My 16 year old cat Monty has been with me almost my entire adult life. Two weeks ago, he began having seizures-previously very few health issues. At first, anticonvulsants helped, but Tuesday he began a steady downward spiral. Yesterday, it was like he was half gone already. I took him to the vet this morning and she said he likely has brain disease/tumor and it is rapidly progressing; we made the most difficult decision I ever had to make. I stayed with him during it, but he did not go peacefully. It was so hard to watch and it is burned in my head. I miss him so much and have been crying non stop since last night. I keep thinking he will walk around the corner. I dont know how long this feeling will last. I cannot eat, which is bad because Im expecting. I dont even know what I expect by writing this, but I have to put this pain somewhere.
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I am so sorry for your loss of your beautiful Monty. I understand how you feel as putting my dog, Ruby to sleep was not peaceful either and it replays over and over again in my head. I think little by little I am starting to block out moments of that day. I was so sick and unable to eat also but you have to have whatever you can since you’re pregnant. When I am feeling extra horrible I sometimes write a little post on this site to get some of what I’m feeling out. It’s kind of like my therapy I guess. I lost another pet a little over 10 years ago when I was 8 months pregnant and I was absolutely devistated. Everyone told me I had to calm down so that I wouldn’t put stress on the baby. Easier said than done. If you can’t eat maybe you or someone else can make you fruit or peanut butter shakes. That may be easier for you to get down right now. All I can say is that I hope you feel better and wish you peace. 🙏❤️
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I'm truly sorry for your loss of Monty.  I understand your pain.  We, in this forum have lost a beloved fur baby and know of the immense pain their passing have caused us.
When you are in this much pain, functioning is almost impossible, eating is very difficult.  What I did, was eat saltines crackers, Pedialyte (very cold),
any type of soda, popsicles and ice cream (not ideal).  For some reason, I could stomach "cold" items - ?? perhaps, numbing the pain.  

I know everyone is telling to eat because "you are expecting", but, they are right, you need to eat, you have a little one, depending on you.  Keep writing in this forum, everyone here is so caring, compassionate, understanding, and ready to give support.  Hugs
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I am so sorry for your loss. I’m right here with you. I had to say goodbye to my dog Scottie yesterday and I’ve been a wreck since. We found out on Monday he had a mass on his spleen and before we could have the surgery done he started having seizures and the vet had a hard time getting him out of them. It was the hardest decision I had to make and I keep thinking what if this or if only they caught this sooner or if we had more time. He to was worked up when it was time, he was panting and seemed in distress ( I just hope he wasn’t scared) It was almost a relief when he Calmed down and took his last breath. Loosing a pet is so difficult. I found this group and decided to post. Even if no one responded it felt good to let it out and to know there are others going through the same thing. Sending hugs your way.
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My heart breaks for you.  Having to make that "decision", one of the hardest....but, it is made out of love.  As pet owners, we adore our fur babies, we would do anything to make them feel better, to make them whole again.  But, sometimes, it is not possible and we have to rely on the vet's knowledge.
And, yes, you, I, we will continue to second guess, What if this?  What if that?.  All these decisions, and your body is numb with pain, and sometimes is even hard to just "breath".  Scottie is "free" of pain....., 
Again, I am so sorry for your loss.

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I am so sorry for your loss of Monty.   I can tell from your photo that he was a happy cat.  Take some solace knowing you gave him love and a good life.  I understand your pain.  I had to have my cat Foxy put to sleep a couple days ago because she could no longer walk.  The pain is unbearable. They have always been there, and so suddenly, they are gone. But there is some comfort in knowing they are no longer suffering.  I believe they move on to a better place, and are looking down on us.  I light a candle next to her picture- it helps me feel some connection with her.  I wish you peace, and send you Hugs.  
Andrea Miara
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I've been trying to at least find a topic or post regarding cats.  It seems right now
I'm getting more confused and can't find my way back on the forum.

I get up in the mornings with a cold chill in my stomach and that sort of heartsick feeling of Jasper not being here anymore.  
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