JinglesMom

These beautiful words written by Martin Scot Kosins hold true for so many of us who have lost a beloved pet, and along with them, a little piece of our heart. We will eventually get to that fourth day, we just need to believe that they are still so close, and to know that we can feel their beautiful spirit which surrounds us forevermore. The bond cannot be broken, the love never dies, and this is so not the end of our story.

If you ever love an animal, there are three days in your life you will always remember...

The first is a day, blessed with happiness, when you bring home your young new friend. You may have spent weeks deciding on a breed. You may have asked numerous opinions of many vets, or done long research in finding a breeder.

Or, perhaps in a fleeting moment, you may have just chosen that silly looking animal in a shelter - simply because something in its eyes reached your heart. But when you bring that chosen pet home, and watch it explore, and claim its special place in your hall or front room - and when you feel it brush against you for the first time - it instills a feeling of pure love you will carry with you through the many years to come.

The second day will occur eight or nine or ten years later. It will be a day like any other. Routine and unexceptional. But, for a surprising instant, you will look at your longtime friend and see age where you once saw youth. You will see slow deliberate steps where you once saw energy. And you will see sleep where you once saw activity. So you will begin to adjust your friend's diet - and you may add a pill or two to her food. And you may feel a growing fear deep within yourself, which bodes of a coming emptiness. And you will feel this uneasy feeling, on and off, until the third day finally arrives.

And on this day, if your friend and God have not decided for you, you will be faced with making a decision of your own - on behalf of your lifelong friend, and with the guidance of your own deepest Spirit. But whichever way your friend eventually leaves you, you will feel as alone as a single star in the dark night.

If you are wise, you will let the tears flow as freely and as often as they must. And if you are typical, you will find that not many in your circle of family or friends will be able to understand your grief, or comfort you.

But if you are true to the love of the pet you cherished through the many joy-filled years, you may find that a soul - a bit smaller in size than your own - seems to walk with you, at times, during the lonely days to come. And at moments when you least expect anything out of the ordinary to happen, you may feel something brush against your leg - very very lightly. And looking down at the place where your dear, perhaps dearest, friend used to lay - you will remember those three significant days.

The memory will most likely be painful, and leave an ache in your heart. As time passes the ache will come and go as it has a life of its own. You will both reject it and embrace it, and it may confuse you. If you reject it, it will depress you. If you embrace it, it will deepen you. Either way, it will still be an ache.

But there will be, I assure you, a fourth day when - along with the memory of your pet, and piercing through the heaviness in your heart - there will come a realization that belongs only to you. It will be as unique and strong as our relationship with each animal we have loved, and lost. This realization takes the form of a Living Love - like the heavenly scent of a rose that remains after the petals have wilted, this Love will remain and grow - and be there for us to remember.

It is a love we have earned. It is the legacy our pets leave us when they go. And it is a gift we may keep with us as long as we live. It is a Love which is ours alone. And until we ourselves leave, perhaps to join our Beloved Pets - it is a Love that we will always possess. 

By Martin Scot Kosins


__________________
Pamela Lynne Crawford
Pamela Lynne Crawford
Quote 0 0
Sampson
Dear Jingles Mom, this just brought tears to my eyes. I’ve seldom read anything so true or so beautiful. Thank you for sharing this. I think it will bring comfortable to those who will read it. Take Care,
Sam
Quote 0 0
JinglesMom
Dear Sam,
Thank you so much for your very kind words about the story I posted. This beautiful piece of writing always brings such tears to my eyes as it is so very sad but so very true. I remember all three days with my beloved little ones, and I must say that the very first day was our happiest. There is just such pure and utter joy when we first bring them home, and the bonding begins, then before we know it, they have wrapped themselves completely around our heart and our soul. We fall completely and hopelessly in love with these dear little souls who make such a difference in our life and our world. I miss my three little angels more than words could ever say, but I can still feel them so close. I believe that no matter how much time goes by, their special love will always surround me, until our eyes meet once more, on the other side. I can only hope that this story will bring comfort and peace to those who are hurting, and that the light will break through the darkness for those walking this long journey of grief. Take care Sam and thank you so much for your nice message, and I wish you hope in your heart, courage in your soul. and brighter days ahead. Hugs, JaspersMom
Pamela Lynne Crawford
Quote 0 0
pannklaus
That is so beautiful and meaningful to me too.  It applies in different ways to different fur babies I have had in my life.  Each one has been unique and holds a special place in my heart.  When Ii was young as my baby would age I would be concerned but wouldn't connect it with the day that I too would pass on to another world. Now that I am well into the last season of life, the connections between the spirits of my fur babies and the knowledge that I will also enter their world is very real.  

