Tonight marks 3 weeks since we had to put my sweet lil Henry to sleep. Im adjusting, thankfully. That 1st week was nothing but gut wrenching guilt. Last week was just a feeling of everything being too surreal to put into words. This week has been the adjustment week Ill call it. The tears have stopped flowing, but its the whole aspect of him not being here that has been hard for me. Sometimes, I catch myself having to remind myself that he wont be there when I get home. So, finding that "new normal" I guess? I hate how FAST these 3 weeks have gone by though; it makes me feel like Im starting to become disconnected to him too fast.

Hope everyone else is feeling OK today!

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Hi Henry's Mom - I too am struggling.  Today is 7 weeks that my precious Bailey left this world.  I do okay at work as I stay so busy but when I walk out to my car to come home, the tears start coming.  I walk in the door, go right to her ashes and tell her hello and talk about my day.  She was my life for 16 years and now I don't have a routine, a purpose and to your point, I need to find a new "normal".  I pray that I wake up and that's is all a horrible dream but it's not.  I think of Bailey constantly and I hold her sweaters so I can smell her.  I look at all her pictures over and over.  My heart is so empty. 

I hope you are able to find a new normal that fits right for you.  I hope you find peace.  Healing vibes coming your way. 
Bailey's Mom
Gone from this world but never from my heart!
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Yes every new day getting used to life without them feels like another step away from my baby. I was not okay with that, feeling like she would fade from my heart. So I create things in her honor, and write in a journal. One day I won't remember what her meow sounded like and it will hurt me to know her memory is fading. In my moments of sheer pain, crying with grief, I felt closest to her. So I would just let it come or encourage by reading posts here and looking at videos. And now I work to separate the love entwined with grief, so when the grief normalizes or stabilizes, my love will still remain strong. I called my other cat by her name yesterday, something I never did. A name I say so many times a day during the process of grief. I forgot that she was gone for a split second and had to remind myself she left. I now am focusing on trying to understand what went wrong, what actually caused her to die. I may never really know, but I need to understand what happened at the hospital. In doing this I am spending time on her, and still thinking about her. So it helps me. My world revolved around her, creating memorials, researching, helps to slowly come to terms with life without Leeloo. I was okay the third week I thought, then the fourth week was bad, the one month anniversary, gutwrenching. Cry less now but still profoundly sad.
Love is eternal....
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