I really don't know what to do... 

I was honored to have the best dog ever, but unfortunately only for 10 months :( She died of kidney disease, and did not even live long enough to celebrate her 2nd birthday. It went way too fast. It's like my worst nightmare has become reality. 

Tuesday, a week ago, I still assumed I'd have her for 2-12 months, on Thursday, the vet said we're in the terminal phase now, and on Saturday we put her to sleep. 

And we went through SO much! I literally saved her last second from a shelter, who wanted to put her down because she was "aggressive" and "dangerous to public"... she was NOT! she was just scared. So I started working with her. SO much! And man, was she smart! Some tricks she learned within 10 minutes. And she completely opened up to other people around her! She was excited to see them! She became a happy dog. And she was SO beautiful! absolutely uniquely looking! Perfect in every possible way. 

Except of her stupid kidneys! I feel numb since then. Just almost NOTHING. I make it through the days, try to be home as little as possible, because I just can't stand being there without her. I cried less then I would have expected. I feel almost nothing. Most of the time. Sometimes I cry. It is still unreal. I started drinking a lot now, to make it through the nights. I miss her. Help me. 
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Oh, I am so sorry for your loss. What was her name?  Was she Sadie or is that you?  At least you got to save her once. She had a wonderful life though too short of a time with you. I tried the drinking also, it
seemed to help at first then I would bust into tears. Everyone that visits this site has had their worst nightmare come true.  I lost my girl back in March. She was Pekingese and a bit dominate but I loved her anyway. I still miss her each and every day. I wish I could help you more but as corny as it sounds only
time will heal.
Please accept my genuinely deepest sympathy,
 Vicky(Cosette's mom)
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I am so sorry for your loss.  You did a wonderful thing saving her the first time and you showed her what real love was.  I am so sorry you only had a short time together but she will always be with you.  If you feel lonely please come on here and talk to someone.  All the people on here are very supportive and understand how we feel. 
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Im sorry for your loss of Sadie, I also lost my best friend too she was a Pomeranian her name was Sadie too, you have to heal your own way, everyones different when they are healing, a loss of a pet, family member, and best friend, Sadie was my child, since I never could have children of my own, and oh how I miss her soooooo much everyday that goes by, I will never be the same without her. please if you need to talk please come back here and talk, they really helped me out, a lot, everyone here is so nice, and caring. godbless you and take care of you! Sadiesmommy
my sweet sadie girl she was a pomeranian and she was the sweetest little girl ever, she loved every one and she loved life in general she was my child because my husband and I could never have kids of our own, so she was definately our daughter, she was thebest furkid ever in my life we were soul mates from the beginning , we adopted her when she was only 8 weeks old, she was so cute and then she turned out to be the most beautiful pomeranian ever I have ever seen in my life. she was with us for 8 wonderful years but I didnt think that was long enough she was so young when we had to put her to sleep, she had diabetes foe a few years and then her kidneys just started shutting down it was so sad it killed us when we had to say goodbye to sadie!!!!!!!
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Hello. Thank you, all of you, for your kind responses and sympathy! It actually does help knowing that other people went through the same and actually understand that losing a dog is equal to losing a family member. She was my baby too, so I totally understand you (sadieandsugar). Vickye, her name was Pepper, she already had that name, but I kept it, because it fitted perfectly to her brindle fur :) She was sooo cute! Baileys_mom thank you, I will definitely come back to that offer... I have to admit I'm trying to spend as little time as possible at home right now, just because I can't bear it... but there will definitely be times when I will need to talk! And I also want to offer my help to others!
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I am so sorry for your loss.  I had my boy for 4 years and feel jealous of people who had their pets for a long time before losing them.  Please try to take comfort in the fact that you gave Pepper a wonderful, happy 10 months.  There's nothing more rewarding than loving a rescue pet and giving them time that they may not have had.  You made sure that Pepper knew love and that's a wonderful thing.
Thomas Cat
In our lives 14/4/2009 - 18/05/2013
In our hearts forever
