Wileykitten
My keeten it is 5 weeks today that u have been gone. This was the last real time we had together when I ran home on lunch to check on u and get my kitten hug. U ran to me and trilled as I scooped u up and held u singing Best Friend... then u wanted to gey down. It was the last time we really snuggled... This is a hard day for me remembering the decision I made to set u free from ur suffering.. Now I am suffering without u, my kitten lover sweet. I can't function normally and depression consumes me. I have waited all day to be alone that I could cry and write to u and tell u how much I love u and miss u... there are no words. It is a beautiful day and I keep seeing u in the window sniffing the fresh breeze. I would sit next to u and talk and u would purr and lick my hand... I need u I miss petting u and playing with u... how ud chase me all over our house... Treats ud take from my hand and giving u scritchers up and down ur back oh how u loved that...
I loved it too.. every breath I had with u I loved each moment and would give anything to have u here with me.
I can't deal w life without u im such a mess anymore..
Please wait for me, best friend... when i see u again im going to run to u so fast and pick u up and never put u down again.
I love you, Wiley. xoxo
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Ana
Its hard to believe it has been 5 weeks- my baby Leo's will be 5 weeks on Thursday. I am sorry that you are still feeling so sad. I am too. A lot of the time I just feel numb and than I will cry and go back to numb. You have such nice memories for that last snuggle with Wileykitten. I play over and over Leo's last minutes in my arms. Then I try to think back to that last morning when I took him out to pee and he couldn't stand up. I try to remember what was  the last interaction we had  before he really quite responding to me and fell into a deeper sleep. I keep this one memory-After I bring him back into the house I  sit on the bed rocking him in my arms and his eyes are big and dreamy-he seems to be watching the sari I have as a canopy-he looks like he is enchanted- free from fear and pain. As I rock him I think maybe he was already looking on to where he was going. I hope he and Wiley have met up- Leo liked cats a lot. They were our sweet babies and it hurts so much not to have that physical connection. The cuddles, the licks, the funny little noises they made that we understood. I ended up burying Leo in my yard-have turned a little section that is his grave into a tiny garden on top. I sit out there and watch the flowers blooming and sometimes it feels like this is his gift to me-the flowers are my last physical connection with him. We will get through this- I don't know how but we will. I am looking forward to the day I can see my baby boy and like you said -never have to put him down again. I will be thinking of you as you move through this difficult day. Be gentle with yourself. I will hold you and Wiley in my heart.  ~Larchana
Larchana Behrends
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