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redgirlraven

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Posts: 106
Reply with quote  #61 
James I disagree you were with him! As has already been expressed I wish I had been with my boy when he passed. You didn’t betray him. You loved him! You hurt because of how intensely you lived him.
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Mysweetsimba

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Reply with quote  #62 
Hi James. It's 4 weeks today for me. The guilt, oh the guilt. Having to make the decision feels really...un natural. Its like we are mid evolution, still trying to understand ourselves and those around us. Marmalade did not struggling with his knowledge of himself or if you, or anyone. He just loved you. He just like his kitty girlfriend. He just hanged around to say hi to the Peeps I the neighborhood. You don't know what's it's like until you go through it. It's crap. So bad. You wonder why why, even though you know it would always happen. Maybe like me you learned like me that to love is to have pain. To move on is to forget. And to forget is to not care. We will find a way out of this James. The shear psychology of this is a mind boggle and maybe learning through this process is a way to learn about ourselves and deal with things we don't really want to deal with, becoming better and stronger people. I wish you a day of remembrance, finishing of sweetly with gratitude and honour of having such an amazing kitty in your life.
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Sayuri

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Reply with quote  #63 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ronnie
Hi Sayuri,

I had to reply to your post. I know what you mean about feeling guilty for what you think you should have done...I too have regrets, about not getting my baby boy to the doctor earlier in the day. I had plenty of time, but didn't realize how bad his condition was until it was too late...he died just a few minutes before I got him to the doctor, and had I done so earlier he might still be alive. I just want you to know, that I am also dealing with insurmountable guilt and am having a hard time accepting my mistake...my condolences!
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Sayuri

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Reply with quote  #64 
Thank you Ronnie. The minute I woke up this morning, I was crying. I cried for a long time. I gathered enough energy to feed my other dogs and cats, and did nebulizer on my sick cat. I have been trying to give more attention to my 15 year old dog with liver cancer. She doesn't have long, but I can tell you she will cross over while in my arms and have vet come to the house. Sayuri was not in a life death situation. I knew better than to leave her. Vet knew she was a scared dog, semiferal. I miss her so much.
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Mysweetsimba

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Reply with quote  #65 
Sayuri omg you have so much on your hands in sorry. What's the matter with your kitty, and how long has your dog had liver cancer? What treatments are you using?
You are dealing with a lot, you are showing greater strength then you realise in such a situation.
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Sayuri

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Posts: 58
Reply with quote  #66 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mysweetsimba
Sayuri omg you have so much on your hands in sorry. What's the matter with your kitty, and how long has your dog had liver cancer? What treatments are you using?
You are dealing with a lot, you are showing greater strength then you realise in such a situation.
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Sayuri

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Posts: 58
Reply with quote  #67 
Silky has chronic respiratory problems that no vet has been able to successfully treat her for it. We've taken her to many and specialist. She's been put on antibiotics, she's now permanently on one every three days, she's had steroids shots three times, and it helps her for a few days. She sneezes, but first does like a snort, so she can then get mucus out.

She's 15 and was probably six months when we found her. She had one eye protruding out of her socket, and looked like someone tried to hang her with wire. It was rotting. She hasn't had an easy life. Her last CBC showed she's got liver disease. Still low levels, but give her K/D

Took Mary to oncologist when vet saw a mass in liver. Said couldn't operate, she had nodules spread out and a big mass. That was last November, oncologist said 2-6 months to live, but it's been ten months. Besides that she has liver failure, and arthritis. She's also 15. But see, I've been emotionally preparing myself for them, even though I know it'll still be so hard, but with Sayuri it was so unexpected. She was didn't have a terminal disease. They were rare but manageable. She wasn't supposed to go yet. She was the most grateful, sweetest little girl. I'm angry at the neurologist. She didn't even have a fever. Should've just given her fluids. I'm sorry I'm rambling. It's just been such a bad day. Thanks for reading.
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Sayuri

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Posts: 58
Reply with quote  #68 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mysweetsimba
Sayuri omg you have so much on your hands in sorry. What's the matter with your kitty, and how long has your dog had liver cancer? What treatments are you using?
You are dealing with a lot, you are showing greater strength then you realise in such a situation.
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Sayuri

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Posts: 58
Reply with quote  #69 
Mary is on gabapentin, Meloxicam, denamarin and glycoflex III. I only use saline solution w purified water on nebulizer for silky, but I think I need to see if there's something else bc she's really sounding so stuffed up.
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Mysweetsimba

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Posts: 60
Reply with quote  #70 
My heart goes out to you. Go on Facebook, there are forums that might help. Lots of people seem to be using http://www.healing-project.info.
And getting really positive results. I know what it feels like to feel let down by vets. It's awful.
I hope tomorrow you feel a little better, and the next day, a little more, until you are able to remember Sayuri with nothing but love.
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redgirlraven

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Posts: 106
Reply with quote  #71 
Do you know about daybydaypetsupport.com they are there to support pet caregivers during serious and end of life illnesses.
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Olliexxx

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Posts: 37
Reply with quote  #72 
Wow what a fantastic story about Marmalade..a well loved cat who needed you just as much you needed him..
I am sorry for all your losses and what we are going through.
Im also in the 'Thursday Cat Club' as my beautiful baby boy Ollie was put to sleep 4 days ago and im heartbroken to say the least..he was my best buddie and love of my life..
Ive slept downstairs on the sofa past 2 nights as cant bear to sleep in my bed where we share snuggles evry nite..he used to 'suckle' on my neck for comfort..
Ive not eaten coz i feel guilty that i had to let him go.
Im just missing him so much hes left a hole in my heart..
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Ronnie

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Posts: 42
Reply with quote  #73 
I also felt guilty for eating for a time. I felt like I shouldn't have any comfort since I let my baby boy slip through my hands because of my hesitation and misinterpretation of what was really going on. I failed and feel guilty for even being alive while my precious Talyn slipped through my hands. my condolences to you as well.
Ronnie A,-Talyn's Daddy https://www.rainbowsbridge.com/residents/TALYN001/Resident.htm

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Olliexxx

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Reply with quote  #74 
Thankyou ronnie..
Your Talyn was a beautiful boy..i wished i had my ollie for as long as you had Talyn but it wasnt meant to be..he was only 5yrs old..so sorry ollie..😢
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Ronnie

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Reply with quote  #75 
Thak you Ollie. My sincerest condolences again, I share your pain.

Ronnie - Talyn's Daddy https://www.rainbowsbridge.com/residents/TALYN001/Resident.htm

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