Dustbunny
It's been 7 days since my Dusty went to the vet.
7 days since I first had to think about things.
The Dr told me over the phone, "I'm pretty sure she's going to pass"
Those words were on repeat in my head all day.
I was at work, couldn't focus. I cried off and on all day. I told him no over the phone, keep pushing fluids it's not her time.
I can't make this decision, I just can't. We've been together so long. But I can't let her suffer. No it's not her time.
My dad called me said we need to discuss having to make the big decision. "I can't daddy" I whispered through tears. He took a deep breath. "Need me to do it for you?"
I remember feeling a literal crack in my heart. "Just be there with her. Don't let her be alone."
We waited a few more hours and got an update. She's better! The meds and fluids are working! I might actually get to keep her for a little longer! She's a fighter like her mommy!
I was fine the rest of the day. When I got home I told my husband how much I missed her being at the house. "Call in the morning and check on her. We'll have her home soon." He was always the optimist.
7 days ago I thought my baby had a chance.

Now 7 days later, she plays at rainbow bridge. Who knew it would end this way? Not me, not at all. She almost made it home. I almost had her back. But while I slept God whispered "Your job is done sweet girl. It's time to come home." And she drifted away. 7 days later I come home to her 3 brothers and 1 sister. I swallow my sobs knowing I can't bring her back. I try to love them the best I can. I tell her grave good morning and goodnight. I touch the dirt and whisper I love you baby girl. I look at her pictures. The last few from the vet office. And the final one of my baby girl, after she was already gone. I took it because I needed and wanted it. I needed that last memory, I wanted to remember how beautiful she still was. I replay bringing her home and holding her little body close to my heart. Her little head under my neck. Her fur still soft. Her eyes closed forever. I petted her wishing for a purr or meow that never came. I cried over her my tears hitting her nose. I kissed her over and over.

7 days later.......... I live with a broken heart that still beats.
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TashasDad
DustBunny,

My deepest condolences on your loss of Dusty, just 7 days ago.

I just read your sharing. Your post here at the forum.  I thoroughly understand everything you wrote, feel, and felt.  I am very sorry you, and all of us must live through these unexplainable losses. We love our cats, dogs, and other pets so much. How can this be real and happening to us. And to them.

I am very sorry, but it was her time. She was called home. By God, or fate, or karma, or . . . depending upon your religion or belief system. 

You post was extremely moving to me. I cried some, thinking about your Dusty, your love for Dusty, all you wrote about 7 days ago. 

I would encourage you to write more here. To make good use of this forum. I would suspect you felt less alone when you wrote and shared all of this. What happened. And more importantly what you are feeling.

We have all lost our beloved pets here at this forum. We listen to each other, understand, and try to  help each other deal with our losses. We care about you and about Dusty. We really do. 

TashasDad

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Marie123
Your story sounds so very much like my relationship with Raven. We always want a miracle. My girl seemed to be better the week before I let her go. I was certain she'd "rally." But suddenly she took a turn for the worse and I knew it was her time. Whether they're old or young, had a long illness or pass suddenly it's just never going to be easy. The love they bring makes everything better, gives us reason to believe, to go on, to love back. When they go, a part of us goes with them. But what we have to believe then is that a part of us is now in heaven. Our special friends have a bond with us that can't ever be broken, and that's a miracle all unto itself.
May you find peace here, and in the days to come 🐱🐺❤
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Korrasdad
I’m 16 days after Korra, today is the first day I haven’t sobbed uncontrollably. The day is not over yet, and your beautiful post/tribute to Dusty has me on the edge again. I come to this site a couple of time every day to commiserate with others in the same state as I am. It helps, but the hole is still there and will never be filled. I’m both awed and crushed by the depth of feeling I have felt over the last 3 weeks. Korra was taken from me at just 5 years of age. I feel cheated...I feel like she was cheated...out of several more years of joy and love in my home. We weren’t done yet. This all feels so WRONG, like history diverted from its true path. But like you, I’m stuck with a broken heart that still beats. So where do I go from here? I don’t know yet, I haven’t been able to clear my eyes or mind long enough to see a path forward.

I hope you find some peace in the coming weeks. I hope I do too.
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Dustbunny
Dusty was my whole life. And when I sit and think about it, all this hurt I'm going through, I wouldn't changed a thing about my life with her. Her lifetime with me was the greatest blessing. I know why God chose her to be mine and for that I'll forever be grateful. I have many questions still, ones that won't ever be answered. I get up and go on with my daily life because I know she can't stand when I'm upset. She's never far from my mind. She's memorialized everywhere. You just have to cherish the good memories and honor her in your everyday life. Time ultimately heals the heart, but you are right I won't ever be the same now but I'll heal. When I get sad I think of my sweet Dust-bunny running and jumping through the flowers in the meadow and sunbathing by the water. I remember her sweet nose kisses she graced my faced with everyday and I smile everytime. I can still feel her kisses across my nose and the vibrations if her purrs against my stomach. I keep her alive in my heart.
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Marie123
You couldn't have put it better. I try to think of my time with Raven and Geronimo as a blessing for all of us. If I hadn't taken them in, who knows what would have happened to them? And I wouldn't change a thing about my life with them, either. From Mo lying in the middle of the plate with their canned food I'd put out to Raven giving me nose kisses just like your Dusty, there's nothing to feel bad about. You've taken the words right out of my mouth...and, I'm sure, many of us here's hearts!
Blessings And Peace 🐺🐱❤
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Debbie130
I’m right where you are as we had to make the choice 9 days ago for our precious Purry puss. I cry in the shower. I cry while driving to work. I cry in my cubicle. I’m so heartbroken I just can’t believe it’s real. His fur was like mink. He was so meticulous, so well groomed. Our most energetic bundle of fur. The sweetest boy. His brother Clawed looks for him everyday. They were litter-mates. Obie, his best cat buddy & adopted brother has been yowling for him. My heart just swells in pain. I totally understand what you’re going through. I haven’t found peace yet. Heartbroken Purry’s mom-Deb
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Marie123
I'm so sorry to hear about your baby too. I still think about my girl Raven gone just over 8 months and Geronimo gone a month today. My heart goes out to you all at this hard time. Our love for them is eventually our downfall, but it's a downfall I wouldn't trade for anything for the wonderful moments shared
Blessings 🐱🐺
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Paulcougar1964
Hello Brandy,

Thank you for sharing your story about Dusty, it was very beautifully written. I am sorry for the sadness you are feeling, she is such a beautiful cat, and you have such great love for each other. It is so hard to lose these loves of ours - please keep us posted about how you are doing.

Paul
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