ilona
and i still cry nearly every other day and i cant feel better. a stafforshire female kille dmy female mutt of 4 yrs old... her name was lola and she looked a bit like a border collie and she was the sweetest and most intelligent and gorgeous dog ever. i found her in the streets of costa rica and we were a team right from the start, never had to train her she was perfect and lived with me trough amazing years in costa rica and shared so many hard and great times.

i cant live without her she just understood everything and she was all my joy. i would feel better if she died of old age or even by a disease but ripped to death by a dog is just awfull. i wasnt home when it happened my husband had taken the staff in to take care of it for a friend which makes it even worse... my dog got killed at her own house and because of my husbands fault. i cant cope i miss her so much i am still a mess over it. will i ever feel better? sometimes i want to get a new dog but then i realise i just want to get one like her and get her back so i am not ready yet...

i cant handle it i feel depressed my baby girl is gone

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harvey
I am so sorry. I know the pain is unbearable. Time does heal you though. You NEVER get over it, but you learn to cope. I wish you peace.
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judylinn

I am sooo soo sorry ilona, that is so tragic. that is such an awful way to lose your baby. Have you thought about seeing a counselor to help you. many of us fo see counselors. My heart and prayers are with you. I understand the pain of your loss, though the circumstances were different. Maddie was like my soulmate. we shared everything. Judy

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Candie
I am also so sorry for your tragic loss. I know the emptiness that you are feeling along with your broken heart. The people here are compassionate and we all understand each others grief. Keep coming back. Our prayers are with you
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quirks

ilona my heart goes out to u. 3 weeks tomorrow marks the day my husbands dog killed my sweet little cat, remy. i didnt latch the back door properly and in a split second, i was too late to save him. all i could do was hold his little beautiful sweet body, as he left for the healing fields of rainbow bridge. i have been battling guilt anger and what i suspect is depression since then, and i cry every day. so yes i understand where u r at right now. i felt if remy had passed any other way i could have handled it better, but the truth is any reason for a furbabies passing is painful and tragic. my prayers thoughts and love r with you as u try to pick up the pieces. take care of YOU xoxo erika

Those people who dislike cats, will be mice in their next life.......
Remy...entered my life 4th April 2010......left for the Bridge 9th August 2010.
loved, missed and cherished.
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Lisasjf
Oh Gosh Ilona i'm so sorry. Thats such a horrible way to loose something you love. I agree with Judy 100% between the bad thoughts your gonna have and the fact that your blaming your husband. If I were you I'd definitely go see someone. I know your husband had no intention to hurt your baby. But What I'm worried about is your going to end up being extremely angry at him. Go talk to a psychologist before that happens You already lost one thing that was very important to you, Don't risk another. God bless you ilona
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ilona
yeah maybe i will...
i am going to get counseling about my fear of flying which has become worse, i will touch the subject of my dog...

i will post her picture here. to be honest i cant even look at her pictures yet...

thanks for your replies, its nice to tell somebody anonymously, i dont like to talk about it to people i know, except to my husband...

its so sad i want the bond and the love we had back, i want her back but its impossible. i think its the first time i know what grieving is
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