Mackysmum
It's 8 weeks my boy 2 whole months i can't believe it's been that long already
I miss you still I don't think that will ever change
And I love you today like I did when you were here alive with me , that will never ever change .
I can smile at times when i think of the funny things that you did but I still get tears when i think of how old you become and that last month of your life was just not very nice , my poor babe .
I'm sorry things we're not perfect that last month I stuffed up the med and it didn't help your back legs , guilt for that is heavy so deep , i was so overwhelmed that it fatigued my mind so i made a mistake . Sorry my best friend , i hope you knew it was not intentional i would walk over fire for you buddy .
I still dont know for sure what caused you to be so anxious " pain ? Dementia ? Blindness ? Or maybe all 3 ? .
It makes me so sad to know you were scared or anxious sorry baby boy .
I hope your ok now at rest and waiting for mumma to come one day so we're together forever .
I talk to you daily always , i hope you hear me and feel my love still .
I'm at a point were i feel kinda stuck I'm not real sure how to fully move forward now ? Ive gotten better with the grief but I can't fully move on it feels wrong to move on , like if I do it means your forgotten and you didn't mean anything ?
To have you here still is alk i need of change some things so it was more perfect cause i always made things perfect " mums ocd lol "
A big bear hug would be so nice a nibble on my chin like you did , i miss that buddy so much

You were my boy and I'll always be your mummy FOREVER MY BEST FRIEND .



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Sampson
My deepest condolences on your loss of Macky. I have no doubts that Macky knows how much you cared about him and that you would do anything for him. You were tired and that is often unfortunately the case when our beloved pets are very ill. It is possible for you to move on without leaving Macky behind. He'll always be with you and he'll be wishing for your happiness more then anything. Take Care,
Sam
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Sampson
I just want to add that Macky's picture is absolutely gorgeous. Those eyes!
My deepest sympathies.
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Mackysmum
Hi thank you Sampson
I know his eyes were so gorgeous like looking into his soul , beautiful boy .
I was very tired the last 6 months leading up to.macky leaving me , and to be honest very overwhelmed it was like I couldn't think in the last month macky was here and there wasn't much help from people around me , which still now upsets me but don't tell them .
Unfountently things were not perfect i always made sure macky was looked after and done everything right by him , i did stuff up in his last 6 weeks here but I realized after a couple of weeks and fixed it but he just kept going down hill . So I'll never truly know if my stuff up caused him getting so bad .
It's the hardest part to loosing him the guilt .
Sorry I'm going on it helps to write it down i guess .
I'm sure he knows I loved him cause he loved me so much back .

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msweet13
Dearest MackysMom - I have just read your post and I want to say that I am so very sorry for your loss of your beloved Macky. He is a very handsome boy--just looking at him I want to give him a big hug--those eyes!! I lost my beloved Brutus about 8 weeks ago so I know all too well what you must be going through. I have good days but mostly I just feel lost and empty. What I keep telling myself is that Brutus would never want to see me sad, or cry. He would feel very bad to know that I am in such pain because of him. From what you write, and what you don't write, I can tell that you are a very loving and good mommy and you did your ultimate best for your boy, even if you don't feel like you did. The important thing to remember is that Macky KNEW, even if you didn't, that you loved him and cared for him the very best way you knew how--you were his mommy--that is all he knew and that is all that really mattered to him. Again, I am so sorry for your loss. Together, along with all the other beautiful members of this site, we will make it through this journey. We will be forever changed by the tremendous loss, but we will heal and things will become bearable. I send you warmest hugs and blessings of comfort.
Denise (Brutus' Mom)
Brutus von Dolce
06/19/2006 - 03/16/2018
RIP my sweet beautiful boy
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