AlannahHutka
Hello everyone, thanks for welcoming me here. In 2016 a cat was brought to us when or other cat went missing with no return. Originally it was thought to maybe have been said cat. The same day, our other cat was found and returned, but we kept our new buddy anyway since he was a stray needing a home. His age unknown, he flourished with us until 2:51 pm yesterday, October 12 2017. He seemed odd the last few days. Aloof and sleepy. Reserved. But nothing alarming, just seemed to be in lazy kitty mode.

I found him lying on his side, eyes dilated, his held and body would fall back down when picked up. I fed him water and tried to comfort him. I told
Him he would pull through. But he didn't. His eyes stayed fixated on me until his last breath, and they haunt me. I see them. I hear his strained, dying meows back as we tried to talk to each other one last time. I have so much regret I couldn't save him or didn't know what happened soon enough too. He may have been older for what we know. His he. Ever was really hit on the head.

I cannot stop crying. I cannot sleep. I jolt awake with his eyes piercing at me. I swear I see him. I swear he's here but I know he is gone.

I am new to grieving for a pet that I've owned and loved. He wa sa service per for social anxiety and depression as well.

I just want help. I want to know if he is here still waiting to cross fully because he knows I'm hurting. I Jsut don't know what to do from here. My counselor even can't help me in a way that resonates.
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Ollies_Grieving_Mama
I am so sorry. That must have been very traumatic. I'm sure he was thankful that you were there to comfort him when he needed you the most.
Ollie's Grieving Mama
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Marie123
Oh he looks just like my girl Raven who's gone! I'm so sorry! Black cats are my favorite! What was his name? He's precious!
You took this little guy in and gave him love when nobody else did. That's such a wonderful kind thing. And sometimes animals hide their symptoms from us. If you hadn't given him a home, even though it was for a short time, he probably wouldn't have made it this long. He most likely would have died alone in an alley, cold, hungry and scared, not in a warm home with a kind person holding him. For that I'm sure he could never thank you enough. God bless you for helping an innocent little stray that needed you. Don't beat yourself up. He might have had a preexisting condition that led to this. Or he might have been injured or like you said older.
Talk to him, tell him you love him. Maybe write a little letter and put it in his bed with his toys. They hear us, I know they do. And come here whenever you need to. Grief is never easy, but knowing you're not alone can help.
You gave this precious baby love, and that's what matters. Blessings to you 🐱


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gizmomybaby
Aw what a beautiful baby am deeply sorry for your loss the grieving is natural and its a hard thing to cope with , I lost my boy nearly ten weeks ago and am crushed like others on here , youv came to the right place with beautiful people who understands your grief let It all out on here , its like having a family on here that give you support and reading others story's will let you know your not alone & weer here for you, I believe our baby's are still with us at home in spirit, I had to go and see a spiritualist when mu boy past to know he was ok , I was told all my family & friends in the spirit world was waiting for him and he was no long there to he came back to us . It still doesn't help the hurt but a sware I have saw him a few times . I miss ma boy gizmo terribly and I will never get over it just learn to live with it x plz take care and know wee are here , sorry I couldnt give much support but plz know am thinking of you sending you love and hugs at this hard time , Annemarie
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Marie123
He really looks like my girl Raven. Precious baby 🐱
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AlannahHutka
I want to thank each and every one of you for your kindness. I'd like to offer more personalized responses to you each, but as we speak, I've burst into tears again reading about cats dying and guilt and grief. I am struggling immensely. We planned on cremation, but bruised him by a big beautiful tree out front as the wait time is long for cremation and very far. I wish I'd have made a cement imprint of his paws. My daughter tied a note to a balloon (non helium) and set it atop the grave. I pray he knows we love him.

His name was "captain" Spock. And I feel ashamed I didn't realize he was telling me was dying over the course of a few days. Hiding under the chaise instead of on it, and I shooed him out the girls' closet assuming he was up to no good despite it taking him forever to get up and scurry out. He just wanted a spot to go. I also regret being loud on the phone crying to everyone as he went since I panicked. I was holding him but still begging for family to help. My mom did arrive after to help me cope a bit.

I am really hoping the Monday candle lighting ceremony helps. He is being honored in it if any of you will be on for it.

I send my condolences to each of you who've lost a pet too. We are all in this together. I'm sorry I'm not myself and replying personally as I should to each. I Jsut cannot stop crying yet again.
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AlannahHutka
Marie123 wrote:
He really looks like my girl Raven. Precious baby 🐱
perhaps he and raven caused some black cat magic on the 13th up beyond the rainbow bridge :) that thought gave me a smile of him with a new friend
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Ollies_Grieving_Mama
It's OK to be overwhelmed right now. If you ever want to talk about him and the good (or bad or mediocre) times you had with him, there are a lot of ears to "listen"
Ollie's Grieving Mama
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Marie123
I love the thought that the black cats were causing some mischief! I really needed that image as I've been missing my girl more than ever lately. Probably because of Halloween. I'm so sorry to hear about Spock. Love that name! I bet he was a blast. Don't worry, he knows he's loved and will be watching the ceremony at the Bridge. My love and prayers go out to all of you as well. Take care now 🐱
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