Thank you for a unique post which describes the experiences we have with our pets in a way that I hadn't thought of before.
Patsy
Quote 0 0
JinglesMom
Dear Patsy,
Thank you so much for your kind words to "A Living Love". I found this story shortly after my first devastating loss of my beloved cat Jasper. You are so right that the words hold true, and that they apply in such different ways to each of our fur babies. My beautiful cat Jasper was taken away from me so young, at only seven years of age. I never really was able to arrive at the so called second day, because he was so healthy, strong, and vibrant. I really never looked at him and felt uneasy about age slowing him down and taking him away from me, because he was so full of youth and energy, until he lost his battle with a brain tumor. It took him so quickly, in a matter of three days my boy declined so much physically, but he still had his amazing spirit, and he tried so very hard to stay here on this earth with me. He fought the good fight all the way up until the very end. To this day, I feel cheated out of so many years with my special boy, but the seven years we did have together were so wonderful, and so filled with pure joy, and I would not trade that for anything, even in spite of the awful pain of losing him. 

My sweet little kitty Pootie Tang was taken from me at the age of thirteen because of that horrific C word. Cancer is so insidious and sneaks up on you so quickly, and before I knew it, my dear baby girl was becoming just a shadow of her former self physically, but she still kept her amazing and indomitable spirit. Even though she was getting older, she still looked like a kitten, because she was always so tiny. I used to call her my little pocket kitty, because I could probably fit her right in my pocket. She was not as big as a minute, and she was so quiet, I could count on one hand the number of times I heard her meow. That little girl of mine was pure sweetness and light, she was a little black and white bundle of fur with the heart and soul of a lioness. She was the epitome of courage and strength, so tiny, but so blessed with that never give up spirit.  

I am so fortunate that my darling Jingles made it to be almost eighteen. I did make it to the third day for him. I would often hold him in my arms our last few months together, and look right into his eyes, and tell him if there ever was a time when we were not together, for him to come and meet me in my dreams. We would find each other again in a dream, because dreams are windows to the soul after all. With each birthday of his, I would feel so grateful, but just a bit uneasy in seeing how he was slowing down, especially in the last year or so. When he would have an issue now and then, he would always bounce back, and I would call him my little energizer kitty, because he kept going and going, until his precious little body just could not go anymore.

And he was so sweet and so brave, with such a beautiful spirit. He never gave in, and he never gave up, and he fought so hard to stay here with me. Losing him was truly the winter of my soul. I literally felt my heart break into a million little pieces. He was such a part of me, and he was my once in a lifetime. I have often thought, if I can make it through this last loss, I can make it through anything. I am still a work in progress, and I have good days, not so good days, and some days that all I can think of is that I am one day closer to Jingles, and Jasper, and Pootie Tang. Not a good way to live your life by counting down the days until you see them again, but still trying to live my best life while I am here, just like they did.

I am so glad that this story was as meaningful to you as it was to me, and you did have an interesting take on it.  You are so right when you say that each fur baby is unique and holds a special place in our hearts. I always tell those who are thinking about adopting again after such a profound loss, that there is always room for one more. No matter how broken you are, no matter how the colors seem to go out of our world, when they choose us, they somehow someway find their way into our hearts, and once they are inside, there is no going back. We fall completely and hopelessly in love with them, forever and a day. Thank you again Patsy for your kind reply and for your keen perception on this story, it allowed me to see it from a different perspective with each one of my dear little ones. Thank you also for helping so many on this forum, I have read quite a few of your posts to those who are hurting, and your words are always filled with such compassion and understanding. You really do make such a difference. Take care and I wish you the peace, comfort, and light that you give to so many. Hugs, Pamela
Pamela Lynne Crawford
Quote 0 0
jerigraehl
Beautiful and so so true. There is so much joy in falling in love with a pet an then there is the indescribable pain when they are gone and the pain of that part of the journey.  It is a testamony to the love they give you and the purity of the bond you share that makes one willing to adopt another knowing what suffering comes later. Jeri
jerigraehl
Quote 0 0
JinglesMom
Dear Jeri,
Your words are so true that there is so much joy in falling in love with our pet, yet indescribable pain when they are gone, and the pain is part of that journey. I love how you wrote "It is a testimony to the love they give you and the purity of the bond you share that makes one willing to adopt later, knowing what suffering comes later". I truly believe that the only worse thing than going through the devastation of such a deep and profound loss of my dear little ones, would be if I had never known them at all. That would plummet me into sadness, knowing how much sweetness and love I missed out on, simply because I could not bear the pain that was to come later. Thank you so much for your reply and for your words so filled with such a special understanding of what so many of us are going through. Pamela
Pamela Lynne Crawford
Quote 0 0
Tamirae
So beautiful. So true. I miss my sweet Stella desperately every day. While I struggle to adjust to life without her, I do feel her presence from time to time which brings me joy followed by tears. Thank you for the beautiful post.
Quote 0 0
deedee76
so beautiful thank you for sharing I lost my dog last Friday he was only 6 and I feel cheated, sad, angry and tired.  I'm lost

