy on the card too.  I wanted to keep it up beat and moving forward to a positive direction.

I hope you are well.  I saw from your thread that you have a lot on your plate.  I think of you often and hope you find moments of peace.  I wish you the best for the holidays.  I know it will be hard without Marissa, but she and Daisy are making snow angels together across that bridge.

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Lori, Daisy's Mom and now Luna's Mom
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Sil

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Reply with quote  #81 
Lori - Daisy's and Luna's mom,

So glad that Luna is thriving and helping your heart.  I know, we will forever miss "the ones", but is normal. The heart "feels" the love for them, our arms the "longing".  And,  tears will often visit.  But, we must press on, you will forever have Daisy guiding you.  And now, Luna is looking at you with those eyes filled with the most beautiful unconditional love.  Have a Merry Christmas.
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catiebee

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Reply with quote  #82 
Thank you so much, Lori, for the beautiful post you wrote to me earlier. You are so thoughtful and expressive!

Wow, Luna is getting to be a big, little girl quickly. Puppyhood is such a whirlwind, goes by so fast! I smile to read what she is doing and to think of her becoming woven into your family, bit by bit. 

I'm joining you in snow memories. My first dog, Misha, would end up with big ole snowballs dangling in front in the upper chest region. So funny. Marissa was a snow girl, too, till we needed to move south. Her fur gathered up smaller balls that the lhasa. They all are like kids and get caught up in the wonder of the white stuff. It's a sweet thought to think of our girls bounding and snoofling through snow in realms unseen. 😉

My heart goes out to you over stumbling into Daisy's pictures. Photos are such a stark reminder of what we can't have anymore and I so understand having that pain break forth all over again. I hope one day before long photos will be easier on all of us. 

Thank you for your well wishes. I hope things will flow as gently as possible during the holidays for you and your family. May there be many smiles, in spite of the pain and any tears.  You're in my thoughts.







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Catie
-Missing Marissa deeply
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catiebee

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Reply with quote  #83 
Hi Lori!

I had stopped by your thread a couple of days ago when I was kind of making the rounds, but when I saw no new posts for a bit, I hesitated on what to say.  I hope things are going just swimmingly with Luna. And I hope bit by bit the grief over Daisy is easing and softening. Holidays can be royally tough, but I hope that yours went by as gently as possible and were warm and companionable.

I was looking back at each photo on your thread a few minutes ago. Your beautiful, vibrant, little Luna and your beloved curly topped Daisy. Such gorgeous creatures!

Thank you so much for the thoughtful, tender message you left on my thread. You shared beautiful words that I know flowed from a beautiful heart. I greatly appreciate your thoughtfulness and kindness!

I hope 2019 is treating you well and that the coming days hold wonderful things in store for you and yours. Hugs to you!





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Catie
-Missing Marissa deeply
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Lrogers424

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Reply with quote  #84 
Hi Catie,

It was so kind of you to check in.  It is hard to believe that Luna is almost 5 months old now.  The past months have been a lot of work with caring and training her.  She is doing so well and though we still have work to do together, I know she will be a wonderful companion.  Sometimes I still get frustrated and expect her to know and behave as Daisy did, but that is not fair to her and when I think of all the things she has learned in just 3 months, I am amazed by her.  We start obedience class together on Thursday and when I brought her to be evaluated they told me she was way beyond puppy 1 class because of all the work I have done with her.  So I registered her for an advance level class that will eventually lead to her therapy dog certificate.  She already visits an assisted living facility with me to visit my in-laws, and enjoys meeting everyone so I think it will be a good thing for both of us.  I always wanted to do that with Daisy, but she had a history of nipping early on so was not a good candidate.

I was training her the other day when I stopped and just looked into her eyes.  It was at that moment that finally stopped to realize that I loved her.  That she was part of me and I of her.  I had been so focused on the day to day care and training that I had let her into my heart without even knowing it.  Love with Daisy was also not immediate; it was a gentle build of trust, friendship and devotion. Even though I wanted Luna so much, I think there was a part of me that was resentful of her for taking Daisy's place and having Luna meant that Daisy would never come back. It is crazy, I know that Daisy is gone, but Luna really helped me close the chapter, but still remember Daisy with such love.  

I have also have been able to finally get back to quilting that I just could not do after Daisy's death.  I would always pull up a chair next to my sewing machine and Daisy would curl up while I sewed.  After she died, I could not face it and many projects when unfinished.  But I finally finished one and I've attached a photo.  This quilt was started when Daisy was with me and finished with Luna.  She happily posed for me on it.  This, as with most my quilts, will be donated to the Teen Oncology ward at Yale New Haven Hospital.

The other photo is of Luna with her new hair cut taken just today.  I always groomed Daisy and now Luna and I are figuring it out too.  Luna was so good, only ate a bit of her hair during the process :-) and we managed to get a decent hair cut in. She is beginning to look a bit more like her poodle ancestry, still with heavy Shih Tzu too.  She, of course, still has her signature tongue out of her mouth (which gets more pronounced the sleepier she is), her eye patch over her right eye seems to be fading a bit, but she is such a cutie and everywhere we go, everyone ooggles over her.

