I lost my baby Beowulf on 4/24, and I still feel overwhelmed by grief. Some days are better than others, but I’m constantly aware that he’s absent from my life. I still wake up in the middle of the night and edge around my bed passed the spot where his pet used to lie next to my side of the bed until I remember he’s gone. I still haven’t gotten rid of the unopened bag of dog food that we had bought just before he died. I still can’t bring myself to throw out his bed, although I did tuck it into a corner of a closet. I was suffering from postpartum depression before this, so his loss compounds everything. Life was so unfair to him. He was one of the sweetest, gentlest dogs I’ve met, but he had numerous health issues. I feel as if we were both robbed of our future together. I never imagined losing him so quickly. He was 9 which I know is old for large dogs, but he always seemed like he was happy and healthy. He was panting a few weeks prior to going into congestive heart failure, but I didn’t think anything of it because we had to remove his eyes due to glaucoma just a few weeks prior. I assumed he was probably in pain since he was recovering from an invasive surgery. That part kills me. Had I known he was dying, I never would have put him through that pain. When does the guilt, regret, and grief start subsiding? How long will I feel either full of grief or empty? When does life start feeling “normal” again?
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Dear Sylina,

I am so sorry for the loss of your Beowulf, it is never easy to lose such a valued and loved member of your family.
Three months is no time at all Sylina, your heart (or your mind for that matter), hasn't even had a chance to adjust to the emptiness left behind by your precious Beowulf.

Right now you need to do what you need to bring comfort to your heart, if having Beowulf's things around brings you comfort then you keep them close, there is no rush to ever move or throw his things out, I still have all of my little girl's things, they bring me comfort, heck, I still fill her water bowl with fresh water and ice every day, just as she liked it.

Wishing such peace and healing to your shattered heart, may the love that your precious Beowulf continues to surround you with always be felt so deeply in your heart.
Sending our most positive, healing thoughts your way.

Sincerely, Don & Vera

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I'm so sorry for your loss of precious Beowulf. Losing a beloved dog is terribly hard and excruciatingly painful. My heart goes out to you.

I don't know how long it lasts, but grief can be astonishing in its intensity and its persistence! Sometimes it seems to have a mind of its own. 

Your journey doesn't look like anyone else's, but I think all of us here can relate. Take good care of yourself, because the painful emotions are exhausting. I'm so sorry you have also been suffering from the post partum depression. You may already be receiving help for that and your grief, but if you aren't and need it, I hope you won't hesitate to seek out local resources, whether support groups, therapy, medication--whatever could possibly bring you some ease and help you heal.

I also hope that connecting here will be helpful for you. People are very kind and understanding. 

-Missing Marissa deeply
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three months is still fresh, new and raw and it does take a long time to grieve. I am sorry you are feeling alot of pain with losing your Beowulf, and it sounds like you were a great Mom to him and did give him a really good life.

We all miss our babies, and it seems that as time goes on we may even miss them even more. I do know I had alot of meltdowns when i lost my babies. I also went thru alot of tears and pain for the first year. It is never easy trying to deal with our emotions when we lose our beloved best friends.

Please keep posting here, it does take away that alone feeling.


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My heart breaks for you. I'm only at the three day mark, I can't imagine making it to three months.
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