BeachieGirl33
Well this Wednesday morning was that hateful day and 7 weeks since my Little kitty left for the Rainbow Bridge.  Our house has been so dark and sad.  My husband and myself have been so devastated over Little and we didn't seem to be getting any closer to having any closure.  I still can't sleep in my bed and we continue to keep candles burning.  I'm starting to accept that Little is gone and not coming back.  I still cry and I still hurt and ache.  Last week I was out and about and something told me to go in Petsmart and look at the kitties.  This little grey kitty jumped up to the window and started making biscuits on the window and "talking" to me.  I stood there and watched him until he jumped down.  I left and called my husband and told him to go by Petsmart on his way home from work and check out the kitties.  He did and he really liked the grey kitty. I went back the next day (Friday) and watched him again.  I called the rescue group and left a message.  Long story short, on Sunday afternoon we went and met Earl Grey (like the tea) in person.  I changed my mind several times beforehand but after actually interacting with him, my husband and I decided to adopt him.  I still second guessed myself until I actually went on Monday and officially adopted him and brought him home.  I cried all the way home.  The way home is through the same neighborhood I would be taking Little to and from the vet.  It would be Little in his carrier in the front seat with me. Now I had a new little baby riding with me.  I felt so guilty - disloyal to my Little.  I realized I shouldn't have made this trip by myself.  We got home and I isolated Earl Grey in our bedroom away from my sons 2 cats.  This little kitty (well he's 5 months old actually) has brought light into our home and has made me smile and even laugh.  My husband has said that he talked this over with Little and got his permission.  I don't know if I did wrong to bring this kitty into Little's space or not.  But it felt right to us.  We are falling in love with him but never, ever will he take Little's place.  I didn't want another kitty - I just wanted my Little back but it wasn't going to happen.   And I think Little's spirit is here guiding him and teaching him.  He is doing things that Little would do.  We've only had him 3 days and he's already making his mark on our home.  We're not crazy about his name and will be changing it but can't decide on one yet.  For now I just call him "Kitty". 

We still have to get him used to the house and I know my son's cats are mad so it's a work in progress.  But for us, I think we made the right decision.  We have so much love to give and we adopted a rescue kitty.  And he is a cuddler and lap kitty and so loving.  He is solid grey and is completely different than Little and Batman. He is beautiful and I truly believe God sent him to us. 

I will always love and miss my Little and Batman with all my heart and soul.  I know they are waiting for me at Rainbow Bridge. And now they have a new brother.  I am thankful to God for sending this love and comfort to us.

Peace and hugs to everyone here!
Betty




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winstonsmom12
Betty  What a beautiful story.  I'm so sorry for your loss of Little.  I also have the same feelings of adopting another baby.  I feel this is Winstons Home.  I'm not sure how he would feel about another baby being here.  At this point, I am Fostering a little Chiuaua (sp) I am not sure when I will be ready to adopt another baby.

I think I will continue to foster.  I still have a lot of love to give, that I couldn't give to My Winston.  Bless You
Susan
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BeachieGirl33
Susan - thank you so much! Little was my "once in a lifetime kitty."  He was my everything and I have just been devastated.  I didn't want to do fostering because I knew I would develop feelings and not want to give the baby up.  I'm so glad it is working for you.  Your posts are starting to sound better!  Hugs to you!

Betty
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WindsorsMom
I'm sorry to hear about you Little. I just lost my dog on Tuesday, and I just feel empty. Today I went back to work and I just don't want to go home because it doesn't feel right, he won't be watching me through the window when I get home and won't be there greeting me at the door. I've already thought about getting another puppy but don't want my baby to feel like I replaced him and I don't want to neglect the new pup if I feel this way. Reading your story I think really helped me decide it is the right decision to get another, just maybe not right away. I hope your new baby fills you with joy.
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BeachieGirl33
Thank you for your post WindsorsMom.  I'm so glad my story has helped you and I am so sorry for your loss.  I know you are devastated as I was when I lost Little.  I know exactly what you are feeling about going home.  Our home was so empty and sad.  Every time I walked in the door I missed Little not being there. Well to be honest, he was never off my mind no matter where I was.  We are not trying to replace him because there is no cat that could ever replace him unless it was Little himself. But like you, I have love to give but wondered if I could get close to another baby.  This new kitty makes me think that I can.  He is just so sweet!  And he is a Godsend for sure.  Good luck and I hope things get better.  I think you will know when the time is right for you.  I send you hugs and prayers.

Betty
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BeachieGirl33
It's Wednesday morning again but now it's 8 weeks since I lost my Little.  I lit his candle and cried for him.  I still can't believe he is gone.  To make it worse I had a bad dream about him this morning.  He was in my dream but he was all bloody and hurt.  I've read on here where other have had really good dreams with their babies.  This dream really upset me especially since it's Wednesday.  I don't understand it.  Does it mean he isn't ok?  Or just a random bad dream since I am prone to some really weird, stupid dreams?  Tonight I will pray for a good dream about him.  I know he has to be ok and at Rainbow Bridge.  I'm reading this book : There is Eternal Life for Animals by Niki Behrikis Shanahan.  It has the Bible Scriptures about animals and Heaven.  If anyone is interested, I recommend it.  I still want to get Cold Noses at The Pearly Gates.  Anyway, today is a hard day.  8 weeks.  It still hurts and I still ache for my Little.  I know he couldn't heal because he had cancer.  I know we gave him that last gift of love but it doesn't make it easier.  He will always be my "once in a lifetime cat" and he will never be replaced.  I will always miss him and be forever grateful that I had him for 18 years.

On another note - update on the new kitty. He has been with us for a little over a week now.  We still haven't agreed on a new name for him.  I still call him "Kitty".  He has brought smiles into our home and he is doing great.  He has adjusted to our home and to my son's 2 cats.  It's all gone a lot better than I thought it would.  He is wide open all the time and keeps me on my toes.  He is still sleeping with my husband as I still can't sleep in Little's bed - that's what I will always think of it as being.  I know I need to transition myself back into my bedroom.  Overall, things are going good with Kitty.  I still have regrets sometimes wondering if I did the right thing, adopting a kitten.  He will never replace Little or Batman but he is making us smile and laugh.  And I think God sent him to us. 

Prayers, Peace, and Hugs to everybody here ...


Little  - Feb. 4, 1998 - Feb. 24, 2016

Batman -  spring 2001 - May 28, 2014
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