Yesterday was the hardest day of my life in so long....At 12:45pm my dear dear friend, Angel Bear was put down after 3 days of being in the doggy hospital. Angel who never turned down food stopped taking her treats last week. Prior to that, she had gone deaf and was starting to experience a little bit of doggy senility. I look back now and I am trying so hard to not think of the "what if" I had done something different would she still be here with me.
I have lost animals before, but this one was special. From the moment I found Angel Bear, we instantly bonded. When we lost her once, a neighbor down the street attempted to keep her. But Angel was so determined to come home that when I went to their door, once she heard my voice, she bolted out of the house into my arms.
Angel was always a protector and always a love to our family. When my parents became seriously ill many years ago, I took her to the nursing home and she comforted my father. And she has maintained watch over my family for 12 years now with a current family member also being ill, Angel was at her side day in and day out.
My heart is broken today and the pain is far worse than anything I would have or could have imagined. We were fortunate that she came home from the hospital for 15 hours and fought long and hard to stay one more day with her family. But when I saw her get up from her bed and waddle over to her daughters' bed, falling along the way, I knew in my heart she wanted to be close to them one last time. She fought hard but the hepatitis and pancreatitis took over her body. Today I can only think that maybe we should have caught it sooner as I am sure so many people go through, but she only stopped drinking and eating one day before I took her to the vet.
The miracle in all of this is I was so close with her, I felt her time was going to be short when one day my daughter and I went to the animal shelter. I walked in to the cutest little blond Chihuahua that looked at me and I knew Angel had a hand in finding this baby for me. We brought her home and today, I realize that Angel knew we needed a young dog to help us handle our grief. We are fortunate enough to have her live on in her 2 daughters that we have, Pooh Bear and BooBoo Bear. BooBoo is the spitting image or her mama, acts like her, plays like her, etc. But they too are older dogs and the new one is only 6.
I hope as the days go on this is easier because now I cannot seem to stop the tears. I cannot look out of bed to see her anymore and watch her jump as the vacuum goes by. I cannot watch her sun bathing in the backyard on her favorite place in the corner of the pavement. And most of all, I wish I had taken her to the park more often to enjoy the grass. But now I know she has grass unlimited to enjoy.
She sighed as they put her to sleep and I know my little Angel that you were so glad we were there with you as you passed from this journey into the next.

Thanks for listening everyone. I really needed to talk about her this morning.

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Dear Angel's Mom,

My heart breaks with yours today.  What a wonderful story of love and devotion!  There is no pain like the pain of losing a best friend who is so close that they know us inside and out. 

You did everything right.  If only our animals could talk to tell us they don't feel well, or something isn't right.  Maybe then, we could head these things off and buy more time with them.  But even if they could tell us what's wrong, they might not.  They are hard-wired to hide signs of weakness in order to survive in the wild.  So, we do the best we can with the information and resources we have at the time.  It breaks our hearts when we discover that they are so sick, and it always seems so sudden to us.

Angel Bear will live in spirit and in your heart forever and always.  Talk to her, pet her where she always stood and sat by you.  She will hear you r words and feel your touch.  It will help you adjust to this sickening new state of normal.  You will heal in time, little by little.  Please come back and tell us more about Angel Bear's life with you as you are able to. Do your best to bring those happy pup memories to the surface.  They will come through a flood of tears, but they will help you to heal.

You, your family, and your beautiful angel, Angel Bear, are in my thoughts and prayers.

My heart is battered and bruised, but I will not let it break. It holds such precious cargo, I must protect it now. (Susie Squillions)

"Memories of loved ones are like songs in our soul." Margaret Wakeley




In one of the stars, I shall be living.
In one of them, I shall be laughing.
And so it will be as if all the stars were laughing when you look at the sky at night.
~ The Little Prince, Antoine de Saint-Exupery
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