Hi everyone...I have been researching how to deal with grieving for our dog and I learned pet forums can help.  In October 2016 we took our lovely 9 week puppy home and we named her Maggie.  She was a beautiful chocolate lab.  Our love grew and grew for our sweet girl.  She would live for us to come home and give her attention....sitting next to us on the couch and loving the touch from petting her.  She loved to fetch balls and chase the cats in our home.  Only one month ago she started to get sick.  She was coughing and had diarrhea and then I noticed her belly was getting bigger and feeling like a water balloon.  When I took her to the vet he told me right away something was very wrong and he had to keep her for the morning and do some tests.  He called me later that day (absolutely gut-wrenching waiting for that call) and told me her scans are showing masses in her body.  In her abdomen and her chest.  There is also fluid too.  He told me it was consistent with lymphoma.  There was no cure.  I was devastated.  We could not afford the extremely expensive chemo and I bought some prednisone to try and get give her quality of life for a few more months.  There was an improvement for about 2 weeks and then her belly started to grow more with more fluid.  It was affecting her breathing as she was very laboured at times and her mobility now being affected by her body changing.  She then started to have seizures.  This past week I was feeling so guilty because she was really struggling to breathe.  Me and my 2 daughters, ages 11 and 13, we were devastated we had to say goodbye.  She wasn't going to get any better and she would continue to suffer to breathe and that's not fair to her.  We only had her in our lives 3 years and I can't believe she is gone.  I really can't believe we had to let her go from our lives.  It's so very painful.   She was my baby.  I was her mama and she loved when we would touch foreheads and look at each other and hug so much.  I loved it too.  I still feel so much guilt for taking her to the vet to end her life.  I know it could have been so much worse and so much more suffering for her and that's why I made the decision to spare her.  But I still feel so bad for it.  I cry everyday, of course, and my youngest daughter cries with me.  It's just so very hard.  
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I want to extend my sympathies on the recent loss of your Maggie. Chocolate Labs are a beautiful breed. I am very familiar with them. I hope that you are able to come to terms with this (when you are able to) and realize that you were loving, doting pet parents and did the very best that you could. Your devotion and commitment to her come shining through with the words in your post. We all understand your situation. Please post here often and let us know how you're doing. Take care.

Sending comforting and peaceful thoughts your way,


Jim Miller
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I am am so sorry for the devastating loss of your Maggie. It is never easy, but the loss of a young pup us especially heartbreaking. Take heart that you filled Maggie's life with much love and a devoted family. The difficult decision to end her suffering was a loving act of selflessness. You thought of her first and endured the pain. I also had to let my girl go in 2018 after a terminal cancer diagnosis. It was the hardest thing I have ever done. But I promised to always care for her and loved her in life and death, just like you and Maggie.

We are all here for you as your journey through your grief. I wish you and your family peace in the new year.

Lori, Daisy's Mom and now Luna's Mom
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I’m so sorry for your loss. As many pets as we’ve had, as many times as we’ve had to make that gut-wrenching decision, it never gets any easier, even when we know it’s the right thing. I’ve often felt “how dare I play God?” We just have to pray our pets understand. Sending prayers of strength and peace your way.
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