jonancy
It will be three weeks tomorrow and the pain I feel is getting worse. I thought I was doing better but I'm crying all the time again. I keep imagining seeing him, when someone comes to the door I still want to grab him, if I drop a piece of food, I still expect to see him run for it. He loved to eat. I had someone today say " you got to get over it". He meant well and he is a dog lover, but I can't get over "it"... Scooter was my baby. I hate waking up in the morning because the routine is changed. It's so cold this week, Scooter would be curled up in my lap keeping me warm. Sometimes I think I'm going nuts, I'm so depressed. I'm trying to read the book Cold Noses at the Pearly Gates, but am having a hard time with this too.

I wasn't able to write or read much at this forum the last few weeks, it decided I needed to today.


Scooter.... Mama loves and misses you so much!!
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loft2111
Three weeks is a very short time, there is no time limit on grief so you have to move at your own pace.  I lost Little Man five months ago and I still cry, in fact I have cried the past three days in a row.  Grief is a vicious roller coaster, the minute you feel as though you are better it comes out of nowhere and hits you again.  What you are feeling is normal and expected, don't be so hard on yourself.  Scooter is adorable and so very lucky to have had you.  You loved deeply and will grieve even deeper.
Take care.
hugs from me and my LM
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alesia
Hi jonancy--.-I have been going through the same thing; I understand. We lost our cocker spaniel, Teddy 4 weeks ago and I have cried every day. I think about him when I wake up and don't even want to get out of bed because I have to face another day without him. It feels so awful coming home from work and he is not there to greet me at the door. He used to show his face in the window (parted the curtains with his nose) when I drove up, now everything is still and quiet. Like Scooter, Teddy loved to eat too. He patted my leg while I ate to remind me he was there waiting for  bread crust. Our house is not the same. People keep telling us to get another dog but it doesn't feel right. Anyway I am so sorry for your pain. My heart is there with you.
Alesia Cranford
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jonancy

Thank you both for your replies. My heart goes out to you too. I'm doing bad today, so I can't write, please know that I appreciate you both.

Thanks for the hugs from LM and loft.

Hugs to all

Jonancy


Scooter....Love and miss you, my little honey nut
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alesia
It's okay, jonancy--I find it helps to be kind to yourself and find a quiet place to cry, cry and cry some more; get it out no matter how long it takes. Thank you for mentioning that book--Cold Noses at the Pearly Gates. I am going to look for it.
Alesia Cranford
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Lilimarie
Jonancy, first and foremost, I am so sorry the day came where you and your baby scooter had to part. I know all too well the feelings that come with this. Scooter looked adorable. My dog who passed away had a pack of 3 Weiner dogs as his besties. The 4 of them were inseparable. They lived next door and we all shared the porch. They still bust inside my place and look for him sometimes. It breaks my heart. Benni was my greatest love. It's almost 4 months and I could cry all day if I didn't have to work today. It becomes a roller coaster. It's very emotional. Take your time healing. It's going to be a long process. After 3 weeks, my husband made a comment that I too, needed to move on. It helps we are no together. Now I allow myself all the time I need. It's so important to have a support system who will walk with you through this hard time. Be kind to yourself and come back here as much as you need. Hugs to you and Scooter.
Lilimarie
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ahartofilis
Joancy, I am sorry about your loss with Scooter. Three weeks is a very short amount of time. I recall that others would start to say things to me about moving on after a couple of weeks over the loss of my girl Coco. The more they pushed me to move on, the worse I got until one day I remember telling my husband," If I feel like crying every day over the loss of my girl, I will. Please don't tell me how to feel or grieve or miss her. And don't tell me to get over her. She was my constant love, companion, for 10 yrs." Even though he couldn't really understand my level of grief, he respected my feelings and I can accept that.
 It has been a little over 10 weeks now and the tears still come, daily, although I am more composed about her loss, my life is forever changed. True grief is a lot to work through. We learn to adapt, accommodate, appreciate the memories , look for the good. I know that Coco is still with me in many ways.
 You must have loved that boy Scooter so very much. He is so darling looking!! There is nothing crazy about how you feel. I still have to get up and force myself to do things that would take little effort when Coco was here. Its like learning to live all over again without an arm or a leg. Its is hard!  To the depth that we love, so will be the depth that we grieve.
 I feel similar to what Lilimarie wrote, take your time in healing, it is a long process. I have found that from reaching out here in any way that I need to has helped me tremendously along this journey. It really helps to have that support. 
  I appreciate your heartbreak and my thoughts are with you and Scooter.......I hope you are able to find healing in the days ahead.............................Sincerely, Coco's Momma
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loft2111
jonancy wrote:
Thank you both for your replies. My heart goes out to you too. I'm doing bad today, so I can't write, please know that I appreciate you both. Thanks for the hugs from LM and loft. Hugs to all Jonancy Scooter....Love and miss you, my little honey nut



