graciesmommy
I can't believe my Gracie has been gone for 5 weeks. I still find myself missing her so much. I swear I hear her making noises in my apartment sometimes, sometimes little whimpers or other things. I still don't know how to cope with her being gone. The holidays were so sad without her being around, and I keep finding little things that remind me of her everywhere. I feel thankful that I renewed my apartment lease for another year, because I don't feel like I can leave here yet, it is just too soon. Does this constant pain ever go away?
Gracies Mom
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Dalidog
I know just what you mean Graciesmommy.  The holidays were terrible for me too.  My baby left me 9/27/2014 and it seems like yesterday at times and a lifetime ago at other times.  I still cry every day and ache to hold her.  I talk to her and I still panic at the thought she isn't here.  I don't think the pain ever goes away, we just have to find a way to live with it.  I know what you mean about not leaving there, too soon.  I can't imagine going to another house where my Dali did not live.  She was only in this house for about a month, but long enough for me to still see her, where she laid, rooms she liked to be in, etc.  I can't get myself to drive by the home we lived in for 10 years before we had just moved when she left.  I hope things get "easier" for you...but they took our hearts and we have to live in another world now.  Hugs to you and Gracie...from me and Dali

Dali, as much a daughter as any human...  pure love
Until we meet again

http://rainbowsbridge.com/residents/DALI003/Resident.htm

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ahartofilis
Hello Gracies Mom, I am at the same point in time as you. I lost my beloved Coco on Dec 7th. I understand how you feel. Gracie must have been very special to you. I saw her pictures and what a cutie she was. I didn't realize how hard it would be to go on without Coco. I have had other pets but nothing compares to the pain that I feel over loosing her. I think we just need to take it one day at a time. I think that since we had such a special relationship with our companions that the grief is a lot more intense. I have come to realize that in a way our deep mourning is a testament to the depth of love we had for them, and for the love they had for us. I do believe that they are still with us and let us know in ways. I try to take one day at a time and just try to manage the emotions that I have that day. I try not to make any major decisions in my life right now as I know that I am not in the strongest or clearest state of mind. I also try to take care of my health the best that I can, its been a challenge. I haven't been sleeping that well and I haven't been able to take the walks around my neighborhood without Coco.
Yet I accept all of this as part of the bargain we make when we love our furbabies so much!! When I reflect on the positive things about remembering my dear girl I feel a little bit better. I have also worked on the guilt that I had in the beginning and have tried to come to terms with it. I may not be completely there about that but I am feeling that I truly did what was best for her. I am sorry to keep going on. I am just sharing with you how I have been handling things. I hope you find more peace about Gracie........My thoughts are with you.............Andrea,Cocos  Mom
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Bellamum

Hi Gracie's Mommy,

I am so sorry that you too are going through this overwhelming grief after saying goodbye to your precious Gracie.  It really is tough to cope with.

You asked if the constant pain ever goes away. Well, my story is....I lost my gorgeous beagle, Bella, 9 1/2 months ago and the pain is still with me.  I grieve for her every single day, but I would describe it as different than in the early days.  I miss her with every part of me and would give anything to be able to bring her home.  I still cry for her on occasions, but I have a level of acceptance now.  I think the "rawness" of the grief is slowly, very slowly, starting to ease, but the emptiness in my heart will remain forever.

As I said, I still cry for her, but not as constantly and inconsolably as I did at the beginning.  Granted, I can get myself to tears very quickly, much more quickly than before I said goodbye to her, just with a small thought, or seeing something of hers or even hearing a relevant song, but I can regain my composure more quickly now and sometimes I can even manage to laugh at a funny memory of her through my tears.  The photos and memories are bringing me more smiles than tears now.  I will miss my precious girl until I am with her again and I will love her forever, but gradually I think I will begin to adjust to my "new normal". In reality though, I never want to feel "totally ok" again.  The grief that I feel is a way to honour what a special girl she was.  I just want to be a little more like the "old me".

I think there will still be many, many "bad days", but I try to focus on my immense feelings of gratitude on those tougher days.  I was so privileged to be Bella's Mummy, and you were so privileged to be Gracie's Mommy.  Hold those thoughts in your heart....I find they help me.  I hope they help you too. 

Karen
(Bella, Charli and Buddy's very lucky mum)

My gorgeous girl, Bella  26/07/2004 - 03/04/2014
"You were once by our side, but you will be forever in our hearts. Until we meet again baby girl."
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graciesmommy
To Dali's mom, Coco's mom, and Bella's mom, thank you so much for your kind thoughts regarding this difficult time. I have just started my final semester in college, and I am having to adjust to not being able to come home to take care of Gracie every few hours. I find myself now in a constant cycle of work that is not broken by the happy thoughts of going home to see my girl. I definitely think that the pain has become more of a dull, constant throb, than the sharp constant sting that it was at the beginning, but it just won't go away, and I don't want for it to ever "go away". I never want to stop thinking about her. After sitting and thinking about things for so long, I wonder sometimes if the medicine that the vet prescribed for her a couple of weeks before she went into kidney failure could have been the reason for her illness. I can't bring myself to research if that is a possible side effect, because I don't really want to know that something I was giving her everyday was ultimately making her sick. I guess there are questions that we will always have about things that could have been done differently.
Gracies Mom
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