kikis_mom_1118
On November 18, 2019 I let my sweet baby girl go. There is not one day that she doesn't cross my mind. I miss her so much she truly was my best friend. The tears have dried a bit but I'm so empty without my girl. It's a new normal to come home and not see your face. It's painful but there is nothing I can do about it. I can't even sleep in my bed or be in my room because my Kiki is not there. I don't know when this emptiness will end or if it ever will...
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BoxerMomForever
I’m sorry. I sure understand how you feel. Been 4 months since my girl passed. Just feel lost without her. I miss being a dog mom. It’s the little things, like walks, mornings, watching tv with me at night. Hugs to you. For me I try and keep busy but it hits me early morning and at night, when I really think oh she’s not here.
Linda *Mom to two boxer angels* Lily {White Girl} 6/22/09 - 10/14/19  ** Ginger {Flashy Fawn Girl} 6/4/97 - 5/28/09
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kikis_mom_1118
Yes it is the little things...I haven't been in my bedroom since November...same sheets on the bed. I got a brand new comforter and curtains in October to brighten our room up. I don't have enough energy to occupy my time except for going to work. I know I need to get out but it's a struggle. I can sit here for up to 3 or 4 days and not even open the back door. Sometimes I get angry and say why are these evil and wicked people allowed to live while my sweet girl is gone. I just want the emptiness to go away.
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LUCYLULU
Hello~

I am so sorry for all that you are going through...@ 3 months or 4 months...or less...or more. Don't get here as often as before but sometimes, like tonite, I accidentally hit RBB forum in my 'favorites'. Coming here really brings back the heartache & the hollow heart feeling. I understand it too well. I made the gut wrenching decision for my 14.3 y/o Wheaten Terrier Lucy on 11/15/2015. She was my heart & soul dog. I worked as much as I could. Then after work, I'd get lost in retail shops, or go grocery shopping even I didn't really 'need' anything-- going up & down every aisle just to delay/avoid going home-- to an empty & way too quiet house. It didn't feel like home anymore. Nothing felt right. Often felt like a zombie or just existing & going through the motions. Nothing really mattered because I missed her so very much. I replayed the last weeks & decisions I made. It took a long time but I finally understood in putting her to sleep, I took her pain away & then I carried it. 

From my own experience, I felt I could breathe a tiny bit better after 3 months, then 6 months. But I've learned, I will miss her forever. Before Lucy,  I loved Sam Dog, a loving Golden. Loved her for much too short 7 years. Lucy was with me for much longer. But whether we have our special babies for 1 month or 20 years-- they are the definition of unconditional love. I could never carry upset or worry too long...because Lucy or Sam wouldn't let me :-)  Please keep talking to your furry friends. Ask for & watch for the signs, pokes, little moments that take your breath away. They are with you. I still believe when I see a feather, or a dragonfly, butterfly or hear a special song...they're messages from Lucy & Sam. Even if it's just for a little while, I know they're there...with me for always. That's how strong your bond is. Your loving connection can never be broken. 

As hard as it is right now...and it is hard to believe...but time will help the deep pain ease. I remember looking at puppies- even paid a deposit with a breeder for a Cockapoo. I wasn't ready. Then I drove 1/2 a day to meet a rescue 2 states away. They approved me. I got scared & couldn't do it. But on 06/26/2016, 7 months after Lucy's leaving, a loving 10 week old Wheaten Daisy Clover came home. I love her with all of my heart & soul. Never thought I could do it-- bring another baby home....and love another dog. But trust that if and when your heart is ready, your loving friend will guide a new furry one into your life. The ones who went to the Rainbow Bridge will forever have our hearts. But so can another.  Please go slow...go day by day...some times go minute to minute. Healing can be wicked because you miss them so much. Your love endures.  Hugs, Kasey
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prich70
Casey, thank you so much for your written thoughts. They have made it just a little bit better. IMG-0470.jpg  I lost my 15 yr old baby girl last sunday morning at 1am. I came home to her lying on the floor but she was gone. I am still hysterical and have not stopped crying. I have never experienced pain like this in my life and I am 64 yrs old. This is unbearable. I know it will get a little easier with time but it's going to take a long time. A long time. I am crying as I write. I have so much grief it just feels like it will never end. Oh baby I will miss you.  
Phil
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kikis_mom_1118
Pritch 70
Yes...very, very, very painful. I pray you will get comfort and peace.
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LUCYLULU

Sorry kikis mom to reply here to Prich 70...but I don't think he's created a post yet.

Prich70~ The picture of your baby breaks my heart. She's such a cutie & with her own baby with her. I am very sorry for your loss...and to come home to her...awful. 

Hugs to all of you who are suffering. It's such a deep heartache that defies description. 

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codysmum102
Pritch70,
How terrible to come home to that. I am so sorry for you. I lost my boy, Cody, 6 weeks ago today. He had a brain tumor. He was the love of my life. I miss him so very much still. I feel as though every day is just another day to get through. There is no joy and most everything I do is pointless. I know life will never be the same without him. Like you I am struggling and the only thing that keeps me going is being able to visit this forum and knowing that I am not going through this alone. It is the hardest thing I've ever had to go through and I've lost both parents and many other pets. Cody was like a child to me and I'm pretty sure that no one really totally gets over the loss of that.
Take care,
Julie
Julie 💔
"Grief only exists where love lived first."
--Franchesca Cox
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