My heart is breaking for you, I know the feeling all too well.  The first few months of Little Man passing I could barely function, I told my husband to just take me to a hospital and leave me there that I just didn't want this life without my furry baby in in.  You will go through ups and downs and dark places, but then something will happen and you will smile a little, you will think about the beautiful memories with Scooter and you will start to see signs.  It will be okay, life will move forward but your heart will always miss Scooter.  It has been nearly 5 months for me and I had a bad week last week, cried for three days straight and I'm not ashamed of it and I am okay with it.  When you love deeply the grief is whole other  beast to deal with, it is not easy.
Hugs to you and Scooter who is happy and healthy playing with my Little Man at Rainbow Bridge.
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Dalidog
JoNancy...  I'm so sorry for the loss of your precious Scooter.  It is so hard for those who haven't felt that pain to understand.  You are in a good place with this forum and everyone here supports you and appreciates all of your posts.  Your baby is so adorable!  Do whatever you have to that honors your baby.  With great love comes great grief and we all are experiencing it.  Tomorrow will be 5 months since my girl left.  I have been crying all day.  I still can't do her memory book and I still find myself calling to her.  Sometimes I instinctively call out "Dali", and when I realize she isn't coming and I have a hard time handling it.  Reading everything I can about the pet afterlife has helped me a lot because I know she is still her and I will see her again.  I have had signs and I hope you do too, there are never too many from them!  We have to handle things the best can, grieve how you want and as long as you need.  I know I will grieve the  rest of my life.  My thoughts and prayers are with you and Scooter from me and my Dali.  Although it is hard, I know they would want us to smile and be happy...I just haven't found that.  Take care of yourself, life is different, but we will be with them one day.

Dali, as much a daughter as any human...  pure love
Until we meet again

http://rainbowsbridge.com/residents/DALI003/Resident.htm

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jonancy
Thanks for all the replies, this forum does really help. I told a friend yesterday that I don't care what anyone thinks of the way I'm handling my grief. If I cry, I cry. Basically, if you don't like it that's okay but please respect what I am going through. I can talk about Scooter better now, I get choked up but then I just say I can't talk anymore. I'm trying to think that Scooter is with my Mom, she was with us when we adopted him and loved him dearly, so when I get really depressed (which is everyday) I am trying to get through it thinking he's safe with her in heaven.

Tonight, I had a strange but wonderful thing happen...I was sitting in my usual spot and I swear I saw Scooter out of the corner of my eye stretching under the blanket on the couch next to me the way he always did right before he went to bed. I feel safe writing this in this forum, don't know what others would think. I said out loud, thank you Scooter, mama needs you. I had hoped I would have a good dream about him, but I'll take this vision or whatever it was.

Teary eyed again, so I am going now. Thank you again. Hugs to all of you.


Scooter...mama loves you so much!!!
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jonancy
Coco's mama.

