BeachieGirl33
To My Little:
 
Little has gone to the Rainbow Bridge,
He floated away on Angel wings.
Now he's with his brother running free,
And they're both there waiting for me.
God had a plan for them,
Even though it broke my heart
And I can't get used to us being apart.
I know you don't want me to be sad and cry,
But I can't stop missing you no matter how hard I try.
Run free with the Angels my babies
And be waiting for me at the Rainbow Bridge.

I Love You Always and Forever!

Little:  Feb. 4, 1998 - Feb. 24, 2016

I just can't believe my Little has been gone 4 weeks this morning.  It has not been an easy 4 weeks, believe me! All the tears - I cry every day, the hurt, the ache in my heart, the missing him - I look for him every time I come in the bedroom, the sadness, it's all there every day.  I still can't sleep in my bed.  I did put clean sheets on the bed for my husband this week as he sleeps on there but I just can't yet. (that made me cry because Little would jump on the bed and "help" me make the bed)  I didn't wash the bedspread and Little's blanket is still laid out on the bed.  As I sit here writing this, I'm looking at his memorial with his picture, his box, his candle is burning - my husband lit it before he went to work this morning, his toy he slept with and some other things with tears in my eyes.  I read his poem to him and kissed his box and picture.  We light his candle every night and my husband talks to him about his day at work.  I re-did our bathroom this week but left Little's litter box in its spot.  I just can't get rid of it yet.  I know he's not coming back but I can't put his things away yet.  I miss him so much and it still hurts really bad.  I started writing in a journal but haven't been able to write in it the past few days.  I will start back writing, maybe today.
 
Last week I was awakened with a nose on my nose.  Was it Little?  He used to wake me up to feed him in the night by putting his nose on mine.  Sometimes I think I feel him on the bed or hear him scratching.  I just miss him so much.  He was my world.  I am thankful that we had him for 18 years but that doesn't make it any easier.  I have lost other cats.  I lost my other baby, Batman, almost 2 years ago and am still grieving for him but this is different.  Little was my special baby.  He was a cat with class!  He was such a proud cat.  Even if I look, I know there will never be another Little.  And I named him the wrong thing.  When he was a kitten he was so tiny and I never imagined he would grow up to be such a big cat.  At his prime he weighed 13 1/2 pounds.  When we lost him he was not even 7 pounds.  He had tall legs.  He was a black and white tuxedo cat and he was so handsome!  The love of my life.  Even when cancer put those ugly lumps on him, and he lost so much weight, he was still beautiful to me!  I hope he knows that his mommy and daddy did the best we could for him and all we could for him.  I hope he understands why we had to let him go.  I hope he knows how much we love him and miss him.  I hope he knows we will be together again one day at the Rainbow Bridge.

I know life goes on.  This is where I need your help please.  Any advice will be appreciated.  This forum thing is new to me.  I've never done this before but I do know it has helped me.  I trust in God with all my heart and couldn't have gotten this far without him.

Hugs and peace to everyone on here who has lost their baby.

Betty


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vlmatt
Greetings Betty, May I grip your heart with care and share and prayer!!  Loss is so deeply painful and I am so sorry for your loss.  My heart goes out to you and may we walk together.   There are no answers to take away the pain, but there are answers for HOPE!  Yes, a bummer, but we will go through intense pain and sorrow, but the better news is that it WILL go away.   I promise.  That is how God created it.   TIME is truly a gift, as when I lost my beloved cat, and I mean beloved to the very core, TIME began to be my gift.   The more it came, the less I pained.   I again am very very sorry, but I do know that the Lord HUGS you through it all!!   It may not seem like it, but the fact is HE DOES  :)   You have more comfort that you'll ever know this side of heaven.   Your beloved remains living in SOUL.  Yes, God created all souls, even animal souls.   If you need a good Pet Devotional, there is an amazing one called "Cold Noses at the Pearly Gates" by Gary Kurz.  You can buy and Barnes and Noble or on line, it was a GOD-SEND when I lost my love, ok?  Bless you.  Vicki 
Vicki Mattingly 
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Beaglemomma
Oh sweetie I am so sorry you are hurting so badly.  Please know that we ALL are here.  I lost my Molly at Thanksgiving and I am still crying over her loss and I too hear and feel her at times.  This is just so very hard to bear. 

I offer you my heartfelt sympathy.  It just doesn't seem like there is any way to get through this grief process other than just to plod on.  Can't make it go any faster no matter what you try. 

I came across some meds we had that were still good and so I wanted to donate them and when I got to the place I thought I was doing so well till someone asked me how I was doing and I lost it all over again.

I too am going through that book with a friend I met here on the Forum.  Isn't making things go any faster just some reassurance that you WILL see your baby again IF you are worried about that.

I wish you peace soon.
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janice
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BeachieGirl33
Thank you Vicki and Janice!  Your advice helps so much.  As you both say it will take time - a lot of time! It's been a month and it already seems like forever since I've seen Little.  I will look into getting that book.  I'm sure Little is waiting for me but I still would like to read this book.  It still hurts but it seems like I just feel numb.  I'm sorry for your losses and I send peace and hugs, as well as prayers.  Please stay in touch with me!
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