godiva
Last night I looked on the county animal shelter website for adoptable dogs.  It has only been 9 days since I lost my baby Godiva!!  I guess I'm just missing her so much and that's why I looked at the site.

It broke my heart to see so many animals without homes and I even saw one that looked like it could have been her twin.  I know (I'm positive!) that I'm not ready for another dog, but I can't stop thinking about the dog that looked just like Godiva.  He's an 8 year old Lab mix that was brought in as a stray. Would anyone even want to adopt a dog at that age? I would take him if I were emotionally settled over last week's trauma.  

What I really want is my own dog back and as we all know, that can't happen.  I'm kind of sad right now.  :(

~ Becky 
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MyFrecks2014
Hi Becky,

I'm taking the day off with my new lil one and so am very much into reading everyone's thoughts in this forum. Again, a safe haven after having taken the huge step in adopting on Friday. For some reason, it perplexes me as to why my friends and fam don't quite understand how difficult a decision this was for me.

I do understand your looking for animals after your recent loss. Have read many posts in the past almost 2 years. There was this one guy whom had recently lost a dog and drove a gazillion miles to adopt his new found friend. I always thought how lucky he was in his ability to do that. He not too long ago checked in saying all was super well with them and it made me smile.

I have also read and heard peeps whom adopt and ? it afterward. You get that it is not a replacement for your furbaby.  I don't have an opinion one way or the other. I think it just depends on the person, their environment emotions, support etc. I would not try and sway you one way or another. Can only talk about my own experience.

Can't tell u how many times I had a dog in my lap and truly was perspiring over the commitment. The impulse was to adopt..then I had to walk away. I guess I was a bit 'wishy washy' if u will about it all. My intuition was my compass.

As my new lil one sleeps so much right now..it is very precious. I had forgotten in this time the responsibility. She is so worth it and as time goes on, I know we will fall into a routine. There we go again.more time, but it is true.

Yes, if I could only have my Freckles back. There was a comfort and security in knowing what to expect. I have to remind myself that he and I had to make adjustments too. I guess what I'm trying to say is that I had to follow my inner guidance and this time it was more like all of the stars aligned perfectly so it was clear that it was my time to finally say yes. Am sure everyone has their own story so I am sharing with you my own.

Freckles was a different time in my life and I miss that so the grief creeps in there too. This is my new life now and I am still in the growing pains of it all.  That's why I continually have to remind myself to try and stay in the moment. Then I don't want to even hear that :-)

Keeping you In My Thoughts and Prayers... Your heart will never lead you astray. :)
It is within this unexplored territory of my heart in which I weep from the depth of my soul. It is also at same, the fountain of Light in which I now dare to seek.
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godiva
Hi Freckles' Mom,

Did you and your new pup have a nice day together yesterday?  I may have missed in another of your posts, but what type of dog is it?  What's his name?  

You mentioned in your reply above how frustrating it is that family members and friends don't understand what a big decision it is to get another pet.  It's a HUGE decision and it's unfortunate that we don't always have the support we need or want.  

When I wake up in the morning, during that time between dreaming and reality, there's a little voice of intuition that speaks so clearly to me.  it's not my time yet to get another dog.  When I sitting alone at night after work, feeling the void, that's when I think I want a puppy curled up in my lap.  But realistically it wouldn't be fair to myself or to the dog.  

I called the crematory today and the urn still hasn't come in.  It was a special order and I guess it takes a bit longer.  I chose a wooden urn with a lacewood finish.  I'm not exactly sure what it will look like since it's a wood that's comprised of several different trees.  

This forum has been a life saver and huge comfort to me. It's sad though how many people are going through such similar things, but it does feel a little better knowing I'm not so alone.

Thank you for your nice reply!

~ Becky
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