Dee

Quote 0 0
JinglesMom
Tamirae wrote:
So beautiful. So true. I miss my sweet Stella desperately every day. While I struggle to adjust to life without her, I do feel her presence from time to time which brings me joy followed by tears. Thank you for the beautiful post.
,

Dear Tamirae,
I am so very sorry for the loss of your sweet Stella, and my heart truly goes out to you. It is so good to hear that you can feel your girl's presence from time to time, and hold on tight to that. I lost my beloved cat Jasper over five years ago, and he is as close to me now as when he was physically here. My sweet little kitty named Pootie Tang left this world a year and a half ago, and her sweet spirit surrounds me still. Then I had to say such a sad and unexpected goodbye to my darling cat Jingles on the last day of January this year, and I can feel him and his special sweetness all around me.

I used to worry that with time, our connection might fade like a candle in the wind, but nothing could be further from the truth. The bond cannot be broken, and the love never ends, it just keeps getting stronger. Thank you so much for your kind words about this lovely story, and I hope you are able to take away a little comfort and peace from it. Take care and please know that I will be keeping you in my thoughts and prayers for hope in your heart and courage in your soul, you are going to be alright, and one day you will be able to smile at the precious memories, your beautiful girl would not want it any other way. I wish you brighter days ahead filled with the light and love of your beautiful Stella. Hugs, JinglesMom
Pamela Lynne Crawford
Quote 0 0
JinglesMom
deedee76 wrote:
so beautiful thank you for sharing I lost my dog last Friday he was only 6 and I feel cheated, sad, angry and tired.  I'm lost


Dear Deedee,
I am so sorry to hear about the loss of your beloved dog. How tragic that he was only six, and I can imagine that you feel so cheated out of so much time with him. I lost my dear cat Jasper at the young age of seven five years ago. He was diagnosed with a brain tumor, which took my strong, healthy, vibrant boy away from me in just a few days. I can so relate to how your are feeling. I was just devastated and I also was angry that I had lost out on so much time with him. To this day, I sometimes count down the years, and think, he should be right here with me now, in the prime of his life. Whenever we lose them, it is unbelievably hard and so sad, but when they are taken from us so young, there is an extra component there. They should still be right here with us, and we feel that, every single moment of every single day.

I will be keeping you in my thoughts and prayers for peace and healing, and please know that you are not alone. Your sweet doggie is still so close, and he can feel your love for him even now. The bond cannot be broken, and the love never ends, it just keeps getting stronger. I did not believe it when I first lost my Jasper, but time is the great healer, and even though we will always hurt, and even though the missing them never ends, the rough edges get just a bit softer. One day instead of mourning their passing, we will be able to celebrate their life, but that definitely takes some time.

I lost my sweet little kitty Pootie Tang a year and a half ago, she was thirteen, and had cancer. It was so awful to watch this terrible disease take her away from me. Then I lost my darling cat Jingles on the last day of January this year, and he was almost eighteen, so time is what took him away from me. He died in my arms struggling for breath, and it was so traumatic and oh so sad, because he was my once in a lifetime. I am still a work in progress, I have some good days, and I have some bad days, and sometimes a memory will take me right back to square one, but I always try to hold on to my faith. H.O.P.E. Hold On, Pain Ends.  I miss them all so much, more than words could ever say, but I can still feel their beautiful spirit all around me. I wish you brighter days ahead filled with the light and love of your dear doggie, and always know that he  will never ever leave your heart, and he is as close as your calling out his name. Take care and please know that I am so very sorry for your loss. Hugs, JinglesMom
Pamela Lynne Crawford
Quote 0 0
deedee76
Thank you so much for your kind words you have no idea how much it means to me and I am sorry for your losses over the years I have so many emotions right now and I'm so tired but I know with time it will get easier I just miss him so so much and I feel guilty and ashamed that I couldn't help him more when I was the one person he had. Thank you so much JinglesMom bless you for taking the time to help me I really do appreciate it x

