Molly4always

3 months ago I said goodbye to my dear sweet kitty, Molly.  I’ll never forget the hardest day of my life and the end of hers.  Like so many it came on suddenly and I was in way prepared to lose my girl.  I didn’t want to let her go but I knew if I didn’t she would suffer horribly. The tears and the grief that first month was overwhelming and I didn’t think I’d make it without her.  I couldn’t stop thinking about her last moments but as time has passed as it always does, I think more about her life and how sweet and precious she was.  I’ll never forget her next to last day; she came to me several times even though her every instinct told her to hide in her pain.  Those moments I’ll remember forever and they remind me of how much she loved me.  I didn’t think losing her would hit me do hard but I never realized how much I loved her until she was gone.

Here’s one of my fav pics of her.  I miss you my sweet darling.  Remember my many names for you:  Ms Molly, Ms Kitty, Sweet Pea and Sweetness; because you were the sweetest kitty in the world.  As I put on your urn, “I will hold you in my heart until I hold you in heaven”. How I look forward to that day when I’ll hold you in my arms and look in your beautiful golden eyes. Forever.
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JBB
I am deeply sorry for your loss. What a beautiful cat.
Like many others here, I can tell that your experience was heartbreaking. You did the right thing by ending her suffering. The pain will slowly go away and you will celebrate her life and all the happy moments that you shared with your beloved Molly. The intensity of your grief is the reflection of how much you cherished her.
“I will hold you in my heart until I hold you in heaven” This is truly beautiful.
JB Burger
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JulieF
What a beautiful kitty!  I am so sorry for your loss.  I just had to put my Patchy cat down on Monday after 19 years together.  I have two other cats, but he was my special "boy".  I know how you feel about the second to last day.  His last night he tried to sleep with me but he was so sick he kept jumping down off the bed.  He finally went to a place in the house to be quiet.  I miss him.  Bless you.
 JBB - I love your post about "I will hold you in my heart until I hold you in heaven"  I am going to have that engraved on his urn. 
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Molly4always

Even though it’s been 3 months, in a way it still seems unreal.  She wasn’t eating well but acting normal.  So I waited, even thinking she was being finicky; and then she went downhill so fast.  It’s so hard to believe she was so sick then and even now.  

I still feel so guilty at times because I didn’t take her to the vet sooner.  I know that by the time they’re showing symptoms, they’re probably really sick and taking her to the vet sooner may not have saved her.  But I still feel like I failed her.  I should have been paying more attention to her.  Every time I think of those last days when she was so sick, I can’t help but feel that it’s my fault she got so ill.  Why didn’t I take her to the vet sooner.  She deserved better.  My poor baby.  I’m so, so sorry.  

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JulieF
Molly's mom - please don't feel guilty.  Vets will tell you cats are masters at hiding their pain - it is left over from their days as wild cats and it was a defense mechinism.  I also think she did not want you to worry about her.  Believe me - I have spent this past week beating myself up over various things - why didn't I try harder to get him to a vet, should I have waited 24 hours even though I knew how sick he was and knew that by the time he was showing the symptoms, it was much worse and those 24 hours would probably have been painful, etc., etc.  It can go on and on - but try not to let it!  Tell yourself, you did the best you could for your baby. and she is in a better place.  She would not want you to feel this way - she would want you to remember her and not be sad.  I spent the other day writing down all the great stuff I remembered about Patch and it helped and I actually laughed a bit.  Find a way to honor Molly.  Bless you!
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