Wileykitten
My Wiley. .. how I miss u. Tomorrow is going to mark 2 years that we have been apart. I just can't believe it still. Tonight as i sit here, i am reminded of this night 2 years ago, just 4 hours after we said goodbye. .. I remember holding u in my last kitten hug, singing "Best Friend" as we walked around the room at the vet's office. I was trying so hard not to cry as u clung to my shoulder that day. I can still feel ur beautiful fur against my cheek and ur paw gripping my shoulder... my head on yours. It was so surreal, we had 15 years and my life with u ran thru my mind so quickly in those last moments together. I remember laying u on the blanket and Dr Arnold said u were gone and I fell to my knees screaming ur name holding ur paw.
I remember resting my head on ur side and not hearing ur purr, heartbeat, or breathing... Im so sorry I was so hysterical, my keeten, my best friend.
I remember the office staff with tears in their eyes trying to console me..
I had just said goodbye to my best friend...my soul.
It was undoubtedly the worst moment of my life.
I felt like my soul just crumbled and died with u, and I have not been the same since u left.
I wanted to write to u tonight because I miss u so much and I want u to know I would give anything to have u here with me..
I can't believe I will live the rest of my life, however long it may be, without u, my Wiley. The thought alone terrifies me.
I miss looking at the moon and stars with u, and looking at ur beautiful face as u stared in such wonder at the shadows. I miss seeing u in the sunshine and watching snowflakes fly by, or leaves in the wind... and just sitting by the door when I came home.
I miss ur happy trill when u saw me, wanted my attention, or when I asked u a question. I m8ss playing hide and seek with u, or playing with ur favorite toy, Legs, before bed.
I miss ur face when I asked if u wanted ur "schnack" and seeing u run to the kitchen and wait...
I miss holding u and getting kitten hugs as u buried ur face in my neck and purred and wed dance as I sang "Best Friend" to u... just like that last day..
Last dance...
My Wiley, u were my life and I have never loved anyone the way I love u. U were my best friend, my keeten, my soul, and my heart still aches so much in my missing u.
Please know I think of u every day so much and forgive me that I still cry so often.. I just still can't believe ur gone.
U are my moon, my stars, my sunshine.. my life.
I love u so much, my keeten. ..
I long to be with u again.
Im trying to be so strong in this world without u..
But my world is so empty without u, my beautiful boy.
I still dont know how to do this life apart from u, my keeten. We were so inseparable for 15 years and I wouldn't change a minute of it, except to have spent more time. .. and have more time, with u now.
Please wait patiently for me, my best friend. .. and know my heart is with u where u are, always.

I love u more than words can say, my precious Wiley. More than life itself.

"Ur the best friend that ive ever had.. I've been with u such a long time and I want u to know that my feelings are true.. I really love u...
Ur my Best Friend.."

My Wiley. ..
(((Kitten hugs)))
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LuckyLouWho23
I'm so sorry for your loss. I know that there's no comfort in what I'm saying, but at least you got to say goodbye. When our dog Jack died he was almost 17. He had a long happy life. His last days were not good ones for him as his health slowly got worse. I felt selfish holding on when I knew that he just couldn't anymore. My daughter and I were there with him on his last day, and we got to tell him how much we loved him. Sadly with Popcorn we never got to do that. I don't know why, but because of that it's making things much worse for me. I keep thinking what if, or if only I didn't do this, or what if I had done this. Once again I'm sorry for your loss. I never know what to say with something like this. I do know that Wiley can still feel your love.
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Wileykitten
Thank u for ur kind words, i know u have been struggling. ..ive see ur posts and i feel ao terrible for u about ur babies. Popcorn broke my heart as i know there were many options. Ur daughters father should never have made that decision without u. Everytime i start to write u i cried and deleted it because I just didn't know how to say what i was feeling. ...this is such a wonderful site for the brokenhearted and i found my wprds became angry when i put myself in ur shoes.
I know, too, Popcorn knew that he was so very loved and as he watches over u and ur daughter, he loves u even more than u love him, and there is no anger in his heart. Im sure he is free of the itching and pain but im also sure he is worried about u and would want u to know there is no reason for u to feel guilty. U had no idea wjat would happen, u obviously felt u could trust the person u left him with. U did nothing wrong but i do understand the guilt and "what-if" thinking. I suffer it as well.
My Wiley has sinus cancer, at least that was the conclusion after 6-7 months of unsuccessful treatment of what we thought to be a recurring upper respiratory infection that just wouldn't heal because he was 15. I did schedule an appointment with a specialist 8/27/15, but i just couldn't put Wiley thru any painful testing or, if they found something, surgery. He was and will always be the best friend i have ever had and as much as i didn't want to lose him, I just couldn't. He didn't deserve that but my heart breaks everyday not seeing him here. I still have a hard time w pictures and videos. ...i did watch his birthday video w his new toy last night but it was just so hard knowing i would lose him in 3 weeks.

Im so very sorry u are hurting. .. maybe when ur heart is ready u can ask Popcorn to help u find a new friend. ..or he might even just do that when u least expect it. Wiley did that 4 months after he passed. My neice worked in a barn and they found 2 abandoned kittens.
One was black and white and the other was a dead-ringer for Wiley.
Their named are Alex and Riley and they will be 2 this year... Its funny I always used to snuggle Wiley and say "keeten u are so beautiful. ..what u look like when u were a baby kitten?" And hed trill and bump his head into my neck.
Now I know. ...

Praying for u and ur daughter, my friend.
This may sound odd but I recommend Reiki if u can find a true Reiki Master. Read about it... it is life changing and sometimes during my treatments, i have seen Wiley and it feels like I have been transported and was actually holding him or playing with him at my house... when the treatment was over, i would be in shock that I hadnt really hadn't been home.
The energy knows ur heart is broken and it does amazing things... u never know what u will feel or see, and i have found it to be a huge help in my sadness. Our patients are always sharing incredible stories after it, people they saw who have passed and brilliant colors, and some just say, "i know now everything is going to be alright".
Read about it... it may help u as well.

God bless u both and thank u again for ur response. My heart is so broken this morning.

(((Hugs)))
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camunki
Hi, you have been a long time poster just like myself on these boards and it seems like it was yesterday that we both joined, even though it has been a couple of years.

My heart goes out to you and it seems with the blink of an eye, time just keeps on slipping away.......I know how much you love and adore your Wiley, who is safe now on his fun adventure in his new home. I am sure marking the 2 years that you have been away from your Wiley too, hurts to the core. And I am sure you have a boatload of memories and have had some smiles come thru for all the wonderful years you had together.

You were with Wiley til the very end, and helped him transition...that is a beautiful thing, I too have been thru this 3x since Jan 2nd 2015 until Oct 21st 2016.

This journey is a hard one and I only wish you comfort at this two year mark...........Your Wiley loves you and will be waiting for you, your guardian angel forever, until you meet again.

Cam


 
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