Dee

Quote 0 0
SophiaRose
Thank you JinglesMom for this post. I am new to this forum as I seek out help to manage this deep grief I feel after saying goodbye to my dog Sophia on the 11th of this month. She was almost 14 years old and was my soulmate. I am married but called her the love of my life because she was. The pain and heartache I feel is numbing. I feel like I am literally going through the motions of life- my joy is gone. I feel tinges of happy but this underlying pain. I miss her terribly. And am having trouble accepting she is gone. After reading your post I guess I am waiting for that 4th day.
I know love never leaves but how do I get back to me? Will I get back to me? Maybe the me now has changed without her in my life. Everyone says time will heal but I think it’s more about accepting her loss, understanding the love and embracing the life we had.
Quote 0 0
JinglesMom
SophiaRose wrote:
Thank you JinglesMom for this post. I am new to this forum as I seek out help to manage this deep grief I feel after saying goodbye to my dog Sophia on the 11th of this month. She was almost 14 years old and was my soulmate. I am married but called her the love of my life because she was. The pain and heartache I feel is numbing. I feel like I am literally going through the motions of life- my joy is gone. I feel tinges of happy but this underlying pain. I miss her terribly. And am having trouble accepting she is gone. After reading your post I guess I am waiting for that 4th day.
I know love never leaves but how do I get back to me? Will I get back to me? Maybe the me now has changed without her in my life. Everyone says time will heal but I think it’s more about accepting her loss, understanding the love and embracing the life we had.


Dear SophiaRose,
First of all, let me tell you how very sorry I am to hear about the loss of your beloved Sophia. It has only been fourteen days since you said such a sad goodbye to her, so the pain must be unbearable, and believe me, I so understand. I can really relate to your words about her being your soulmate. Once in a lifetime, a very special one will come along, and they will wrap themselves completely around our heart and soul. Once they look up at us with those sweet eyes of theirs, once they trust us implicitly, once they give us that pure joy of unconditional love, well there is no going back. I always say that my dear kitties had me at the first meow. It is amazing how quickly we become attached to these precious little souls, and once they find their way in, they are ours forevermore, until we see them again on the other side, in a kinder, gentler place.

I love how you call your sweet girl the love of your life, because she was and is, and I have always called my sweet Jingles, Jasper, and Pootie Tang just that. They will always and forever be the little loves of my life, if they were still here on this earth with me, or now that they are beyond the rainbow. I know that you are waiting for that 4th day, and it does take time. I lost my darling boy Jingles in January of this year, and I am still a work in progress. I will think that I am doing so much better, then some little memory or something so seemingly insignificant will take me right back to square one, and my the tears will come, and my heart will break all over again. You just have to be gentle with yourself, and try to take it one day at a time, baby steps, and you also need to let the sadness out. Coming to this forum where so many understand and can relate to what you are going through is such a big step to ease some of the sorrow, and to know above all that you are not alone.

Write to your Sophia, write about her, talk to her, call her name, you may not be able to see her with your eyes, but you can always feel her with your heart. The bond cannot be broken, and the love never ends, it just keeps getting stronger. You will get back to you, I promise you this, but it will be a different you. This journey of grief never gets easier per say, it just gets different, and we do learn to eventually live with this so called new normal, and we learn to incorporate it into our very lives, and it is not easy, but the struggle is so worth the love and the light that they brought into our world. Sometimes we have to feel broken for a time, in order for the light to come shining through.

 When all is said and done, the one fact remains that we do not want these memories, we want them back with us where they belong, but if we can't have that, at least we can hold on to them so tightly and feel their beautiful spirit all around us, and know that this is not the end, but the beginning of a new relationship, and one that is based on hope, faith, and that everlasting connection. One of the most important things for you to remember is that when your beautiful Sophia was crossing that bridge and going towards the light, she felt you with her the whole way. She knew how much she was loved, and she can feel your love for her even now.

One of my favorite quotes has always been "Love knows not it's own depth until the hour of separation". Oh how so many of us here can relate to that, I know that you and I both can. I can so feel your pain and sadness and only wish that I had the words to make it better, but all I know is that sometimes we have to walk through the valley, and that so often we come out stronger, deeper, and with a new perception of how precious and fleeting life is. I will be keeping you in my thoughts and prayers for peace and healing, just keep hope in your heart and faith in your soul, and know that one day instead of mourning her passing, you will be able to celebrate her life, a life so well lived, and a life so very loved. I wish you brighter days ahead filled with the radiant light and the beautiful love of your very special Sophia. She will never ever leave your heart. Hugs, JinglesMom
Pamela Lynne Crawford
Quote 0 0
SophiaRose
I am embracing your reply and your words so tightly. From the bottom of my heart I am so appreciative of all of the time you took to acknowledge my grief and write this to me.

You’re right. It has only been 14 days. The emotion is so raw. “Have grace on yourself” are words that were shared with me years ago and I have to remember now more than ever.

Thank you so very much for replying to my message. It means everything.
Quote 0 0