OurloveMaggie
Hi everyone...I have been researching how to deal with grieving for our dog and I learned pet forums can help.  In October 2016 we took our lovely 9 week puppy home and we named her Maggie.  She was a beautiful chocolate lab.  Our love grew and grew for our sweet girl.  She would live for us to come home and give her attention....sitting next to us on the couch and loving the touch from petting her.  She loved to fetch balls and chase the cats in our home.  Only one month ago she started to get sick.  She was coughing and had diarrhea and then I noticed her belly was getting bigger and feeling like a water balloon.  When I took her to the vet he told me right away something was very wrong and he had to keep her for the morning and do some tests.  He called me later that day (absolutely gut-wrenching waiting for that call) and told me her scans are showing masses in her body.  In her abdomen and her chest.  There is also fluid too.  He told me it was consistent with lymphoma.  There was no cure.  I was devastated.  We could not afford the extremely expensive chemo and I bought some prednisone to try and get give her quality of life for a few more months.  There was an improvement for about 2 weeks and then her belly started to grow more with more fluid.  It was affecting her breathing as she was very laboured at times and her mobility now being affected by her body changing.  She then started to have seizures.  This past week I was feeling so guilty because she was really struggling to breathe.  Me and my 2 daughters, ages 11 and 13, we were devastated we had to say goodbye.  She wasn't going to get any better and she would continue to suffer to breathe and that's not fair to her.  We only had her in our lives 3 years and I can't believe she is gone.  I really can't believe we had to let her go from our lives.  It's so very painful.   She was my baby.  I was her mama and she loved when we would touch foreheads and look at each other and hug so much.  I loved it too.  I still feel so much guilt for taking her to the vet to end her life.  I know it could have been so much worse and so much more suffering for her and that's why I made the decision to spare her.  But I still feel so bad for it.  I cry everyday, of course, and my youngest daughter cries with me.  It's just so very hard.  
OurloveMaggie
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Jan_H
Crista,

I am very sorry for your loss of your sweet Maggie. I must be heartbreaking for you and your girls to lose Maggie when she was still so young. It is not fair. But it is clear that Maggie was very much loved and had a very wonderful life with you and your daughters. It is normal to feel guilt but you did the right thing by ending her suffering.

It can help to share memories, pictures and feelings when/if you and your girls are ready. I would recommend The Pet Loss Support forum here. People there helped me when I had to make that difficult decision for my sweet Jagger due to cancer.

Nothing wrong with posting under this category but I find there are many more people and responses at The Pet Loss category (same forum).

https://forums.rainbowsbridge.com/?forum=150830


My condolences,
Jan


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OurloveMaggie
Thank you Jan...I will do that and appreciate your help. 
OurloveMaggie
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