I forgot I wanted to thank you for saying how it feels like you lost an arm or leg, I feel like I will never be the same again, like part of me is gone. My heart feels ripped out and I have to learn how to live again. I do love him so much as I know you loved yours. We all do!

Again.. Hugs

Jonancy
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shoukrys
Lucy's mum.

I've been reading all the messages on this forum and I can relate to every one of you. My little dog Lucy passed away almost 3 weeks ago. When I'm out of the house, I'm ok. Still tears come to my eyes every now and then, my problem is when I return home. I just can't bare it. Everywhere I look I see Lucy and think of her. I also hate getting up in the morning now and I especially start crying at night. The pain is so raw inside me. She was my baby and I took care of her for 15 years like a baby. Suddenly I have nothing. My life feels so empty. But I try to think and take comfort in the fact that  I believe I will be joined with her again one day. Try to take comfort in that thought. The life here on earth is only temporary and we will see our beloved pets again and be with them for eternity. I'm sure Scooter is with your Mum, just like I believe Lucy is in safe hands now either with my Mum or sister. Like you, I am hoping I can have a dream about her and be reassured she's ok. I'm sure that dream will come.
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jonancy
Lucy's mom

I'm so sorry for the loss of Lucy. Mornings are the worse for me too. I just talked to my sister and she said it sounds like I'm doing better. I guess I am, but I still cry everyday, still feel empty and basically just going through the motions of daily life. The pain is unbearable at times and what you wrote is exactly how I feel.

Thanks for saying, Scooter is with my mom. Lucy is with yours also. This gives me comfort. I'm still waiting for my dream.

Thanks for your reply, and know that my heart goes out to you.

Jonancy....Scooters lonely mama
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jonancy
Hey Scooter

It's Sunday and that cold white stuff that you hate fell again. It's not deep today though. Oh baby, I miss you so much. I found some picture of you on the computer, most of them you were laying next to or on me. No wonder I've been so cold since you passed. I am always thinking about you and I hope you know how special and loved you are.

I can't type anymore my little honey nut , mama is just too sad tonight. If you can, please let me see you in a dream. I think I saw you next to me on the couch yesterday. Was it your spirit?

Love and miss you

Mama


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heartsick

 

 

I am so very sorry for the loss of your sweet precious Scooter.

The beginning raw searing pain of new grief is just awful.

They take a piece of us when they go,

But they leave a piece of them with us also.

Grief is awful and there is nothing else like this pain.

I am divorced - when I was married I buried my son- at that time I became a Certified Grief Counselor- I used the same graveside service for my Bear as I did for my son.

Please know that when we lose someone we love we don't stop loving them -

LOVE NEVER DIES.

The soul bound connection that is between our babies and ourselves is forever.

Nothing - not death- tears -grief - or sadness will ever break the ties between us for those ties are made of LOVE so strong that NOTHING will ever sever those connections.

LOVE NEVER DIES.

When we grieve for those we love it is because we do not quite know how to live without them. We breathe because we have no choice but the living part takes a huge amount of learning and time.

Grief is not something we get over but something that we learn -slowly- over time- to incorporate into our lives until it becomes a part of us like our bones and our breath.

Please know that we all understand here and we are all here for you.

Please come back and tell us more about your life with your beautiful baby so we can get to know him better through you.

We are all in this together and all walking the same roller coaster path of grief together -

some a bit ahead of you, some by your side, and some will come behind for you to help along.

If you read the beginning of any one of our threads you will see yourself. I, literally, walked in circles wringing my hands. My chest constantly hurt as I was unknowingly holding my breath.

You Are In My Thoughts.                                      

Susan(heartsick)

 

In one of the stars, I shall be living.

In one of them, I shall be laughing.

And so it will be as if all the stars were laughing when you look at the sky at night.

~ The Little Prince, Antoine de Saint-Exupery

 

 


GRIEF- Take ALL the time YOU NEED - THIS ONE JPG.jpg 

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