I hope you are doing okay and your Dad is getting stronger each day.  I cannot tell you how much your support, wise counsel and friendship has meant to me.  Take care of yourself!
Luna 5 months.jpg  Luna Quilt.jpg 



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Lori, Daisy's Mom and now Luna's Mom
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catiebee

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Reply with quote  #85 
Hi Lori!

I can't help but smile when I look at these photos of adorable Luna. She is a purely precious creature and I'm soooo glad she is in your life and has become knit into your family the way she has. She is so bright and engaging, from everything you write about her. You must be so proud of the way she's been growing, learning and progressing! I hope doing the obedience class with her will be a blast! And I expect you will come away even more amazed at how well she does. I can't believe she literally skipped a grade--you must have a real touch with training and it warms my heart to know you plan for her to be "therapeutic"! I'm sure in many ways she already is, before her official training and designation. 

Her little face!!

I love that you recently had the insight/realization of the way you have grown to love her. That she sashayed right into your hear, almost unawares. It's as it should be, the love that only grows. Such a gift! And of course Daisy will never lose her own place of deep, abiding love in your heart. Only she fits in that space, shaped just like her. 

Your quilt is a beauty! What a lovely gift and made with such caring. I'm grateful, reading the way you've been able to return to quilting again with your darling Luna coming alongside now. 

That's another piece of trust between the two of you--nice work with grooming her--she looks great! 

It's lovely to hear how the two of you are coming along. Thank you so much for sharing the photos. What a little peach and no wonder passers by are entranced by her!

Thank you for your kind words to me, Lori. I think the world of you.

I hope this is a good week for you both and that the class goes extra well tomorrow. 









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Catie
-Missing Marissa deeply
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Lrogers424

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Reply with quote  #86 
Today was particularly hard.  We bundled up against the cold and took a walk with Luna.  We decided on a park that we have not been to in a long time; a pretty location in the summer--icy and cold in the winter.  We rounded a corner and I felt like the wind had been knocked out of me.  It was a spot by a stream that some of the last photos with Daisy were taken.  I could still see us sitting on the stone wall hearing the gentle rush of the water and watching it flow around the rocks.  If I closed my eyes, I could still feel the weight of her on my lap and her curls beneath my fingers.  I did not know when those photos were taken, that in just a few short months Daisy would be gone and there would be an ache in my heart forever.  It has been seven months since she died in my arms and I still feel the wanting, heartbreak and loss.  I know we all want to turn the clock back and see our little lost loves again.

My sweet girl, I miss you so much and love you always.

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Lori, Daisy's Mom and now Luna's Mom
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catiebee

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Reply with quote  #87 
I'm just so sorry! That pain can reactivate in a heartbeat, can't it? Seeing that special spot and having the pictures roll by in your mind. Plus remembering the sense of her right there not so long ago. How painful!

My heart goes out to you and when I saw the email with your post, I wanted you to know you are heard and seen and cared about. 

I hate that you're hurting, Lori. But I understand and just finished mopping up tears from a surprise attack myself. 

May your heart find comfort and some ease on the heels of this struggle. Hugs to you!

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Catie
-Missing Marissa deeply
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Lrogers424

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Posts: 138
Reply with quote  #88 
Hi Catie, thank you so much for your kind and thoughtful post. Somethings no matter how small can trigger the grief all over again. I just try to push through it and focus on the here and now.

I hope you are well and that you too continue to move through it.

Best!

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Lori, Daisy's Mom and now Luna's Mom
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Karensmith

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Reply with quote  #89 
Gosh reading through your comments on here amazingly mirror everything I’ve been through since we lost our boy in June. Everything from the ongoing grief and anxiety. Even the part of trying to adopt a rescue. Adjusting to a new puppy and all the emotions that go with that. And of course the waves of grief that come back to visit even now. Not sure how long that will last but it isn’t as raw as the early months. Thanks for sharing your thoughts because it makes me realize my grief is not unusual or extreme.
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Lrogers424

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Posts: 138
Reply with quote  #90 
Hi Karen,

Thank you so much for posting and I am so sorry for your own loss.  The emotions are such a roller coaster and I was so devastated after losing our Daisy in July.  There were, and still are, so many emotions of loss, heartbreaking grief, guilt over wanting to adopt again and the anxiety involved with that process.  I also did not know if what I was feeling was "normal", nor did I think I would ever feel normal again.  The adoption process itself was such a roller coaster that we finally pursued a private "adoption" of a puppy.  Yes, I was guilty about that too as I wanted to adopt from a shelter, but they do not make that easy. 

People on this forum were so incredibly generous with their thought, advice and acceptance.  There were no judgments, just kind people who had or were going through the same thing.   Time does soften those hard edges of grief, even though there are still days that the loss feels so raw.  Our Luna has helped a lot in that process, but it took time.  I did not fall in love with her right away, even though I was the only one in my family that was adamant that we get her.  Being alone in that decision added to my anxiety.  I am glad now that I trusted my gut and followed through and kept pushing through even my own second thoughts.

I hope more people realize that it is okay to love again, it is normal to have second (and third) thoughts and things will get better.  There are so many sweet little souls needing a home and when you help them, they can help heal you too.  Their lives are short, ours is not.  So honor them by living again and loving again.

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Lori, Daisy's Mom and now Luna's Mom
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