It's 5 weeks today since wiz left and I'm posting my memorial service that I wrote for Wiz. I will prolly just keep adding stuff on because there are plenty of things I missed out. I had can hardly believe he is gone. I had a hard day today with various things and he isn't here for me supporting me so it's much harder.. I cried more today but I still feel I have to hide it from my family. Does anyone else feel that way?
My darling wizard I don't know how to express in words how much you mean to me and how much I love you it's not possible. I'm at a loss to find the words and yet I know there aren't enough words nor enough paper to convey the emotion and the beauty of you. No one will truly know the bond and the beauty of you and me because that was between us in our hearts, in our touch and in our souls.
I'm at a loss for words to tell you what you mean to me… And yet I will try if possible in this brief memorial to express how wonderful and loving and amazing you were and how you saved me time and time again and how devastated and lost I am without you my sweet boy.
How I miss you every second of the day with an aching deep void that can only be filled by you, By the love, touch and voice of my baby boy who was my constant and faithful life companion and bff. The lack of you and our bond is an intense raw pain that has had me sobbing and crying on and off for days from the moment you left.
It is with a heavy heart and in disbelief that I am sitting here reading your memorial tribute wizard and that you're no longer with me , no longer holding me at night and hugging me, snuggled up close to me to be spooned, me holding your paws and you purring & impressing your head into me. no longer sitting with you while we eat dinner and afterwards you cuddle up against me and put your paws on mine, no longer smooching you and kissing you when you meet me by the door when I come home to tell my little boy how much I love him – mummy loves you baby boy... more than anything in the world... just remember that mummy loves you forever.
No longer hearing the scratch scratch of your paw on my bedroom door telling me you wanted to come in to be with mom. I could always tell your paw scratch from Sybil's furry paw scratch.
No longer looking at my gorgeous beautiful elegant all black cat with a tiny white spot on his chest who came by accident from the wild into my life and who looked like a regal cat from an upscale world long ago. No longer listening to his beautiful meows and varied discussions on how the day goes and what to do and whether we should go to bed now, whether there is another cat outside and how do we feel about things in general mom? No longer feeling guilty each time I go out when you would look at me and say mom do you really have to leave me, where are you going and when will you be back? And yet I'm still feeling guilty when I go out because it reminds me that I should've stayed home more and spent more time with you. Even more than I did already because those moments and that time is precious and goes by too quickly.
Usually you were the one to announce many of these things but often I would announce them too with you winning most of the time if there was a debate. It's bedtime baby boy wizberry, common wooza lets go upstairs now... up up up up.
Your talking voice was an amazing thing with numerous meows, chirrups and purrs which ranged from loud and high pitched at times to soft gentle and delicate expressions of your desires and feelings.
meowwow- do this do that mom, are you ok mom, I'm so happy mom, I love you more than anything mom and that is how I love you my wizberry boo more than anything in the world.
When you got loud and annoying at the screen door when you wanted to go out when you were still allowed outside on your own sometimes I would tell you not so politely to be quiet but you wouldn't listen to me for long if at all and then your beloved sister Angie would take over pouncing on you and screeching at you to stop and to listen to mom, at which point you would retreat and run away. And just as Angie would tell me that you and Sybil wanted in when you were both outside you in turn told me when Sybil wanted in when she was outside.
The first day I met you when I accidentally trapped you while trying to tnr another kitty I was surprised. You hissed and growled a bit as I brought you into the studio but I didn't take it seriously and when I let you out you meowled a bit and then came over to me to make friends.
The next night when I lay the futon mattress on the ground and started to get ready to sleep you immediately curled up next to me to spoon. In that moment I knew we were meant to be together and I felt an emptiness in me since Tess had passed had been filled.
Our first intention was to put you up for adoption with the rescue group but when you tested positive for fiv they wouldn't put you in the cages and so thank god you stayed with us instead in your new home. I was so relieved and grateful.
Angie & Byron accepted you almost right away and I think Angie was delighted to have a babyboy to boss around but Sybil was another story. When she first saw you through a crack in the studio door she howled at the top of her lungs a blood curdling screech!!! After which for a few weeks she stalked you and would barely let you move an inch in her presence. When foster kitten Ari came to stay you immediately became his cat mom, licking his bum, washing him and gently playing with him. He in turn became your ally and comforted you when Sybil was mean. In time Sybil accepted you too.
I'll never forget the day we were all out walking in the garden with Angie on a leash and you leapt into the air and landed on Byron's back. I was worried you might be agressive but it was just a game and Byron barely reacted - just a wtf moment look on his face.
You shared the bed with Angie and I curling up to spoon & hug and Angie being jealous decided she should do that with mom too. So then it became a competition- who got to sleep next to mom? Angie would sneak in ahead and then you would come to stare at her to try to get her place. Eventually I had one on either side and barely any room for me. :-)
You shared the bed with Angie and I curling up to spoon & hug and Angie being jealous decided she should do that with mom too. So then it became a competition- who got to sleep next to mom? Angie would sneak in ahead and then you would come to stare at her to try to get her place. Eventually I had one on either side and barely any room for me.
My beloved sweet Tess August 1999 - February 21 2001
My beloved loyal Byron March 1998 - April 28 2008
My sweet beloved girlie Angelina April 2001- September 2012
Me & my sweet beloved Wizberry forever 1998- April 21, 2016
My sweet beloved Snow Goddess Sybil girlie April 2001- May 11,2018