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Hi Sadie, I too am so sorry and also know how you feel. I lost my 16 yr old boy on May 13th. I've also started drinking a lot to try and numb the pain. But unfortunately it hasn't helped much, it only makes me feel more upset and cry more. I too hate being home because he's not here, but my boy used to travel with me, so even driving my car hurts. You are not alone. Sometimes knowing there are others that are going thru the same thing helps, sometimes it doesn't. But you definitely have a lot of friends here who are going thru the same thing and are here to help however they can.
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Hi Sadie, I feel your intense pain. I lost the light of my life, Farrah a week ago. I to am numb and crying less which makes me feel so guilty.Thevfirst two nights I drank myself into oblivion and almost called 911 on myself because Icouldnt handle it. I miss her so much and have to live with the memories of her last two days struggling to breathe and me holding the oxygen mask to her face for 3 hours at the vet.The only thing helping me from complete dispair is staying away from the alcohol as hard as it is.It doubles my depression.My therapist says numbing myself is cheating her of the feelings I should be feeling that go along with how much I love her if that makes any sense. Your dear pup, Pepper wants you to be happy again and I hope one day you will be to
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Hi Sadie,
I'm so very sorry for your loss and sort of know what you are going through. I lost my 10 month old lurcher x labradoodle puppy Jojo just this Saturday, albeit in different circumstances. My beautiful girl was hit by a car - she ran out of the field that I was walking her in (which she never ever does, her recall was perfect normally, so I can only assume she was after a rabbit or similar). I feel like the tears are never going to stop and have turned to alcohol and sleeping tablets the last two nights just to try and force myself asleep. The only comfort I can offer you is that you are not alone in your suffering and that (I'm told) it will eventually ease. My partner also passed on a really lovely quote to me that someone told him and it did give me a little comfort....I hope maybe it helps you, even just a little, it's "To live on in the hearts of those we love is never to die".
Please take care of yourself - I'm trying to and I know how hard it is, as I don't want to eat, leave the house, do anything other than cry. But we have to try and be strong, as our babies wouldn't want us to suffer too.
Skye x
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 Hi, I am so sorry for your loss and intense pain. It really hurts. The pain is real. We are all here going through the pain of loss. But for each of it is is a little bit different. Bless your heart for giving a happy life to your baby for a while. A short life. :-( But one with love and caring. I for one as an animal lover am happy you did that and so was Sadie. I am sorry your time with her was short. Were here for you. I just lost my beautiful best friend Star 2 weeks ago and am in denial, still numb and still at times in shock. Nothing I can say will help. But I understand. I really do.
RIP our beautiful shining Star. We love you and will miss you always and forever.
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This is for ALL of you -
I don't know why  it jumped so far down but the words still mean the same -
Please come back and post pictures of your babies so we can get to know them better
through you.
Sadie - Your precious Pepper may have just been a baby but YOU filled her life with  LOVE.
You do not have to eat and, believe me I understand no wanting to be home without our babies.
I would go to the grocery store and sit in the driveway out front in the car not wanting to go inside
and often fell asleep in the car because I also could not sleep without my boy right next to me.
Once again -you do not have to eat if you cannot but you need
to get enough non-alcoholic and non-caffeine fluid so as not to dehydrate as that can be
very dangerous for you. Your precious little Pepper Loves you so much she would never want your
kidneys to have problems also.
We truly all understand here and we are always here for you.
I am so very sorry for the loss of your precious BABIES.

Grief is awful and there is nothing else like this pain.

I am divorced - when I was married I buried my son- at that time I became a Certified Grief
Counselor- I used the same graveside service for my Bear as I did for my son.

Please know that when we lose someone we love we don't stop loving them -

The soul bound connection that is between our babies and ourselves is forever.

Nothing - not death- tears -grief - or sadness will ever break the ties between us for those ties are made of LOVE so strong that NOTHING will ever sever those connections.

Grief is not something we get over but something that we learn -slowly- over time- to incorporate into our lives until it becomes a part of us like our bones and our breath.

Please know that we all understand here and we are all here for you.

You Are In My Thoughts.








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