My sweet baby girl’s time has come to an end. All that’s left is the last call to put her to sleep. Her kidneys failed and her heart and there is no hope of recovery. Raven is a black chihuahua. She loved wearing sweaters to keep warm, she played with little stuffed toys we called her Little Guys, and every night she slept between my chest and my right arm. I’ve been a chihuahua mom for decades but she was my first little girl. A perfect dog. It’s hard, my house is filled with chihuahua statues, chihuahua t-shirts. I can’t have children so chihuahua mom is always who I’ve been. But, I don’t think I’ll ever be a chihuahua mom again. As we both got older, I began to realize that losing them is just too painful. There’s a quote in the book The Dog Stars, the main character survives an apocalypse with his dog. As the dog gets older, he asks the reader, “Is it possible to love so desperately that life is unbearable? I don’t mean unrequited. I mean being in the love. In the midst of it and desperate. Because knowing it will end, because everything does. End.” I’ve been living that recently and now the end has come. We still have her sister dog, a small pit-bull mix that we adopted as a puppy. River has never known life without Raven. Despite being so much bigger, River would let Raven win at tug of war. I don’t know what we are going to do without her and I just wanted to tell her story.