Kripp0311
In February 2014 I was rescued by the love of my life. I was needing a lifelong companion and found myself at Chicago Animal control one Sunday afternoon where I walked down countless aisles of this dog and that dog and then I found THEE dog. The very last stall and the one that would change my life for the better. My heart has never felt so full. His name was Auggie, he was a year old and little did I know that three short years later he would no longer be there for our mornings snuggles or late night walks.

About a week after Auggie found me we had our very first vet appointment. A vet appointment I wasn't financially ready for, but we made it work. Turns out Auggie had allergies,a lot of them, or so I thought.Three years and over 60 vet appointments later puts us at 7/31/2017 it's been about a week and Auggie has lost his appetite. We have tried hamburger and rice and everything in between. A dog that was once so food motivated would walk away leaving the bowl more than half full. The vet was thinking Lyme disease, then staph infection, and then liver failure. He sent us home with antibiotics and followed up with a phone call the very next day...nothing improved.

Bringing us to 8/4/2017....I woke up and Auggie wasn't wagging his tail and he didn't look happy to see me. In fact I don't even know if he understood where he was. He was completely yellow...eyes, gums and stomach. His nose was dry and his stomach looked as if he swallowed a basketball. I rushed him to the vet. After countless blood test and ultra sounds turns out my sweet baby boy was in liver failure. The doctor told me that he could have had this his entire life. His body was strong enough to fight it off or mask it as something else but bottom line was that he was miserable and there was nothing more the vet could do. In just four short days he had gained almost 9 pounds of fluid and I'm left feeling like a terrible pet owner. I didn't think for one second that I would be walking into the vet with Auggie and walking out without him. I loved Auggie with ever piece of me and more. He was he best thing to ever walk into my life.

I can't even explain in words the pain I'm feeling. The guilt I'm feeling. How could I not know? How could my vet not know sooner? My four year old dog I just had to put to sleep?? Is this real. I can't sleep. I can't eat. My chest has a constant ache. My entire world feels like it just came crashing down and I can't stop crying.

How do you get through this?
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LuckyLouWho23
I'm so sorry for your loss. Auggie is so cute. Thank you for sharing his photos with us. I know that it's hard. Everything that you are saying I am going through. It has been a month since we lost Popcorn, and it never gets easier for me. I'm trying to be strong for my daughter. Our sweet boy had just turned 11. It wasn't his time to go. I constantly think what if I was here. What if my daughter and I hadn't gone on vacation, then Popcorn would still be alive. We couldn't have possibly known that her dad would put him to sleep. Losing Popcorn is horrible! It is just as bad that I can't explain any of this to my daughter. I don't understand why it happened. I hope that you can find little ways to get through your day. Please know that you are not alone. I know that there are a lot of other people on here that are going through similar things. I never know if I am saying the right things. Once again I am sorry for your loss.
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Ozziemom
So very sorry for your loss Auggie is so handsome just beautiful. You gave Auggie the best 3 years of his life a life he may not of had if you didn't walk in there February 2014 and he knew how much you loved him as he loved you. You didn't know cause they are so good at hiding their issues and illnesses from us. It's hard to loose our fur babies they gave us so much and asked very little in return just alittle love and playtime. I lost ozzie almost 2 months ago it will take time I too cry everyday can't sleep and eating when I feel like it. It's hard it's painful just keep talking about him and keep crying take your time we all understand the heartache and I can't say it's easy cause it's not you will never get over it you will get through it as the days goes on keep your memories in your heart. I wish you peace in your heart again i am so sorry for your loss.
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LovingPatches
Kripp,
I am so sorry to hear about Auggie.  What a terribly sad and painful story.  I had to put my Patches to sleep 2 weeks ago, so I know what you are going through, especially the guilt.  One thing I am discovering is that almost everyone here has a lot of guilt, whether they felt they put their dear pet down too soon, or waited too long.  No one seems to escape those self-doubts.  For me, that makes it the very hardest part of it all.  My dear Patches wasn't mentally ready to go but his body was giving out.  I was very lucky in that I had him for 16 of his 18 years on this earth.  Like Auggie, Patches was a shelter rescue too.  You were able to have your precious baby for only a few short years and that seems totally unfair.  But it sounds like you took wonderful care of him and he knew he was loved.  Please know that you did the very best thing for Auggie, even though it was probably the hardest thing you've ever had to do.  Please also know that we are all here to give you support in your grief.  As one wise person on this forum told me, don't be too hard on yourself.  Hard advice to follow but we must try.  I truly hope you can find some peace and comfort here on this forum.  

Diane

 
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Kripp0311
Thank you all so much for your kind words. It's comforting to know that at this very difficult time I'm not alone. I'm so sad to read your stories and my thoughts are with you all and your families at this time.

I'm still waiting to wake up from this terrible nightmare. Each day it will get easier and each day I come home from work looking forward to seeing Auggie's sweet face. For a few seconds everything seems so normal...

I'm taking each day slow, as I hope you are all too.

Thank again for your kind words of encouragement.
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