I'm so sorry for your loss of precious Beowulf. Losing a beloved dog is terribly hard and excruciatingly painful. My heart goes out to you. I don't know how long it lasts, but grief can be astonishing in its intensity and its persistence! Sometimes it seems to have a mind of its own. Your journey doesn't look like anyone else's, but I think all of us here can relate. Take good care of yourself, because the painful emotions are exhausting. I'm so sorry you have also been suffering from the post partum depression. You may already be receiving help for that and your grief, but if you aren't and need it, I hope you won't hesitate to seek out local resources, whether support groups, therapy, medication--whatever could possibly bring you some ease and help you heal. I also hope that connecting here will be helpful for you. People are very kind and understanding.
-Missing Marissa deeply