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Loobylu126

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Posts: 13
Reply with quote  #1 
One day you think you're coping, the next day you're really not. When you've looked at so many photos trying to capture the feel and soul of them. When you've cried so many tears when no one is looking and then you realise that nothing is going to bring them back... ever. That emptiness.
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Zelda

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Reply with quote  #2 
I know. My fur baby Teddy died about five weeks ago, and that feeling you described comes over me several times a day. It's so profoundly sad. Many days, I want nothing more than to be with him. Nothing really takes that pain away or fills the emptiness, not even my adorable new puppy. So at those times, I allow myself to cry. And then I pray to accept what I cannot change and pray that he and I will someday meet at the Rainbow Bridge and cross over together, forever. But also, I try to remember what Teddy taught me every day of his life, which was to live in the moment. I remember how happy he was when I occasionally left him in the care of friends that I trusted. Sure, he'd whine and cry when I left, and he always acted ecstatic when I returned, but I know from the photos and videos my friends would send of Teddy playing with the friend's dogs that he was capable of great happiness in my absence. And so, I try to honor that lesson by living in the present and being happy in the moment with what I have. Ive got a long way to go, but I'm trying. 


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Sagesmommy

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Reply with quote  #3 
Loobylu126,

I am so sorry for your loss. I truly understand how you feel. Its been a year and 6 months since i lost my sage and i still cry often. I have moments where i laugh thinking of how goofy she was then its followed by sadness knowing i will never see her again. The pain is unbearable and the memories haunt me. My anxiety has become worse since she has passed. She was always my comfort and i feel so lost without her. Who knew a dog could make me feel this way but she wasnt just any dog, she was my first baby. She was my companion through some rough times. Life is just not the same anymore. I recently got a tattoo of her paw print on my arm, i am so proud to carry it with me but the reminder of her not being here is hard. Not a day goes by that i dont think of her several times. Idk if it gets any better but i pray that one day i get to kiss her sweet brown nose again.
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Loobylu126

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Posts: 13
Reply with quote  #4 
Dear Sages Mommy thank you for your kind reply. It's so sad to know that things haven't got any easier for you. My anxiety has greatly heightened too. How do we come to terms with this? For me a part of the problem is I am afraid that she will become a distant memory and I will forget how she feels.I guess that is the way to honour them. It's by keeping them in our minds and in our hearts. I wish you some peace and I know that we will be reunited with them when our time comes xxx
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pannklaus

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Posts: 306
Reply with quote  #5 
You will never forget your precious Lpbby Lu.  Because you loved her so much, there will always be a special place in your heart for her.  The anxiety is a normal part of the grieving process as is the feeling of emptiness and being lost.  Everyone grieves in their  own way and at their own speed. What helps one person may not help another.  But everyone in the group understands your grief, the ups and downs, the especially bad days, the feelings that you are having.  We all pay the price of loving our fur babies so much by going though this grieving process when they are gone.  But most of us come to realize that the time that we had with our babies gave us a lot of wonderful memories and we come to be thankful for those days or years.  We eventually are able to go on with our daily routines but we never forget our beloved  babies who I believe are waiting for us at the Rainbow Bridge.


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Patsy
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Loobylu126

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Reply with quote  #6 
Thank you so much for your words. You are very good at comforting with the words you say. I am having another bad day. I just stupidly wasn't ready for her to go. It was so unexpected and I thought we had longer together. She was such a big part of my life it's massively empty now I know I am not alone in this. I know it will get better. I feel guilty like I may have unwittingly done something to cause the stress that bought on the cystitis that caused the bladder damage that finished her off. I just can't get on with anything in my life at the moment. I am just not ready for her to be part of my past if that makes sense.
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AZTiger98

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Posts: 225
Reply with quote  #7 
I can definitely relate.  My baby girl Stormy has been gone for just over a year now, and I'm STILL having bouts of tears and sadness over her.  I think it's like Patsy said, they mean so much to us, we can never truly forget them.

She will never be part of your past - always a part of her will stay with you.

Hang in there - you're in a place where we all understand each other's pain and heartache on some level.   It's hard, but the love they give us while they're here makes it so worth it in the end.
 

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David

Daddy to beloved fur baby Stormy
08/2003 - 05/19/18
Stormy’s Residency https://www.rainbowsbridge.com/residents/STORM059/Resident.htm
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Loobylu126

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Posts: 13
Reply with quote  #8 
Even now I feel it is worth the love. I think the main thing was the speed it all happened. I still feel shock. I am afraid I will forget how she feels. Has that happened to you after one year?
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MissingMyEmma

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Reply with quote  #9 
My sweet cat literally dropped dead in front of me (the necropsy revealed an aneurysm due to heart disease) in February and I am still feeling the effects of the shock.  I do panic at the thought of not remembering the essence of her personality and I find the only thing I can do is keep a journal of all of the details about her I do not want to forget.  I already completed one journal and am now on my second one.  It is very comforting to document her life and I get a feeling of relief after I make an entry.
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Loobylu126

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Posts: 13
Reply with quote  #10 
That's a great idea. I have a lovely notebook that I could use. I will start that tonight, keep it in my bag and just complete it as memories and thoughts come to me. I might stick photos in too. Thank you x

The sudden deaths are such a shock. I'm sorry about your cat too. X
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