Dalidog Show full post »
Been thinking of you today. Hope you made it through okay...though what exactly is ok? I don't even know anymore.
Since Dali's passing was such a surprise, I wonder if you often feel like I do - like is it real?!!! I still find myself hoping I'll see my Fonzie in our yard. I truly look for him out my windows whenever I can.
I think ALL the time "I can't believe it."
With each Sunday I dread 1pm because I know I will never forget the minutes from 1-106 when he left me. I hate the whole day, but that time my whole body shakes.
Then the reality comes crashing down and I can't divert my brain from those awful moments when I held my dying baby in my arms.
I am so sorry about your family not talking about her anymore. My almost 4yo daughter is the only one in my life who does! My husband is afraid I will lose it upon mentioning Fonzie, so he just doesn't. The rest of my family (whom I'm very close to and who saw him constantly) just doesn't talk about him at all unless they are telling me to move on. My mother said it's morbid keeping his ashes and his things. Everyone wants me to get rid of it all. I will never do that. And I know you will always hold Dali near to you.
I will love and miss you forever, My Fonzie Bear...
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I hope you make it through Sunday okay.  I know how you will feel.  Yesterday, every Saturday, is very sad to me.  I read what everyone writes and, although it is comforting to not be alone with my thoughts, I feel for everyone having to go through the same thing I am.  Yes, I do still look for Dali and call for her sometimes, especially if I am in the kitchen cooking.  I breakdown when I realize she isn't coming.  I wonder if it would be easier if it wasn't so sudden, but I don't think anything would have made it any easier.  I often wonder if she knew what was going to happen as I went about my busy morning that Saturday.  I keep going over and over it...how did I not know?  I wasn't prepared for that day in any way.

I have a shelf on my bookcase in the living room with her picture, a framed Rainbow Bridge Poem, cards I received, and her candles for the ceremony.  I also have some books I have been reading about Pet Afterlife and an empty scrapbook I plan on making for her.  My family told me that would make it worse for me, but I stare at that picture when I am on my sofa.  I keep her picture by my bed and talk to it every night as well as others around my house.  It is so lonely.  Sounds like your family doesn't understand that love, as mine doesn't.  My husband never mentions her now.  I find myself getting angry and snapping at someone if they tell me their "aches and pains" and medical issues.   Dali never said a word or whined or cried or NOTHING, I didn't know.  So I have NO patience with others.

Six weeks and it still isn't real.  I still look for her everywhere.  When you spend over 12 years always taking care of them (and them us) and making sure they are safe,  you don't just STOP and everything is okay.  It never will be.

My thoughts and prayers are with you today.  I hope you are okay, and I agree, whatever okay is now.  Thank you for your comfort, it means a lot to me.  Your Fonzie will be with you today and everyday.

Dali, as much a daughter as any human...  pure love
Until we meet again


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